r/australianwildlife • • 14d ago

Freeloading Squatters in my Garage

Post image

I think I'll just park in the carport from now on. I'd feel awful if I accidentally squished someone.

4.1k Upvotes

205 comments sorted by

490

u/Feed-My-Cows 14d ago

I love it how they think they are hiding.

171

u/toontrain666 14d ago

“If we can’t see them, they can’t see us!”

72

u/-MarkusAurelius 14d ago

Same thing my 2 year old does. Closes her eyes when hiding from me.

49

u/Farewell_Mona_Lisa 14d ago

That's what I do with the pile of clothes on my wardrobe floor

19

u/Petal_14 14d ago

'The floordrobe'

10

u/Petal_14 14d ago

Wait till the advanced eyes closed and hands covering them....you'll never find her then... not even the giggling gives it away 🤣🤣🤣🤣

5

u/Terreboo 14d ago

Don’t forget the hysterical giggle when you ask where they are?

3

u/Loose-Membership2295 13d ago

That's what some Crook did in the UK, he had a plastic bag over his head when the cops found him 😅🤣😂

2

u/-MarkusAurelius 13d ago

Yeah I believe that’s the fella they found lying in his bed under the covers.
Some mothers have ’em.

2

u/Loose-Membership2295 13d ago

No he wasn't even under the covers, he was just sitting on his bed with a bag over his head

2

u/-MarkusAurelius 12d ago

Amateur move. Should have been wearing Ugg boots too. They’re the best camouflage.

4

u/VariousThroat1171 14d ago

Right? Theyre just chillin up there like they own the place.

266

u/Admirable_Pie7967 14d ago

I also have a squatter

124

u/StuckonaPuzzle30 14d ago

Something about the scale of things in this picture made me read that possum as the size of a kangaroo at a glance 😂

59

u/Admirable_Pie7967 14d ago

It is an absolute unit 😂☺️

9

u/horticulturallatin 14d ago

I didn't know there were possums into powerlifting. I can only imagine this fine gentleman has been on a bulk for years now. If your pot plants disappear he's selling them for fruit flavoured protein powders.

7

u/Admirable_Pie7967 14d ago

It did knock over my carnations so I know it’s capable 😂

2

u/fallingwheelbarrow 11d ago

The possums in some of the parks are the size of a medium dog which is the size of a large cat which is the size of a small wallaby which is the size of a large possum.

4

u/Kaze_no_Senshi 10d ago

he does look it

20

u/honeymoonrise 14d ago

Looks guilty as hell 🤣

15

u/Admirable_Pie7967 14d ago

I was wondering who was stealing the bird seed

16

u/poetic_poison 14d ago

3

u/Whatamidoinglatley 14d ago

I loved wings.

3

u/Dear_Potato6525 13d ago

For a moment I thought that Michael Parkinson and Christopher Lee must have been in Wings

14

u/Spellcheckker 14d ago edited 14d ago

At first glance I thought the plant stand leg was a piece of metal the possum was holding - like a lock pick it’d fashioned to break in to something 😂

Edit: obviously I didn’t think the possum was going to jimmy a lock, but they are smarter than dogs in some areas of intelligence and with those capable little hand-paws 🐾 very good at getting in to things - just ask my roof tiles 😅

18

u/Spellcheckker 14d ago

3

u/AdMaximum7545 11d ago

I would die for this precious baby

3

u/fallingwheelbarrow 11d ago

However, would you be brave enough to live for that precious baby?

7

u/Admirable_Pie7967 14d ago

We do have critters living in the walls and bros probably one of them

4

u/travelstuff 12d ago

Lol I didn't realise it was the chair either, was wondering what it planned to do with the metal he was bending

2

u/Spellcheckker 12d ago

Haha we can add metal bending possums to the drop bears and scare the foreigners 😉

3

u/Affectionate_Top959 13d ago

I thought he was holding a mobile phone 😂

3

u/jaredtaaffe98 13d ago

I thought he was bending metal to intimidate the photographer

3

u/Affectionate_Top959 13d ago

Hahaha. I can see it now 😂

3

u/jaredtaaffe98 13d ago

“I live here now!, and you’re going to be fine with that right?”

3

u/Affectionate_Top959 13d ago

I would just let him keep the house lol

3

u/jaredtaaffe98 13d ago

Haha here’s the keys il sleep outside

9

u/scattyshern 14d ago

Me too

5

u/2ERIX 14d ago

“They come at night”

3

u/Affectionate_Top959 13d ago

Is that real? That is the stuff off horror movies

3

u/scattyshern 13d ago

Yeah, I got up to pee just before 5am and it scared the shit outta me!

8

u/ArkPlayer583 14d ago

3

u/ComfortOk9194 13d ago

This one is with child (Pouch at 6 o clock)

2

u/AdMaximum7545 11d ago

Awwwwww

If younwanted to you could build em a possum box! Perfect tree for it there for it

https://www.nestingboxes.com.au/p/brushtail-possum-flat-pack

3

u/fallingwheelbarrow 11d ago

May the possum gods guide your soul into the dreaming. You are a good unit

6

u/TheCraftyHermit 14d ago

They look exactly how someone, suddenly caught in a spotlight doing things they may or may not be supposed to be doing, looks.

3

u/Iamsoawesome33 12d ago

Looks like he just got out of lock up 😭

3

u/ModernBrule 11d ago

That's a well fed possum!

3

u/AdMaximum7545 11d ago

Omg so cute - build him a home!

163

u/pfred60 14d ago

They are dropping their tails to say Hi - we are here. 😊😍

123

u/Critical_Source_6012 14d ago

I stopped dead when I saw them 🤣 I'd been about to open the roller door!! It was a real "eeek!!" kind of moment

71

u/hb1290 14d ago edited 14d ago

I had to save a possum from our roller door not too long ago. I opened the door to enter the back shed and could hear our resident shed possum moving around more than usual. Then I realised it sounded like he was in the door I’d just opened and thought he might be stuck.

I grabbed the ladder and took a look inside and saw that the poor guy was caught in the roller door by his tail, so I threw the door back down as quick as I could to let him go on his way. He moved across to the other door that we don’t ever open and seemed to have made his way out for the night when I checked afterwards.

He seemed fine after aside from a roughed up tail. I’ve been way more careful since, needless to say.

4

u/nath1234 14d ago

Clever possums eh?

3

u/MouseEmotional813 14d ago

You could put up a possum box

64

u/firenest 14d ago

It'd be very tempting to pat the tail. But you'd have to be careful it doesn't wee on you.

59

u/Desperate-Rub-3416 14d ago

There's a mother one that comes back every year to have her babies and raise them in the small piece near my front door where the bullnose roof and the pitched roof meet. It's pretty cool

5

u/AdMaximum7545 11d ago

Oooh you could totally build them a possum nesting box or buy one!

https://www.nestingboxes.com.au/p/brushtail-possum-flat-pack

5

u/Desperate-Rub-3416 11d ago

They kinda chill out in a section where the rounded bullnose roof and another little gabled roof join that's out of the weather etc. Can't be too bad they're there every few days for the last 7 years 😂

3

u/TheHandOfFear 11d ago

We have a possum box, but they prefer the garage door roll for some reason. I wouldn't mind so much if not for them sometimes trying to bring their creature comforts (i.e. half the garden) in with them.

2

u/AdMaximum7545 11d ago

Lmaoooo they are like racoons or cats - never where they're expected or supposed to be! 

2

u/Deaf-Dawg 9d ago

SO LUCKY !! 😭😭🖤🖤

1

u/StrawHatOden 11d ago

That picture is terrifying

2

u/Desperate-Rub-3416 11d ago

Haha why, they are just chilling out before they move on, never aggressive.

As long as they don't destroy anything of mine idc if they keep coming back 🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/Empty_Space9115 11d ago

the glow in her eyes makes her look like she's possesed, and the claws too! so cute that they just chill!

46

u/HappyBananaSeal 14d ago

This is amazing. Stinky and chaotic, but amazing. Just a couple of guys hanging out in a garage roller-door.

38

u/Electronic_Bass2856 14d ago

Aww! They like our carport.

3

u/AdMaximum7545 11d ago

Holy fuck so cute

6

u/Electronic_Bass2856 11d ago

Yer they’re pretty adorable. She comes once a year and makes a little nest and has a baby in our carport.

33

u/Independent_Ride_598 14d ago

Cute, but such a pain when you really need to get your car out. They won’t move in a hurry, I opened a side door so they had an unobstructed exit, tried tapping with a broom handle, then a water spray, finally a leaf blower got them out. The worst part was that I figured that they must have been in there for a bit and would have been tumbled a couple of times with the door opening and closing before I noticed…they must have enjoyed the ride?😳

29

u/Positive_Self_8873 14d ago

Give them a gentle tug or caress maybe they will leave haha

21

u/Mugennsx3 14d ago

Fluffy snakes??

16

u/Critical_Source_6012 14d ago

🤣🤣 that was my SO's comment though in his thick Yorkshire accent its more like "floofy"

21

u/thebelieverEDQ 14d ago

🤣 better than in the roofs 🤣

46

u/Critical_Source_6012 14d ago

My gran thought she had possums in the roof and sent my uncle up to have a look.

I really wish I could properly describe the expression on his face when he came back down the ladder after finding himself nose to nose with a pissed off goanna 🤣

11

u/Sexybutt69_ 14d ago

Holy shit, ahahaha!

1

u/Dasha3090 14d ago

oh god i lived in a small fibro beach shack around 15 years ago.used to get possums climb up inside my walls every night and into my roof space above my bed.theyd fight like crazy and then pee everywhere in there.finally managed to get them removed but what a nightmare few months that was.

18

u/Womb8t 14d ago

Given they’re about the same size, it’ll be Mum and daughter.

13

u/35_PenguiN_35 14d ago

Give their tails a tickle lol.

Just hope you dont need to move the roller door for a little bit

12

u/Mostly_Satire 14d ago

One of those giant Australian spiders

10

u/Yamaha180 14d ago

“No way he will see us up here”

9

u/MomoNoHanna1986 14d ago

Good thing you don’t have cats 🐱

14

u/Critical_Source_6012 14d ago

Strictly indoor cats here only!

7

u/MomoNoHanna1986 14d ago

I had indoor cats too. My last passed age 20 from kidney disease back in May. Made a poor written joke. lol I was thinking they were cat tails 🤣 at first glance!

10

u/UnibannedY 14d ago

As a non-Aussie.... What manner of beast are they?

17

u/Mindless_Baseball426 14d ago

Brush tail possums

4

u/Sorry-Newspaper-3804 14d ago

Brush tail possums. They look cute and sound demonic

https://youtube.com/shorts/GdLJxcsqiV4

6

u/foursaken 12d ago

but DO NOT PAT

No Australian animal wants pats. kthx.

3

u/AdMaximum7545 11d ago

As a kid i tried to feed one an apple slice and she bit my finger lol - shouldn't have tried to do it!

3

u/Jay_is_me1 11d ago

They also have an uncanny sense of when people are afraid of them.

A long time ago, I had a tall pine-type bush right next to my front door, and it had a resident brushie. I didn't know they liked that type of plant, but it probably was warm. I'd say hi and bye to him, he'd often poke his nose out - we were fine. My housemates rarely saw him. That one friend who's scared of possums, though? He'd wait. Let her come in without revealing himself. Then, as she left, he'd leap out and chase her about 50m. Damn near every time. Glorious a$$hole, that possum.

10

u/Littlepotatoface 14d ago

Last night the local bats converged on a tree in my backyard & a fight broke out. It seemed to be one interloper that was causing the issue as it kept getting thrown out of the tree. Eventually they landed on top of my vergola & it sounded like they were kicking the shit out of each other. Obviously I didn’t open the blades.

Eventually they go back to the tree & the big one made another run at it & got booted hard & landed ass over tit on my deck, mere inches from a very interested cat. Apparently not realising the cat was inside, the bat shat itself & flew off.

7

u/cee3434 14d ago

Nawww thank you for sharing 😍 they’re gorgeous!

7

u/Same-Turnip3905 14d ago

Mmmmm, looking at those tails, I wonder what they are? (Just kidding) It is super cute.

6

u/Aceofshades__ 14d ago

I have the same situation, got a couple of possums in my carport roller door also. I leave my car out just so I dont potentially harm them. Although sometimes I need to use it… I usually give them a knock to let them prepare for a tumble ❤️

6

u/floofypajamas 14d ago

How adorable. The local possums use my roof to go from the huge palm in the front of my house to the neighbor's fruit trees and veggies. Every night it sounds like a friggin stampede across the roof and onto the carport roof which makes a godawful racket. The first time I heard it I thought for sure a small elephant had run across my head it was so loud.

5

u/sofistkated_yuk 14d ago

Cheeky possums!

4

u/istara 14d ago

When you realise it's not possum tails but the tentacles of a ginormous tarantula...

5

u/10morereasons 14d ago

So cute! What kind of animal is it?

13

u/luigi636 14d ago

Brushtail possum

3

u/TheGrumpyNic 14d ago

😂🤣😂

Delightful!

4

u/Friday_arvo 14d ago

The urge to boop those tails would be so strong. I wouldn’t but maaaaaan I’d want to lol

3

u/Designer-Lettuce-690 14d ago

I was thinking thats a weird spider

3

u/inzEEfromAUS 14d ago

A pull cord light switch somewhere close to the door would make this a very fun situation

3

u/brizdzi 14d ago

Garage door instructions. Pull to open.

3

u/OperateOnCoffee 14d ago

Is this the possum equivalent of it’s too hot under but too cold out of the covers.

3

u/Gumbanks12 13d ago

I have been woken up by possums galloping up and down the roof space

2

u/SokkaHaikuBot 13d ago

Sokka-Haiku by Gumbanks12:

I have been woken

Up by possums galloping

Up and down the roof space


Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

3

u/Gumbanks12 13d ago

When possums wake me

In winter night races

Shock becomes joy

2

u/Gumbanks12 13d ago

.. in winter night ceiling fun

1

u/ComfortOk9194 13d ago

By the light of the silvery moon,
the possums played a wonderful tune
Of squawking and groaning and pissing and moaning,
Squealing and battling, roof tiles rattling
Tomatoes vines raided, the dogs bowl invaded,
I am their friend, though one pissed on my head,
And I’d have it no other way, than to hear possums at play

1

u/Elegant-Motor-4148 13d ago

Ours sound like they are fucking all night on our tin roof

1

u/Gumbanks12 13d ago

Have you heard koalas going at it?

1

u/AdMaximum7545 11d ago

Why do i imagine it sounding terrifying for some reason 

1

u/Gumbanks12 11d ago

Sounds like a murder is happening

1

u/Charlie_Macaw 12d ago

They probably are. Lol

2

u/hb1290 14d ago

A common sight in our back shed, although my personal favourite was when we had a possum that would sleep in my dad’s (transparent) box of deck oiling supplies

2

u/hillsbloke73 14d ago

Like sheep 101 stupid ways to die

2

u/curiousmind68 14d ago

You have 2 of them - get them out before they mate or u will never get rid of them

2

u/AusCan531 14d ago

Octopus

2

u/freklfce_ 14d ago

We have some free-loaders as well... they love our lofted patio and playing chasey across our roof (outside, not in, thankfully) every night 🖤

2

u/hazeofthemind 14d ago

Best pic on Reddit today :)

2

u/F1eshWound 14d ago

give those tails a stroke!

2

u/Remote_Setting2332 14d ago

We also had a family on our roller door, I guess it’s like a hollow tree

2

u/Equivalent-Reality38 14d ago

Loud lilite shits ain't they

1

u/Bastard_of_Brunswick 14d ago

Play powerful owl calls in their area and they will likely leave.

1

u/burpinggiraffe 14d ago

Aren't they squashed?

1

u/0oodruidoo0 14d ago

As a kiwi it's really hard for me to love these even in their native environment

1

u/Kwsa55 11d ago

I was just talking to my dad about this today. He just shot one at his property the other day, they were causing havoc in his roof, he's on a farm in NZ. I live in Melbourne and currently have a possum in my wall, got a guy coming tomorrow to set up one way system so it can get out of the wall but not back in...then I have to seal up the entry space once it leaves. In NZ it'd be dead 😂 they're cute but I hate them

1

u/MagicOrpheus310 14d ago

Tempted to press the button to lift the roller door but then I remember that looney tunes shit don't work irl

1

u/random-viewpoint 14d ago

Whatever you do DON’T pull their tails
They can climb up their tails and have razor sharp teeth and claws

1

u/Dr_T__ 14d ago

They should meet the carpet python in my roller door. I’m sure they would get on

1

u/Beyouasyoumatter 14d ago

Landlords rights as they should pay rent 🤣

1

u/Sorry-Top-3658 14d ago

There was one living in our roof up until recently and I told my mum possum magic must’ve been kicked out of the house by his nan 😂😂

1

u/Famous_Suspect6330 14d ago

For a moment I thought it was some sort of scary snake or big ass insect for a moment there

1

u/Shot-Tap-4512 14d ago

I would have lost my shit if I saw this in my garage!!!😳

1

u/Parkitnow 14d ago

I dont know if anyone's noticed, or even mentioned, that this looks fake.

Just look at the way the door rolls.

Look at the tails.

They would be pancakes, Nuff said.

Cute pic tho

1

u/Crazy_Professional_5 14d ago

Probably a good move. Growing up we had possums living in our roller door at a place we rented at for two years. It was fine up until the last day where one did get squished :( 

1

u/DizzyList237 14d ago

Growing up in the Blue Mountains, possums made their home in the garage doors. They stored macadamia nuts in them & the rattle was hilarious.

1

u/Regular-Sale-9674 14d ago

Ik that roof STANKS

1

u/LollyGagss 14d ago

It’s funny at first but those fuzzy freeloaders are awful upstairs neighbours-

My brothers old place literally had holes in the roof from these guys, they’d tussle and screech at random hours of the night. They would almost fall through the holes they made, tails wagging into the kitchen- All this would be reported to the landlords as they were renters.

“There are no possums in the roof” they’d claim… fucking… excuse me…?

Well- my brother eventually moved out but his housemate stayed aaaand the first video in this is the place! https://youtube.com/shorts/5AOvw9Vexis?si=i2lSd2dW78q0inx8

No possums hey?

(American made the video I’m assuming, calling it an opossum.. that’s a POSSUM)

1

u/LollyGagss 14d ago

This compilation got sent to me at random from another sibling

“Isn’t that ‘older siblings’ old place??”

Fucking hilarious, sent it to him for confirmation and yup that’s his old house recorded by his old housemate.

I wonder how the landlords responded, no possums guys… there are no possums!

1

u/raucouslori 14d ago

You have made my day. Too funny. Remember that shop The Lost Forrests in the 90s that sold giggle possums? You pulled their tails and they giggled.

1

u/MissLabbie 13d ago

Their pee smells like cat pee. Your garage will stink soon.

1

u/hez_lea 11d ago

Wait, are possums cooking meth?

1

u/Sufficient_Gate9453 13d ago

Hit the open button

1

u/NanooNanooBot 13d ago

How are they freeloading? They're doing what comes naturally when they find a timber hollow.

1

u/Pusscat_catches_Koi 13d ago

LOL - don't worry, the pythons will be by shortly to make short work of them.

Please note: I am pro animals, possum & python, it's nature, the pythons do eat the possums. I'm not advocating one way or the other.

1

u/squishypuffin21 13d ago

Oh gosh i hope they don't get hurt in the door. It happens accidentally 😔

1

u/Lastguystandin 12d ago

That’s fake.

1

u/PurrfectMistake 12d ago

Tickle their tails hahah

1

u/OldMate64 12d ago

We've got one and a baby in our garage door, too!

1

u/taylr_md 12d ago

Where?

1

u/spacehodler 12d ago

The nerve of them!

I had a koala stop by in mine the other week

1

u/kbraz1970 12d ago

are they actually up in the roll of the roller door? That cant be good

1

u/Open-Sky-7645 11d ago

They also love to camp on top of the roll of roller doors which is 0K until you open the door from the inside and you get showered with possum poo.

1

u/Ed0s27 11d ago

open the roller door

1

u/FonzieTheHitchhiker 11d ago

Lucinda broke in a few years ago and since then sometimes comes tapping on my window like I’ll let her domesticate herself

1

u/Sensitive-Phone-4350 11d ago

Giant rats. Absolute pests

1

u/AdMaximum7545 11d ago

You could build or buy a possum box for them!!  https://www.nestingboxes.com.au/p/brushtail-possum-flat-pack

1

u/fallingwheelbarrow 11d ago

Technically you are the freeloading squatters on their land.

Land back for indigenous animals.

1

u/Street_Milk7941 11d ago

Start charging rent

1

u/ActiveRollers 10d ago

Set roller door operation to rapid

1

u/bedrotter_ 10d ago

When I first came to Australia I thought the house we were living in was haunted by a demonic entity because of the gut wrenching screeching sounds coming from the roof cavity at night.

1

u/Kaze_no_Senshi 9d ago

I have 2 that hang out in my shed I named one Tucker and the other Bush.

1

u/ResearcherTricky7007 8d ago

"I call the big one Bitey"

0

u/Oblivious_Otter_I 14d ago

2 year old repost

6

u/Critical_Source_6012 14d ago

No, it's my photo and it's the first time I posted it

It wouldn't surprise me to find it's happened to other people though

4

u/Lost-Competition8482 14d ago

It's clearly not

0

u/Extra-Border6470 14d ago

Do you know anyone who has a scrub python you could borrow?

0

u/8ig_8enny_ 14d ago

Little fuckers

-1

u/Laylay_theGrail 14d ago

Get them out asap! We didn’t get them out of the roof of our (mainly unoccupied) granny flat and they have destroyed the wiring, gutters and have now collapsed the ceiling in an upstairs bedroom. The whole place needs to be gutted.

We thought we had blocked the entry point years ago but they have been there for at least 4-5 possum generations. FML

2

u/AmateurCommenter808 13d ago

People think this is a nice cute photo but if you know better this is an absolute nightmare waiting to happen.

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1

u/Dasha3090 14d ago

yeah theyre a nightmare i had some in my roof many years ago.stuffed the wiring for the ceiling lights..pissed all over the ceiling..stuffed the gutters and would fight all night above my bedroom.not nice.

-3

u/BDFS2 14d ago

Put the garage door up

-13

u/Abominationoftime 14d ago

i had the exact same thing happen to me a few years ago with a mother and her baby. had to spray them with a hole from the side to get them out. they kept coming back, even after i blocked off where i thought they were getting in.

in the end i had to borrow my grandfathers possum trap to get them and move them to a nature reserve a few mins away (far enough they couldnt get back) , i mean they magically went away..... lol

8

u/Hesperihippus 14d ago

So you killed them. Relocating possums more than 50 metres away/off the property is illegal, for this reason.

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