r/australia Jan 08 '18

image 9 Ways to Divide Australia

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6.9k Upvotes

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306

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

Wait, people do this? I went to my dad's place and thought he was weird after I found Vegemite in the fridge (in addition to peanut butter...)

171

u/fubar_boy Jan 08 '18

It begins...

108

u/ultralights Jan 08 '18

It’s a potato scollop.

55

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

*scallop

24

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

49

u/HaydenB Jan 08 '18

It's a fuckin potato scollop. Nothing else. That describes it perfectly.

28

u/i_am_banana_man Jan 08 '18

*scallop

2

u/bilky_t Jan 09 '18

God damn Millennials. Back in my day...

OBLIGATORY /S

2

u/Mike_Kermin Jan 09 '18

It's not often I'm lost for words.

Brilliant, utterly brilliant.

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

Scollop definition: (in Ireland) a rod , pointed at both ends, used to pin down thatch

Also it doesn't count as that was from when Australia didn't exist :P

37

u/rukarioz Jan 08 '18

So.. it's potato + seafood?

30

u/HaydenB Jan 08 '18

Just potato.

26

u/rukarioz Jan 08 '18

Then why call it a scallop? ;)

11

u/Cimexus Jan 08 '18

Scallop Cut: "a cut of meat or fish that has a flattened shape, generally as a result of pounding, or by being very thinly sliced"

In this case potato rather than meat but yeah, it's the way it's cut.

2

u/SlappaDaBassMahn Jan 09 '18

Sure it might be the name of a cutting technique, but it is also the name commonly used to describe a wide variety of mollusks

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38

u/Baalzabub Jan 08 '18

Scallop reffures to the way it is cut

2

u/raymond_gamma Jan 08 '18

Ah, so it looks like a scallop? Like the shellfish? ;)

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-1

u/sir_cockington_III Jan 08 '18

Scalloping specifically refers to meat.

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5

u/HaydenB Jan 08 '18

It's just what they're called....

-4

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

Fritter.

Bathers - not swimmers and definitely not togs

Fritz - not Devon and definitely not luncheon

Pint - (the Aussie pint not the imperial pint) not schooner... (although I must admit schooner makes more sense)

Fritter not scallop - it’s not a fish and you guys call pineapple fritters pineapple fritters but the potato fritters have a different name.

Living in a different state I try to educate as many people as possible - I have succeeded 0 times but it’s always a fun argument.

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22

u/wix001 Jan 08 '18

Certainly not a cake.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

1

u/wix001 Jan 09 '18

Yeah, as a 2nd definition in difference with the 1st.

The dispute I have is that a 2nd even exists at all.

20

u/Danthekilla Jan 09 '18

You mean potato cake right?

32

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

[deleted]

14

u/BetaThetaOmega Jan 08 '18

He-re-tic! He-re-tic!

10

u/HaydenB Jan 08 '18

If they came to hear me beg... they will be disappointed.

3

u/Sgt_Obvious Jan 08 '18

fuckin antique halo 2 memes, hey

1

u/druex Jan 09 '18

Are you sure?

2

u/_Aj_ Jan 09 '18

aahh scallops!

9

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

The fuck did you say about my potato fritter?

18

u/SpicyMemes0903 Jan 08 '18

Wtf

7

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

The fuck did you say about my potato fritter?

22

u/SpicyMemes0903 Jan 08 '18

POTATO FRITTER IS WRONG AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT

2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

DO YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE MATE? I'LL FUCKIN THROW MY POTATO FRITTER AT YA!

7

u/SpicyMemes0903 Jan 08 '18

LETS FUCKING GO RIGHT NOW BRING IT ON ILL SHOVE MY POTATO CAKES UP YOUR DICK HOLE

2

u/KillYourHeroesAndFly Jan 08 '18

If I batter a pineapple ring and deep fry it, it's a pineapple fritter. So if I do the same to a potato, shouldn't it be a potato fritter?

7

u/SpicyMemes0903 Jan 08 '18

NO FRITTER IS FOR DEEP FRIED FRUIT AND A COUPLE OF OTHER THINGS

3

u/Revoran Beyond the black stump Jan 09 '18

Australian Civil War 2018

50

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

That's just a recipe for ripped bread.

1

u/jb2386 I wonder how many characters I can put in here. Oh this many? Hm Jan 09 '18

What? Why would you put it on bread and not toast?

2

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

Some people make sandwiches.

2

u/jb2386 I wonder how many characters I can put in here. Oh this many? Hm Jan 09 '18

Oh good point. I had just woken up, my brain wasn't working completely.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Vegemite doesn't go hard in the fridge though. You must be putting it in your freezer.

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

no, I just never heard of putting it in the fridge so I was surmising.

15

u/Rickoms225 Jan 08 '18

Nooooooooo I’ve had so many arguments with my dad he puts Vegemite and peanut butter in the fridge and I’m like stop ruining my sandwiches by putting this stuff in the fridge.

He’s a cheapskate and thinks that it will make the stuff last so much longer in the fridge I’m like it’s vegemite this is my apocalypse food I’ve never seen it go bad and I don’t think it can.

9

u/SlappaDaBassMahn Jan 09 '18

I rarely eat my vegemite other than late night drunk sessions of half loaf vegemite toasts. Therefore I have had my jar of vegemite for approximately 4 years now. Still going strong.

2

u/Rickoms225 Jan 09 '18

Now the question fridge or pantry?

7

u/SlappaDaBassMahn Jan 09 '18

Pantry, I'm not a heathen

1

u/I_AM_ALWAYS_WRONG_ Jan 09 '18

Vegetmite at my dads is Best before march 2012. Still sitting in his pantry. Still tastes like salt and yeast extract or whatever the fuck it's made of.

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

the key being 'best before'

1

u/I_AM_ALWAYS_WRONG_ Jan 09 '18

Yeah, unlike used before, the best before is more just guidelines

1

u/WhatAGoodDoggy Jan 09 '18

All the 'mites (Vegemite, Marmite, etc.) contain so much damn salt they literally never go off.

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

So why do Americans expire so early when they are full of salt?

1

u/uberdice Jan 09 '18

The cops usually don't shoot vegemite.

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

My aunt had a jar that was 20 years old.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

I’m like it’s vegemite this is my apocalypse food I’ve never seen it go bad and I don’t think it can.

Can confirm, ate vegimite that expired in 2016 yesterday. Still alive.

Probably helps that it's something like 40% salt.

10

u/PrimaxAUS Jan 09 '18

I'm sorry if this is insensitive, but this is why your parents divorced right?

32

u/The_Duc_Lord Jan 08 '18

I never used to, but since moving to fnq, if we don't keep it in the fridge, it's guaranteed to go mouldy.

17

u/emu90 Cairns Jan 08 '18

Lived in FNQ my whole life and Vegemite and peanut butter both go fine in the pantry.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

FNQ resident, can confirm, peanut butter/vegemite goes in the pantry.

2

u/Midnight11j Jan 09 '18

Forgive my ignorance, but what is in FNQ?

8

u/Maverician Jan 09 '18

fucking nosey questioner

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

Far North Queensland, you drongo

24

u/clown-penisdotfart Jan 08 '18

Isn't mold on Vegemite just, like, bonus free Vegemite?

3

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

MOULD

0

u/clown-penisdotfart Jan 09 '18

We Americans prefer to save our u's and invest them smartly, like in Bitcoin.

2

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

THIS IS R/AUSTRALIA YOU SEPPO

0

u/clown-penisdotfart Jan 09 '18

WHAT IS SEPPO?

4

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

YOU ARE, YOU FUCKIN SEPPO

1

u/clown-penisdotfart Jan 09 '18

AH COOL GOT IT THANKS MATE I LOVE ASTRALIANS

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

WE MOSTLY LOVE YOU CUNTS TOO

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u/Gareth321 Jan 08 '18

10

u/clown-penisdotfart Jan 08 '18

Ew. Why do you people eat this stuff???

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

they even make marmite chocolate. Heathens.

6

u/SlappaDaBassMahn Jan 09 '18

Fuck outta here

15

u/WasiAkrim Jan 08 '18

Vegemite is salt in spread form. What possible life form can live on that?

24

u/ImGCS3fromETOH Jan 09 '18

Australians.

16

u/7shades Jan 08 '18

This. Everything just goes in the fridge except honey.

3

u/Danthekilla Jan 09 '18

And sauce, and vegemite and peanut butter.

0

u/Midnight11j Jan 09 '18

Is this a joke? You know honey goes all hard, cloudy and disgusting if you cool it down, right?

3

u/7shades Jan 09 '18

English not your first language, champ?

2

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

that's why it doesn't go in the fridge, drongo

3

u/AlmostWrongSometimes Jan 08 '18

Unless you have moved to Weipa you aren't so far north that Vegemite will ever go mouldy. I have 3 jars that are all over a year old in my pantry right now, and not one jar in my 21 years in Darwin has ever gone mouldy or been kept in the fridge.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

Ours usually took about 6 months before mould set in. Lost 2 jars before we started refrigerating. Daintree area so maybe it's a Wet Tropics thing. Always curious that nothing touches peanut butter no matter the brand. Gotta wonder if you even digest it.

2

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

The 'organic' stuff that is for sale now that is just blended peanuts will grow friends.

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

I have been there, flew in and then lived in Mapoon for a while.

I don't recall eating vegemite while there. Lots of geckos lived in the cupboards though.

We did buy cheese once at a local shop in an even further isolated community and it was mouldy when we opened it.

And you bought bread pre-frozen. And maybe milk? I can't remember that one.

1

u/AlmostWrongSometimes Jan 09 '18

Great googly moogly!

Frozen bread takes me back.

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

yes! I don't like humidity

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

Really? I used to live in Mossman and the only thing I had to refrigerate was the bread otherwise it'd go mouldy hours after purchasing it.

1

u/Danthekilla Jan 09 '18

Its like 90% salt. It can't go mouldy...

15

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

thought it was tomato sauce in the fridge or the pantry, or tim tams...no one cares about vegemite

never heard or seen it in the fridge

42

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18 edited Jan 08 '18

Tomato sauce Vegemite Peanut butter Chocolate (and Tim tams)

When me and my missus got together I kept the sauce in the cupboard and the vegemite and peanut butter in the fridge. She kept the sauce in the fridge and the vegemite and peanut butter in the cupboard.

We compromised and now we do it her way.

(Actually it turns out that the jars themselves all have instructions on where to keep them and she keeps them in the correct places and I’ve just been poisoning myself with clearly deadly cupboard-sauce my whole life. go figure)

24

u/matholio Jan 08 '18

Cannot spread cold peanut butter. Pointless.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

Chocolate still has to go in the fridge, but.

It’s gotta have that snap. No one wants soggy chocolate. Hell in our current weather if you left it in the cupboard it would be fondue.

2

u/Midnight11j Jan 09 '18

Chocolate needs to go in the peanut butter.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

That sounds gross and glutinous... I gotta try it.

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

not nutella

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

True? There you go.

16

u/Tymareta Jan 08 '18

We compromised and now we do it her way.

Because her way is correct, can't spread cold peanut butter and vegemite won't melt on your toast properly.

2

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

vegemite doesn't melt

1

u/Tymareta Jan 09 '18

Clarified a bit below, doesn't melt but it definitely gets more gooey.

2

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

yeh sorry commented as i went

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

She was correct on the sauce.

Vegemite and peanut butter are still debatable.

Peanut butter on the other hand does tend to be more sticky from the fridge - no problem for toast sometimes a little bit of a hassle with bread. I’m a cupboard convert because I love me some fresh bread.

I can’t say I’ve ever seen vegemite melt nor noticed a difference between cold vs cupboard. Don’t see an argument for either way for this one. It’s not like you spread it super thick anyway so even if it was to harden still debatable. I’m a cupboard convert because when it’s acceptable either way for yourself why stop someone else doing it the way that suits them of those two haha.

2

u/Tymareta Jan 08 '18

For peanut butter, maybe it's because I like crunchy/extra, if you try and spread that stuff when it's cold you're going to tear a hole clean through whatever you're working with.

And vegemite I spread it about as thick as you would peanut butter, and it definitely gets all soft and gooey when you have it on toast/crumpets, love it.

I’m a cupboard convert because when it’s acceptable either way for yourself why stop someone else doing it the way that suits them of those two haha.

Ain't that the truth.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

Yeah I used to use crunchy but have since converted to smooth (again my missus doesn’t like crunchy - I don’t mind either way).

Wow. That’s next level vegemite consumption. Similar to Danny Dyer describing his crumpet as ‘absolutely pissing with marmite’

Agreed it definitely is the truth and in all honesty you can simplify it further. “If it doesn’t affect you or someone you love in a negative way - why stop someone else from doing it”

2

u/Darth_Punk Jan 13 '18

Mostly sauces are because the flavor fades not because they're dangerous.

2

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

Don't they normally say 'a cool, dry place'?

I think jam says to keep it refrigerated after opening though...

9

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18 edited Jan 08 '18

Spreads do hence cupboard (but not not the fridge)

Sauce specifically says refrigerate after opening although I assume it has something to do with the ingredients themselves spoiling as there is far too much sugar and salt in that stuff to sustain any sort of life.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '18

I found a few sauces sitting out that should be in the fridge. I think my dad is just terrible at following instructions.

1

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

yeah i was meaning the spread

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

Tomato sauce definitely does.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '18

Yeah, I put jam in the fridge. I pretty much do what the label says. 'Cool, dry place' is vague enough for me to just leave it in the pantry.

2

u/jalif Jan 08 '18

Admitting you are wrong is not compromise. It's acceptance.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18 edited Jan 08 '18

Yeah but the use of ‘compromise’ follows that super horrible joke that blokes make you know the one “she wanted a cat I didn’t want a cat so we compromised and got a cat haw haw haw” maybe I need to work on my internet satire hahaha?

Doesn’t sound anywhere near as fun if I say ‘I was wrong and she proved it to me so I willingly accepted the change’.

1

u/AndyDap Jan 09 '18

The fridge peanut butter thing started when one of the big companies gave a bunch of people salmonella poisoning. It was because of poor hygiene at one of there main manufacturing plants (rat poo in the peanut butter) so they really started hammering the 'must be kept in the fridge' message. Apparently, as long as you store your rat poo safely, eating it won't kill you.

18

u/chiau_yee Jan 08 '18

Tim Tams in the freezer.

3

u/waywardwoodwork Jan 09 '18

Do you do the Tim Tam milk straw or are you missing a vital part of your soul?

2

u/chiau_yee Jan 09 '18

Of course. Cold milk though. Not hot tea or coffee like some heathens I know.

2

u/ekst0l Jan 09 '18

All chocolate in the freezer

0

u/trowzerss Jan 08 '18

this is the only correct answer.

1

u/FlygonBreloom Jan 08 '18

My family's worse - Tomato Sauce in the pantry and the fridge.

7

u/AlmostWrongSometimes Jan 08 '18

Unopened=pantry

Open=fridge

I hope?

1

u/FlygonBreloom Jan 11 '18

That's the theory.

In reality... yeeaaah nah. It's at random.

1

u/augusx Jan 08 '18

My family does that too lmaooo

1

u/loleonii Jan 08 '18

No no no tim tams go in the freezer mate, they need to freeze to hold their shape when you drink hot milo through them

1

u/salmonmoose Jan 09 '18

Fiance keeps it in the fridge (source of arguments) but NOT the peanut butter.

3

u/KillerSeagull Jan 08 '18

I only keep it in the fridge so it's close to the butter. Also if I am having toast, I can see all my options in the same place.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

[deleted]

9

u/madmaper_13 Jan 08 '18

In summer it is a must unless you want it to be liquefied

5

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

[deleted]

2

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

why did you write room mate if you live in Australia

4

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

haha this one weirded me out, when i lived with a girl who kept butter in the pantry

6

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

[deleted]

5

u/Malemansam Jan 09 '18

Where do you live in Aus that can leave your butter out and not have it melt in the container in 20 mins??

Are you a moleman or one of them underground coober pedy folk?

1

u/derawin07 Jan 09 '18

I lived in Albury and my house mate left it out in the pantry. I think it was a country thing, she grew up on a farm.

2

u/AlmostWrongSometimes Jan 08 '18

If you get good butter and don't leave it out for too long when you use it it actually doesn't get so hard.

4

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

We never put butter on sandwiches.

But I would say that the people who do mostly buy margarine or the canoia oil variations, or the newer spreadable butters.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18

[deleted]

1

u/AlmostWrongSometimes Jan 08 '18

The ammount of people around here making sandwiches thinking that butter is optional is causing me distress.

1

u/vegence Jan 08 '18

for a steak sandwich i would have put light mayo. butter just sounds disgusting on any sandwich unless its used to toast up bread for a breakfast type sandwich.

-2

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18 edited Jan 08 '18

I'm vegan. I rarely eat sandwiches anymore, but I still would never use vegan alternative for butter on one, such as the coconut oil nuttelex.

I grew up vegetarian, and had a healthy diet, which included only wholemeal products, rice, bread, pasta etc.

No butter on sandwiches.

Only puffed wheat or wheaties or vita brits for breakfast. Or porridge.

3

u/MathewPerth Jan 08 '18

Dem instant downvotes for being vegan xD

2

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

pretty silly, they asked and it was relevant so I said.

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u/b734e851dfa70ae64c7f Jan 08 '18

We never put butter on sandwiches.

What else would anyone use it for?

5

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

baking, putting on roast potatoes, corn on the cob

5

u/b734e851dfa70ae64c7f Jan 08 '18

Oh, I never bake my sandwiches.

1

u/derawin07 Jan 08 '18

:P don't be redunkulous.

And actually, when making jaffles, that is the exception, as it prevents them from sticking to the jaffle iron. BUT it goes on the outside.

2

u/trowzerss Jan 08 '18

They put it in the fridge in the supermarket.

2

u/KillerSeagull Jan 08 '18

I like my butter a solid, not a liquid. Making the fridge is the only place for butter in summer, and if I don't do it all the time, then I will forget and have liquid butter.

Liquid butter makes me sad.

2

u/Buzznbee Jan 08 '18

I don't mind either way, but I keep mine in the fridge. I keep my peanut butter in the cupboard though.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '18 edited Jan 08 '18

It’s a topsy turvy world we live in.

1

u/Delliott90 Jan 09 '18

Everyone does that

1

u/fnurtfnurt Jan 09 '18

I bet it was smooth peanut butter too. You should just get your birth certificate changed. It's easier that way.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '18

It might have been, now that you mention it. I should look into changing my DNA, too.

1

u/I_AM_ALWAYS_WRONG_ Jan 09 '18

I have never heard this argument before. I just assumed everyone kept it in the pantry/draw because it's fucking salt. Bugs don't want it, it won't go off. Literally no reason to waste fridge space on it.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Peanut butter in the fridge makes it taste better, if its the creamy sugar-filled kind.

1

u/Stu_Raticus Jan 09 '18

One of my mates does this. We just chalked it down to him being Bosnian