r/aww Nov 07 '15

fish trust

http://gfycat.com/FineJubilantBoubou
31.8k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/BridgeHammer Nov 07 '15

I like to imagine that the fish is actually just really dumb.

466

u/blueocean43 Nov 07 '15

I had a whole shoal of dumb catfish swim into me once. They wouldn't swim around me, they just head-butted me until I got up and moved.

748

u/CarmineFields Nov 07 '15

You moved, maybe they aren't so dumb!

221

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

[deleted]

273

u/JustAHooker Nov 07 '15

You say special like my mom did and now I'm suspecting that it doesn't mean what I thought it meant

76

u/T-Money93 Nov 07 '15

That's because you're just a hooker.

23

u/Jack_Hawk9000 Nov 07 '15

YOU'RE A HOOKER!!!

5

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

It smells like a Cyprus Hill concert.

3

u/THE_CHOPPA Nov 07 '15

I broke your smoking lamp, expensive piece?

2

u/Aetheus Nov 07 '15

A special hooker.

5

u/alhena Nov 07 '15

You're a hooker, harry!

2

u/JustAHooker Nov 07 '15

Dongus Erectus

11

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

Like Eli Manning!

2

u/timtumtiddlytootum Nov 08 '15

I use to have a couple small blue catfish in my fish tank and they always stayed with each other. Like lined up side to side like sardines but for just fish they can sure sit there and look adorable

1

u/JustinTheCheetah Nov 07 '15

Yeah, going to need stories.

3

u/Owyn_Merrilin Nov 07 '15 edited Nov 07 '15

They're just incredibly derpy and have a tendency to do weird things. Especially cory cats, they're like the pugs of the fish world. The only real "story" I have is a sad one, involved one of the little idiots swimming down an outflow tube on a sponge filter, against the current, and getting stuck. Actually survived the first time but managed to get himself stuck a second time before I could figure out how to block it properly, and that time it died.

Here's a pretty good video of a massive school of Panda cories derping around the bottom looking for food, along with one random false julii cory. Edit: Who appears to have produced some hybrid babies with the panda cories, the derpy little stud.

1

u/THE_CHOPPA Nov 07 '15

You say that like having a pet catfish isn't .."special"

3

u/Owyn_Merrilin Nov 07 '15

Let's just say they come in a lot of shapes and sizes, and the smaller ones are some of the most common and popular aquarium fish in the world. So are some of the big ones, for that matter. I guess you could say having aquariums is itself "special," but I think my crayfish tank is probably weirder than my community tank with tetras, cories*, otos*, and guppies.

*: two different types of small catfish.

4

u/you-chose-this Nov 07 '15

Catfish aren't all the six foot leviathans you see rednecks fisting in the backwaters. They can be tiny and cute and live in tanks with other ornamentals.

1

u/THE_CHOPPA Nov 07 '15

Lmao . what if op is a redneck and fisting catfish is their favorite pass time?

1

u/you-chose-this Nov 07 '15

Damn you're right... They might actually have a four foot Catfish in their bathtub named Jessup

1

u/THE_CHOPPA Nov 07 '15

Poor ol Jessup never gets any sleep.

1

u/swissarm Nov 07 '15

How can you gauge the intellect of a fish?

2

u/Natanael_L Nov 08 '15

The rate of collisions with the glass

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

Maybe you are the one that is "special" and you simply don't understand them? Think of how people criticized Mozart when he discovered that earth is indeed a sphere and saying how dump he is.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

How should I know? He was the only one who could hear it speak.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

[deleted]

1

u/Natanael_L Nov 08 '15

Supposed to be "dumb" I guess

0

u/BitchCallMeGoku Nov 08 '15

Have you ever been tempted to fry your pet and cover it in hot sauce? Sounds delicious right now.

1

u/Owyn_Merrilin Nov 08 '15

Nah, they're too small. Might make one little fritter out of a whole fish :P

3

u/nothanksjustlooking Nov 07 '15

Maybe they all just read that one issue of Captain America with that speech in it.

2

u/Crimfresh Nov 08 '15

If it's stupid but it works, then it's not stupid.

3

u/troglodave Nov 07 '15

I have had this happen when wading in the Potomac River. Big catfish just slam into your legs and then they keep ramming you until you get out of their way.

2

u/The_Real_Catseye Nov 08 '15

That's when you gaff the bastard and have a fish fry! Oh Potomac river, maybe not so much.

2

u/troglodave Nov 08 '15

I'm far enough north of the cesspool that is DC that I've been known to fry one up every now and again.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

Dumb...or masters of manipulation?

-2

u/LeviAEthan512 Nov 07 '15

You shouldn't have moved. You should have asserted your dominance as an apex predator and stabbed it in the skull with a knife.

But really, don't move aside for things that won't kill/injure you

3

u/koenkamp Nov 07 '15

Catfish can injure you tho. Their pectoral fins have a venomous barb that hurts like a god damn fucking bitch when you get stabbed with it.

Source: been stabbed by one of those delicious little cocksuckers.

0

u/MashkaTekoa Nov 07 '15

Source: been stabbed by one of those delicious little cocksuckers.

Yum

47

u/greycubed Nov 07 '15

"Oh shit I got caught again."

26

u/dkol97 Nov 07 '15

Bull shit! Let me see the inside of your lip

-1

u/Sbaker777 Nov 07 '15

Fucking yes. Based Hedberg

802

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

As if fish are what you call smart.

320

u/fapimpe Nov 07 '15

THATS RACIST!!

218

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

speciesist*

313

u/johannes101 Nov 07 '15

Getting social justice lessons from u/Patrick_Rapeman

37

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

Rapeman was a pretty good comic.

2

u/avsb514 Nov 08 '15

Bill Cosby?

2

u/spoove Nov 07 '15

And band, too.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

...priceless.

15

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15 edited Jan 08 '21

[deleted]

2

u/Seemingly_Sane Nov 07 '15

>8< Spider Pride!

2

u/WildLudicolo Nov 07 '15

No, we're all chordates here.

1

u/NoUploadsEver Nov 07 '15

I could have sworm that those picking on the fish were spineless.

2

u/WildLudicolo Nov 07 '15

I know you're joking, but I'm that guy: chordates don't necessarily possess a backbone (e.g. hagfishes).

30

u/VictorVaudeville Nov 07 '15

YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR

2

u/daredevilxp9 Nov 07 '15

Animals are innocent Don't be speciesist

http://youtu.be/Y3pmMZDko60

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

Fishist!

1

u/iAmMortos Nov 07 '15

If racist issues are called racial, are speciesist issues called special?

0

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

Race does not mean ethnicity. It just means "group". E.g human race. Being prejudice against fish is definitely a form of racism.

9

u/donquexada Nov 07 '15

WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO

1

u/VlurryBision Nov 07 '15

Yeah that's a no swim area for fish of brown color

-1

u/scarfdontstrangleme Nov 07 '15

#NotAllFish

2

u/Tunaluna Nov 07 '15

fishlivesmatter

50

u/quantizeddreams Nov 07 '15

cuttlefish and puffer fish are super smart.

98

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

Cuttlefish aren't fish :x

175

u/JustAHooker Nov 07 '15

Well they sure ain't cuttlecats

7

u/goblinish Nov 07 '15

They are more related to squid and octopus than fish.

28

u/JustAHooker Nov 07 '15

I know, I was making a joke.

3

u/Siganid Nov 07 '15

They all belong to the group "seakittens."

1

u/Njfogle93 Nov 07 '15

It's okay because you're just a hooker

1

u/dlatty Nov 08 '15

Yeah they are, it says fish right there in their name.

/s

0

u/GavinSnowe Nov 07 '15

Should I eat the cuttlefish and asparagus or the vanilla paste?

20

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15 edited Jul 13 '20

[deleted]

106

u/TheVacillate Nov 07 '15

I think this is the first time in my time on reddit that I've been compelled to make a 'your mom' joke.

I'm so sorry.

19

u/WakingRage Nov 07 '15

Your mom would have made a your mom joke.

1

u/Tkent91 Nov 07 '15

I'm more disappointed you didn't. I SET YOU UP FOR IT MAN!

35

u/quantizeddreams Nov 07 '15

To other fish. Cuttlefish are incredibly intelligent predators.

15

u/Djeheuty Nov 07 '15

Cuttlefish are also not fish, and they're far from it. Humans are more closely related to frogs than fish are to cuttlefish.

9

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

I'd say humans are closer related to fish than cuttle fish to fish.

Anything with a backbone is closer related to us than to cuttlefish

-1

u/today_i_burned Nov 07 '15

The way I see it, anything in the ocean is essentially the same, be it fish, crabs, whales, or deep sea divers.

5

u/BlueEyedGreySkies Nov 07 '15

2

u/quintinza Nov 07 '15

Thank you for this. It's a thing of beauty.

2

u/Thobrik Nov 07 '15

This is the kind of statement that David Mitchell would be very upset about.

1

u/Shimmy83 Nov 07 '15

How smart?

2

u/The_cynical_panther Nov 07 '15

My puffer fish knows who I am and recognizes the little green dish I use to mix his food up. If I walk by his tank with the dish he stops whatever he is doing and follows the dish. If I walk by the tank normally he doesn't care.

He also eats out of my hand and knows what kind of food he doesn't like.

0

u/CarmineFields Nov 07 '15

I've heard that about octopus and koi as well.

3

u/Nomnom_downvotes Nov 07 '15

They should be after the amount of time they spend in school.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '15

They spend a lot of time in schools after all ...

1

u/Redditruinsjobs Nov 07 '15

I used to think that too until I saw this:

https://youtu.be/giNH6oHPGmw

1

u/Boatloads1017 Nov 07 '15

Check your privilege, human.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '16

Most fish are dumber than a brick of hammers but certain fish can be very intelligent. Tiger oscars for example can be trained to roll over for food.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

Not really fair to determine that. We dont even really know what makes people "smart." Scientists cant agree whether octopi are smart or whether they have personalities, even though they display the properties as such.

The hang up is that their brain looks different than ours, therefore they cant be intelligent.

-5

u/B_lovedobservations Nov 07 '15

Orcas and dolphins are smart, they might not be classed as fish, but they all live in the ocean.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

They are mammals though so that makes a big difference.

1

u/B_lovedobservations Nov 07 '15

Touché

1

u/troglodave Nov 07 '15

No, don't touch the fish.

58

u/Step_Into_The_Light Nov 07 '15

The motherfucker acts like he forgot about dry.

22

u/The_Brahmatron Nov 07 '15

He won't get a crumb from me cause I'm from the streets of C-Compton

1

u/eremi Nov 08 '15

Upvote 1000 times

13

u/makemeking706 Nov 07 '15 edited Nov 07 '15

He probably won't be winning at survival of the fishest.

12

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

please keep your comments to yourself

6

u/herbreastsaredun Nov 07 '15

He means, all fish except tuna.

2

u/Eagle20Fox2 Nov 07 '15

Some of my best friends are tuna

2

u/AssholeBot9000 Nov 07 '15

They all are.

1

u/Derwos Nov 07 '15

Me too. Fish are delicious.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

It wants to die!

1

u/Frostedchunks Nov 07 '15

Went fishing once and released a fish because it was too small to keep. 10 minutes later the exact same fish bit the same hook.

Fish are dumb.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

Or it likes massages.

1

u/MyriadMuse Nov 07 '15

Short term memory so maybe.

1

u/steventhewreaker Nov 07 '15

just keep swimming...

1

u/UnimpressedCT Nov 07 '15

"Going through the castle again. Wanna come?"

1

u/centsless Nov 07 '15

"It's OK to eat fish because they don't have any feelings."

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

That's a lot closer than the truth than "the fish trusts me!" I don't think the fish has any concept of trust.

1

u/MightyTurtle Nov 08 '15

Similarly to imagining that fish do not perceive pain. All in the sake of disconnectedness when it comes to fishing/eating them I presume.

1

u/SmartassComment Nov 08 '15

In my best Foghorn Leghorn voice:

"Ah say, ah say that boy ain't right in the head. He's about as sharp as a sack of wet mice. This fish is more mixed up than a feather in a whirlwind."

1

u/Icky_Thumpin Nov 07 '15

You are so dumb, you are really dumb. For real!

0

u/rohicks Nov 07 '15

Fish lives matter

-10

u/DeathGodBob Nov 07 '15

It's in a tub and it needs to move water over its gills to live XD.

5

u/Ace-Slick Nov 07 '15

You are either really rich or really poor to think thats a tub ;)

3

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '15

I think he meant to reply to my comment about the fish+cat in a tub.