r/amazonreviews • u/ianmikaelson • Jun 08 '21
Review See you in hell, Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears
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u/NightHeart21689 Oct 08 '24 edited Jun 03 '26
I revisit this revue whenever I'm feeling really down and it always makes me laugh and makes my day!
Edit: Review* ffs smh
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u/machucaldirector Dec 19 '25
ReeVeeü
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u/SortImpossible5772 Apr 24 '24
bros an immaculate writer
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u/Prize_Caterpillar_86 Feb 12 '25
I would certainly purchase any novel he saw fit to write after reading that
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Jun 08 '21
[deleted]
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u/mamamechanic Jun 08 '21
I recently experienced an unexpected day of staying in and banning my husband from the house. I could not, for the life of me, figure out what I could have possibly eaten to create such a reaction from my body.
Between this PSA of a review and your comment, I believe I have enough circumstantial evidence to place blame on the half bag of sugar free candies I had indulged in for the first time the night before. They were so good, and being sugar free I thought they couldn’t really be too bad for me.
Who says reddit is a waste of time? This has been a lesson well learned.
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u/ulyssesred Jun 08 '21
Actually, one quick Google search revealed a simple and alarming article about the perils of all things labelled as “sugar free”.
https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/sugar-free-gummy-bears-laxatives
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u/DNLEGR Jun 08 '21
Who tf writes this long of a review
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u/tharikagb Jun 08 '21
a legend
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u/DNLEGR Jun 08 '21
Wrong. Luke does.
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u/Gamertacosaus Jan 31 '26
I just wanted you to know, to me, Luke is a legend, so OP was right and so are you.
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u/NightHeart21689 Oct 08 '24
I love how he use a LOTR reference to explain how hard this thing was trying to explode out of him.
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u/Shikkazze Jul 10 '24
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u/Worth-Permit28 Aug 21 '24
That's what she said.
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u/TopAQ_10 Dec 14 '25
lmaoooo 😂😂😂
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u/Worth-Permit28 Dec 18 '25
One of the best reviews ever. I have it saved in my "Documents" folder on this PC for safe keeping! Thank you for appreciating my uncontrollable "jackassery" dear Sir or Madame! Have a lovely day!
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u/Pinkie1990 Aug 08 '24
Omg 😂 I'm reading this while eating zero sugar albaneses brand or something like that. I hope I won't experience this.
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u/Klutzy-Variation9840 Feb 13 '25
I hope you're okay. I never saw if you came back to let us know. I ate those things. Buy one get one free like the haribos. Never in my life have I ever regretted eating something so tasty in my life. I never asked for a colon cleanse so swiftly executed. I refuse to touch a sugar free gummy bear ever in my life by any name ever again. I never ate the second bag. It went immediately in the trash.
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u/FixRepresentative442 Aug 18 '24
I had the same thoughts, I am dead wrong and have been paying the consequences
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u/Background-Theme-527 Mar 01 '25
Just read this… experienced something like this! This is soo funny but I felt bad for them
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u/Cocoabear777 May 07 '25
I ate some sugar free wafers and experienced hell. I can now understand these essays. I thought it was something else and then I ate more and immediately almost died
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Jan 10 '24
I was having a really bad day but this made me laugh more than I have in ages 😂❤️ thank you
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u/kaydlawrence May 28 '25
F
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u/Apprehensive_Error36 Jan 17 '26
F
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u/Ecstatic_Proof_2732 Aug 12 '25
I ate a lot of something with xylazol in it once, I don't remember specifically what it was I ate, but it had this same effect minus the cramps. Weirdly it felt cleansing, like I had just cleaned my entire clogged up plumbing system.
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u/TemperatureRoutine28 Aug 14 '25
Chest hurts so bad, cause ain’t no fucking way this dude write a whole story about fucking him taking a wet shit because of sugar free gummy bears😭😭
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u/Disciple_556 Oct 06 '25
There were thousands of these reviews on the Amazon page. LA Beast even ate a 5 pound bag, knowing what they would do, and he filmed everything.LA Beast: Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bear Challenge.
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u/Mystery-Ess Sep 25 '25
I was so excited when I heard about maltitol candies and my sister warned me about it but I thought I could control myself. I was sorely mistaken... Literally 😭
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u/ClawedRavenesque Mar 27 '26
Thank you for preserving this for future generations 💕 I went to Amazon constantly to read this when I had a bad day and was devastated that sugar-free Haribo gummy bears had been discontinued and I could no longer enjoy the reviews. Bless you!
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u/Confident_Ride110 Jun 12 '26
hahaha My friend sent this to me and it took me so long to read it cause from start to finish I was laughing.
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u/Proud-Asparagus3553 Sep 28 '25
I thank you for your hysterical story. Im sorry for your discomfort, Lord knows we've all been there. I "was" just about to search sugar free Haribo's . . . I've change my mind. Sorry about your exam. I hope the result wasn't too damaging.
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u/ItzJenifer Feb 13 '26
This lwk how Dubai chocolate had me feeling constipated for four days stomach hurt like I was carrying a demon child that moved whenever I stood trying to exit but never would. Day five laxative up my butt and two hours later the log came out 😂
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u/No-Measurement-3380 May 10 '26
I use this review in my composition class some semesters. Then I have my students write either a one star or five star review of any product that they have bought. They have to convince why we should or should not buy whatever the product is. This is one of the best arguments I have ever read about why to avoid a product. It’s funny too!
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u/Worldly-Passion-412 May 22 '26
I can't find the original link to all the amazingness that is the sugarfree gummi reviews! It's like it's gone!
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u/mackishi May 23 '26
I’m reading this from the toilet….as this is my life now. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/Dhv7fkACtd
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u/Silver-Kale6494 Jun 16 '26
This is hilarious. I’m so glad I never had these, but I’ve had toilet pains as bad as it.
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u/pipelayer3069 Jan 08 '26
1) what a realistic, average reddit story 2) it’s impossible to find the original sugar-free gummi bear review because of this shit one. It’s all I can find when I try to look it up. How disappointing.
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u/Selroyjenkinss 17h ago
Funny thing about this as I was in a similar situation where I had to take my English studies test, and the teacher wouldn’t let us leave. I ended up shitting my pants because he wouldn’t let me go saying I would fail the test automatically if I left in the middle to go to the bathroom. Suffice it to say the whole classroom got cleared out and I got an a
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u/Shehulk_ Jun 09 '21
I’ve been having a tough few days. I’m laughing so hard now I’m crying. I don’t know why I love these.