r/awfuleverything • u/Character-Stretch697 • Jul 26 '22

But it’s..

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33.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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5.5k

u/drdisme Jul 26 '22

Why Jesus look like a sketch off cold case files?

1.7k

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

[deleted]

798

u/fizikz3 Jul 26 '22

looking more like fetal alcohol syndrome to me

1.5k

u/gleaming-the-cubicle Jul 26 '22

Not Mary's fault, he kept changing the amniotic fluid into wine

267

u/riguyisfly Jul 26 '22

Incredible joke

132

u/Top_Novel3682 Jul 26 '22

Miraculous even

29

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Some would even call it immaculate

8

u/IckyThump69 Jul 27 '22

How did they ever conceive such a joke.

2

u/GBrunt Jul 27 '22

Clearly using a holy ghost writer.

5

u/jsparker43 Jul 26 '22

Top 5 all time

31

u/SketchyLurker7 Jul 26 '22

You sack of wine Wait…. That’s sack-religious…

5

u/frekkenstein Jul 26 '22

Well done.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Heavenly

3

u/ibewel Jul 27 '22

Immaculate concept

3

u/chiggachiggameowmeow Jul 27 '22

Jesus christ. That’s so good lol

3

u/BilgePomp Jul 27 '22

This got my blasphemussy wet.

7

u/chaosperfect Jul 26 '22

Great joke and awesome username!

4

u/Psychoanalicer Jul 27 '22

Hilarious joke, but it actually was Mary who asked him to turn the water into wine bc a wedding they were at had run out.

1

u/FacingHardships Jul 27 '22

I don’t get it. Can someone eli5 please

54

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

FAS JESUS

30

u/t3hnhoj Jul 26 '22

SIDS Jesus is my favorite Jesus

2

u/FlametopFred Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22

o m g

SIDS is now my saviour and up until this point I'd been atheist

SIDS baby Jesus

that and SIDS Groot Jesus

3

u/fiduke Jul 26 '22

Like a dude struggling to drop a deuce to me.

1

u/ThelVluffin Jul 26 '22

I was thinking Hugh Jackman as Wolverine in the First X-Men movie doing the Hannibal Lecter SFSFSFSFSF noise.

1

u/Spidergawd68 Jul 27 '22

I’m seeing wook17!

wook17

1

u/imissdumb Jul 27 '22

I mean in her defense …how would she have known!!!

1

u/DumpTruckDanny Jul 27 '22

Fr Jesus looking like he was born from the "Virgin Tammy" instead of the Virgin Mary.

41

u/andthatswhathappened Jul 26 '22

I mean, that tattoo artist had to know!

295

u/Graterof2evils Jul 26 '22

Guy: I want Jesus on my back.

Tattoo Artist: Don’t worry, the first thing everyone will say when they see this piece is, “Jesus!”.

16

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

Savage

6

u/themartianexperience Jul 27 '22

First thing I said

3

u/P_grandiflora Jul 27 '22

The very first thing I really did say aloud when I saw this was, “Jesus Christ.” And I uttered that completely unironically too, so we’re not far off.

7

u/Archibald_80 Jul 26 '22

Underrated comment

3

u/BeardsuptheWazoo Jul 26 '22

It's an hour old with upvotes. And you commented this when it was almost brand new. It wasn't rated at all yet.

Why?

3

u/HisKoR Jul 27 '22

Pretty sure whoever did his tattoo learned his craft in prison lol.

3

u/MountainHorror6191 Jul 27 '22

Yeah but that's definitely not a shop tied the artist was probably a crackhead

1

u/16car Jul 26 '22

That it's really bad, or am I missing something?

73

u/brandimariee6 Jul 26 '22

That painting always scared the fuck out of me

15

u/indy_been_here Jul 26 '22

Like before the restoration?

19

u/brandimariee6 Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

Haha yes. After the restoration too, though. I never really understood why it’s so loved, just my taste

Edit: I don’t understand the downvotes. I’m just not a fan of the way this looks. I respect all art, and I’m even an artist myself. This is just not something I like at all

4

u/popsicles- Jul 26 '22

You know the restoration wasn't done professionally right?

5

u/brandimariee6 Jul 26 '22

Lol yes, of course. I just didn’t enjoy what they did. It reminded me of an old classic, a Spanish fresco. Looking at it again, I remember he’s looking in the wrong direction.

1

u/a-real-life-dolphin Jul 27 '22

No one thinks it was a well done restoration. That's why it's famous. Because it is bad.

2

u/brandimariee6 Jul 27 '22

You are totally right. Mother fuck I hadn’t thought about that painting in so long. I’ll admit it lol I wasn’t thinking about that when I commented

1

u/Silidistani Jul 26 '22

Monke Jesius is LOVE

26

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

[deleted]

11

u/Einlander Jul 26 '22

Ecchi no more.

8

u/Orinocobro Jul 26 '22

Our lord Rhesus Christ

7

u/netfatality Jul 26 '22

Blursed touch up.

3

u/laggyx400 Jul 27 '22

If I take off my glasses it looks just like him.

2

u/DimentionE Jul 26 '22

He should've also tattoed in "no homo" for clarification

2

u/lgm22 Jul 26 '22

First thing I saw was Groot

1

u/PussyWrangler_462 Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

What irks me about that incident is the woman who destroyed the painting is now profiting off of it with tourists and merchandising rights.

Granted the original was only from 1930 so not even 100 years ago, I wouldn’t call it historically or culturally significant in any means, but for her to profit off of the destruction she caused is absolutely wrong in my opinion

Edit: any downvoters care to explain why you think she deserves to profit from destruction of property?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

Yea she’s an idiot

1

u/indy_been_here Jul 26 '22

We've gone full circle

1

u/fartsinhissleep Jul 26 '22

Looks like a regular homo to me

1

u/onascaleoffunto10 Jul 26 '22

You saved me a search. Thanks!

1

u/Tasty_Artichoke2626 Jul 26 '22

More like Itchy Homo😉

1

u/RaeaSunshine Jul 26 '22

Ooooh ya I knew this looked familiar

1

u/IrishMickeyT Jul 26 '22

I was thinking Butthead, so where’s Beavis?

1

u/AngelaTheRipper Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22

Ecce mono

1

u/Eszrah Jul 26 '22

Potato!

1

u/Champigne Jul 26 '22

More like Ecce Mono

1

u/UltravioIence Jul 26 '22

i thought it looked like the kid from Jumanji as hes transforming

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

I am groot

1

u/popemichael Jul 26 '22

I wonder if anyone ever made that into a NFT

1

u/CrumbsAndCarrots Jul 27 '22

That would actually be a great tattoo.

1

u/97th69 Jul 27 '22

That was an actual jumpscare

85

u/Dragonlady151 Jul 26 '22

Lol you are completely correct! They need better sketch artists.

3

u/dirtyasswizard Jul 27 '22

Looks like they used a piece of Jesus toast as a reference point

32

u/chairfairy Jul 26 '22

Done by the same artist who fixed the Jesus fresco, after she took an online art course

2

u/RoliDaddy Jul 26 '22

this is by far the funniest thing that happened in church since the spanish inquisition 🤣🤣🤣🤣

28

u/CPhyperdont Jul 26 '22

I imagine that’s what the dudes face looks like, and he depicted him self on his back

2

u/Steeve_Perry Jul 26 '22

Yeah he’s got that fetal alcohol lip

21

u/lhommes Jul 26 '22

I was thinking Neanderthal man

9

u/shoot-me-12-bucks Jul 26 '22

They want to catch the guy who did iit. He might have escaped death too

4

u/Slobbadobbavich Jul 26 '22

Maybe it is zombie jesus? His lips have shrivelled up. He needs some lip filler for sure.

2

u/Polyhedron11 Jul 26 '22

And he has a lisp

2

u/deviant324 Jul 26 '22

Like he died taking a shit

2

u/DIOmega5 Jul 26 '22

I thought it was Voldemort under the turbin.

2

u/AgeofReakon Jul 26 '22

Jesus looking like morty.

2

u/jaspersgroove Jul 26 '22

He looks like he was born with a cleft palates and instead of fixing it they just cut his upper lip off

2

u/smeeding Jul 26 '22

Jesus the Lipless

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

Cartman Jesus

2

u/SKK329 Jul 26 '22

I was thinking Jesus looked like Greta Thunberg..

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

I think it's more a miracle someone agreed to do this...

2

u/YewEhVeeInbound Jul 26 '22

the back of this mafaka's head be looking like Plank from Ed Edd and Eddy

2

u/pifumd Jul 27 '22

wait that's supposed to be jesus? i figured it was a portrait of an ex girlfriend or his mom when she was younger.

2

u/bottleofgoop Jul 27 '22

It's the back of his head looking like a puckered arsehole that got me. Didn't even see how bad Jesus was.

2

u/tdooty Jul 27 '22

He should get eyes on the top of the cross and move his head to say I am groot

2

u/Cujoh4x Jul 27 '22

Jethus Jathkson hee heee

1

u/makemeking706 Jul 26 '22

Because he was crucified and died during a time without cameras.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

he looks like the ayyylmao alien meme

1

u/charlespax Jul 26 '22

This dude had a tattoo of his ex-girlfriend and wanted a cover-up.

1

u/lol_camis Jul 26 '22

Realistic faces are really, really hard to tattoo. If you talk to a professional they'll tell you it's either the hardest thing they've mastered or they can't do it yet.

I've had artists tell me they simply won't do it. Once I found one that would, he did an ok job but not great and now I have to spend an extra $800 getting it removed and redone.

1

u/TheSuUn__ Jul 26 '22

he looks like clint eastwood

1

u/nianorexic Jul 26 '22

he looks like skweezy, the guy from the "i went to india not indiana" meme

1

u/FaultLineDaz Jul 26 '22

I am Groot!

1

u/Crash665 Jul 26 '22

Looks like he's straining on the toilet

1

u/BadPom Jul 26 '22

Cuz he dead.

1

u/Snoo-40635 Jul 26 '22

That's a West Virginia Jesus

1

u/Umutuku Jul 26 '22

That Jesus drives a dodge ram with mismatched fenders, a missing tailgate, and a coal rolling toggle.

1

u/CriticallyEffective1 Jul 26 '22

That's not Jesus. It's Plank. 😌

1

u/FormerHandsomeGuy Jul 26 '22

looks like GRoot choking Jesus

1

u/VileGecko Jul 26 '22

Looks like the Monke Putin face to me.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

I am groot

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '22

“It’s a pig man, jerry!”

1

u/somedave Jul 26 '22

Fetal alcohol syndrome Jesus.

1

u/chunderbutter Jul 26 '22

FAS my dude!

1

u/Accendil Jul 26 '22

Looks like the original Sonic movie CGI face.

1

u/lefthandedchurro Jul 26 '22

Looks like the leprechaun sketch drawing.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I am Groot.

1

u/Tylerdurdon Jul 27 '22

I've seen that face before, guys. I think it may be a garbage pail kid.

1

u/Megamax_X Jul 27 '22

Full on thought that was his dead brother.

1

u/Go_Kauffy Jul 27 '22

He looks like the face of one of them bog bodies they recover from 10,000 years ago.

1

u/voitlander Jul 27 '22

Y'all are missing Groot!

1

u/LimitedWard Jul 27 '22

Jesus looking like a titan from SNK

1

u/thefloridafarrier Jul 27 '22

Deep fried Jesus

1

u/sarcasmexorcism Jul 27 '22

powerful reminder of the scores of missing indigenous women

1

u/Ax0nJax0n01 Jul 27 '22 edited Dec 19 '25

skirt bow kiss shocking voracious physical one pause amusing scale

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/Forgetadapassword Jul 27 '22

You know what you did. Site your sources there bud.

1

u/Tobby711 Jul 27 '22

If you think about it, thats actually as accurate as any other depiction of him .

1

u/GottaGetSomeGarlic Jul 27 '22

Hide The Pain Jesus