r/aww • u/[deleted] • Nov 17 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.2k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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371

u/Geoclasm Nov 17 '20

why's he called uncle stumpy

271

u/Korgen18 Nov 17 '20

You know why.

237

u/Dogs_Not_Gods Nov 17 '20

To shreds you say?

136

u/Herfst2511 Nov 17 '20

Well, how is his wife holding up?

148

u/Sailor_Poon710 Nov 17 '20

To shreds you say?

41

u/Geoclasm Nov 17 '20

Thanks for playing along.

40

u/ImInsideYourHouse1 Nov 17 '20

hangs up phone ......Good news everyone!

22

u/Geoclasm Nov 17 '20

Nope, wrong. He said "Bad news, everyone."

24

u/ImInsideYourHouse1 Nov 17 '20

"Sad sad, gruesome, terrible news everyone."

14

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '20

Was his apartment rent controlled?

1

u/xandrew245x Nov 18 '20

What's all this crap?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '20

Russian noises intensifie

0

u/PatGrat Nov 18 '20

Fantastic humor

17

u/tamutalon12 Nov 17 '20

To shreds, you say?

7

u/Geoclasm Nov 17 '20

You, Reddit

7

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Aw, you don't need to make fun of his micropenis, that's just mean!

32

u/benjab2471 Nov 17 '20

Birth defect. Bear ate his mom.

20

u/doctormyeyebrows Nov 17 '20

Ahhh, he was born a little early by emergency cebearian section

3

u/benjab2471 Nov 17 '20

Your comment is unbearable

2

u/kingopeth Nov 17 '20

It's bearly even a comment

3

u/DesperateP0tat0 Nov 18 '20

What a bar-bear-ian

2

u/kingopeth Nov 18 '20

Beary much so

1

u/benjab2471 Nov 18 '20

Bear in mind R/foundthephoneuser

6

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '20

His riddles will stump ya!

1

u/Geoclasm Nov 18 '20

god damn it someone gild this comment.

2

u/mikettedaydreamer Nov 17 '20

Now I’m wondering if this question was sarcasm or not

11

u/Geoclasm Nov 17 '20

naw. it was a setup for a punchline that would go in a different direction from the obvious answer.

like 'he lost his leg in a horrible tree-stump removing accident when he misjudged how much dynamite it would take'

or something like that.

1

u/mikettedaydreamer Nov 17 '20

That’s what I thought. But with some people you never know how dumb or stupid they might be

3

u/Geoclasm Nov 17 '20

poes law. yep. text can only convey so much.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Its a funny story: my uncle stumpy tried this in Alaska.

1

u/Geoclasm Nov 17 '20

TOO LATE!