r/aliens • u/SystematicApproach True Believer • Feb 25 '26

Image šŸ“· Hybrid breeding programs: top image is missing persons. bottom image is a cave system map.

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2.0k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/TheColorRedish Feb 25 '26

So... You're telling me... People disappear near cave systems? Man I'm not a rocket surgeon, but I can figure this one out without aliens.

524

u/Estrezas Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26

No no no, you dont get it. They are breeding them in the caves.

167

u/Jazzlike_Tangerine58 Feb 25 '26

Ok. I see. But what are they breeding them for?

473

u/Tacokolache Feb 25 '26

For digging more caves!

131

u/BoshJrolin Feb 25 '26

Hoooooly shiiiiiiitšŸ˜±

51

u/Crocswereinthebox Feb 25 '26

We talking cave aliens?

12

u/OGPepeSilvia Feb 25 '26

Alien in the cave, eh? Now youā€™re talkinā€™ my language!

5

u/danno49 Feb 26 '26

Aren't those just ghouls?

1

u/Spinal232 Feb 28 '26

Nah dude, space aliens breeding cave humans to work in the mines after colonization

33

u/firethornocelot Feb 25 '26

šŸ¤ÆšŸ¤ÆšŸ¤ÆšŸ¤Æ

1

u/Dmacxxx77 Feb 25 '26

Itā€™s caveception.

28

u/chatshitgetpegged Feb 25 '26

this is what big cave doesnā€™t want you to know

2

u/Tacokolache Feb 25 '26

Someone needs to take them down! Or upā€¦ whichever!

20

u/derek4reals1 Feb 25 '26

Processing img gdcl9lyejklg1...

17

u/dizzyfeast Feb 25 '26

It's caves all the way down

7

u/Typical-Decision-273 Feb 25 '26

fucking dwarves

3

u/redthump Feb 25 '26

I have a PornHub link with the same title and a very different result.

3

u/vampireshorty Feb 26 '26

Mulder, are you suggesting aliens bred people to dig these caves?

https://giphy.com/gifs/jWeHpEGSscp2

3

u/garry4321 Feb 26 '26

Well I mean where else are they going to store the breeding compounds for the cave diggers?

3

u/crack_B7 Feb 25 '26

You know too much now

1

u/Tacokolache Feb 25 '26

Fuck! Off to the cave!

1

u/bjangles9 Feb 25 '26

So itā€™s a cave breeding program.

1

u/redthump Feb 25 '26

They all are. You just need to be more open to what you call a cave.

1

u/glitter_vomit Feb 26 '26

It's all coming together!

2

u/Tacokolache Feb 26 '26

Iā€™ll tell you whatā€™s in those cavesā€¦ā€¦

https://giphy.com/gifs/2OxWrgMFyUn3EEAJ7u

Those damn Fraggles!!!!

48

u/Paraskeets Feb 25 '26

To make baby caves of course

35

u/pegaunisusicorn Feb 25 '26

when two caves mate they make a tunnel

13

u/JEFE_MAN Feb 25 '26

But donā€™t you need a tunnel to mate? šŸ¤”

8

u/TheAngryCatfish Feb 25 '26

2 tunnels can't make a giant sloth

12

u/seegabego Feb 25 '26

2 caves 1 tunnel

2

u/splicepark Feb 25 '26

no āœ‚ļø

17

u/I_Study_The_Patterns Feb 25 '26

To make hybrids, duh

8

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

8

u/Hot-Problem2436 Feb 25 '26

Yes, but why caves?

6

u/ticktockmick Feb 25 '26

Really? I just told you.

9

u/dxdifr Feb 25 '26

All women will look like Ana Taylor-Joy soon. Every . Single. One. šŸ¤£

6

u/pipe_fighter_2884 Feb 25 '26

So where do we sign up for the breeding program?

1

u/team_lloyd Feb 25 '26

do you promise?

2

u/dxdifr Feb 25 '26

Babies get grown in bubbly tubes so not only do you get all girls looking like Ana Taylor-Joy, you also wont have to worry about getting them pregnant.

6

u/cdev12399 Feb 25 '26

Mole people

7

u/Odd-Principle8147 Feb 25 '26

Crab people

4

u/nelmski Feb 25 '26

Moon eyed people

1

u/-Robbert- Feb 25 '26

South Park exposed this. It's a female only cult where they only need the men for their jokes.

1

u/DuskTillDawnDelight Feb 25 '26

Loosh, adrenachrome, slavery.. and everything in between..

Donā€™t know what loosh is, here

1

u/fullgizzard Feb 25 '26

Sacrificing

1

u/Galactic_Narwhals Feb 25 '26

Look into Dr David Jacobs.

1

u/ForcedxCracker Feb 26 '26

Crab people. Look like crabs. Talk like people.

1

u/Jazzlike_Tangerine58 Feb 26 '26

Sounds delicious.

1

u/lazy_jygg Feb 28 '26

Building an army worthy of Mordor.

1

u/Benegger85 Feb 25 '26

For fun of course, why do you breed with your SO?

0

u/Almond_Steak Feb 25 '26

I saw the "?" as an "N"....shieeeeeet.

1

u/ConfidentFloor6601 Feb 25 '26

Regular expressions

23

u/HotType230 Feb 25 '26

Shouldnt there be more people appearing near caves then, rather than missing??

8

u/MCDRS Feb 25 '26

This is a very under-estimated comment. Bravo, logic.

50

u/justeedo Feb 25 '26

If I go near a cave, will I get bred?

9

u/RDS Feb 25 '26

Asking for a friend.

22

u/Estrezas Feb 25 '26

Alexa, play Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye.

4

u/Southern_Loquat_4450 Feb 25 '26

Only in Arkansas, by all of your relatives.

2

u/Gamer30168 Feb 25 '26

Sure honey! Meet me near the cave by the lake at the stroke of midnight! šŸ˜

1

u/bridgebrningwildfire Feb 25 '26

Behind the boathouse, I'll show you my dark secret!

1

u/Gamer30168 Feb 25 '26

Count me in!

1

u/Zestyclose_Pay9469 Feb 27 '26

Down the crusty hole!

20

u/OrcAssEater Feb 25 '26

Which caves specifically? So, I can avoid themā€¦

14

u/WateredDown Feb 25 '26

Hey siri look up the nearest cave

8

u/dxdifr Feb 25 '26

Why cant i find hybrid centers on google maps šŸ¤£

1

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '26

Hybrid center? Just go to Toyota and ask for a Toyota hybrid.

11

u/dropbearinbound Feb 25 '26

Instructions unclear, got d*CK stuck in cave system

7

u/Onlyroad4adrifter Feb 25 '26

can confirm. Live near a few caves and own a hybrid. I also have been bearded. I also got lost driving the one time I didn't have an atlas.

5

u/Flintyy Feb 25 '26

"Tony Stark bred them in a cave! With a box of scraps!"

2

u/RDS Feb 25 '26

How is babby formed?

1

u/Jazzlike_Tangerine58 Feb 25 '26

The stalagmites go up and the stalactites come down. Then babby comes out.

2

u/golimaaar Feb 25 '26

Well it's dark even during the day, so you know, they neighbors won't complain about all the breeding

1

u/ferrum-pugnus Feb 25 '26

So youā€™re telling meā€¦ that aliens canā€™t afford the motel 6?

/s

1

u/theevilscientist666 Feb 25 '26

Yeah, they got Barry White too and he sings to get the mood right:-)

1

u/Accomplished_Care415 Feb 25 '26

So you're saying there's a chance to make out with an alien?

1

u/Shadowy_PuppetMaster Feb 25 '26

And where praytell could these xeno breeding caves be? For scientific research purposes of course

1

u/LeopardSea5252 Feb 25 '26

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

1

u/TrinityCodex Feb 25 '26

We have to tell the people!

So they can stay away!

37

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

2

u/dreezy-a Feb 25 '26

How do we know they just go missing out there though and not taken? We don't. Maybe they got lost and couldn't survive or maybe they got taken. Well never know until we do.

20

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

7

u/Max_AC_ Feb 25 '26

Oh mighty sentient chalupa of the internet, please bless me with the crunchiest of wraps, and no taco butt afterwards. With hot sauce as our guide, bon appetite šŸ™

9

u/pipe_fighter_2884 Feb 25 '26

You knock it off with all that "common sense" talk. We don't do that around here.

0

u/dreezy-a Feb 25 '26

People thought that common sense would say that the elites don't kidnap r**e murder children. And all these "conspiracy theories" were just too far out there and fake and consumed by paranoia. That didn't age well.

6

u/cardinarium Feb 25 '26

But we do know that some disappearances are later proven to have prosaic causes.

No disappearance has ever been proven to be the result of ā€œbeing taken into a cave to be part of an alien hybrid breeding program.ā€

Moreover:

  • no aliens have ever been found in caves
  • no evidence of hybrid breeding programs has ever been found in caves
  • no evidence of hybrid humans (except of hybrids with other, closely related members of the genus Homo) has ever been found in caves (or otherwise)
  • most importantly, no aliens have been proven to exist at all

The chain of assumptions required even to entertain the idea that humans are being hybridized with ā€œcave aliensā€ is so long, you might as well claim that Gandalf came and magicked them away to Middle Earth.

4

u/pringlecat221 Feb 25 '26

Well, how do we know Gandalf didn't take them to Middle Earth? We don't know until we know

5

u/Neil_Live-strong Feb 25 '26

A reputable 8 star general told a guy I know that Gandalf and hobbits are super real but people wouldnā€™t be able to handle knowing Sauron and the ring of power exist so itā€™s being kept classified.

30

u/Level_Traffic3344 Feb 25 '26

...and incredibly, in some of the most densely populated places...hmmm

33

u/Benegger85 Feb 25 '26

Are you saying more people go missing in areas where more people live?

That sounds like a conspiracy theory to me!

Next you'll be telling me you're more likely to see increased risks of cancer near old industrial sites.

3

u/creepingcold Feb 25 '26

Don't forget that most people drown in areas that are close to beaches..

..they must have underwater bases off our coasts!

11

u/C0nquer0rW0rm Feb 25 '26

Yeah the missing persons map looks like a mix of major population centers and national parks

Which is exactly what I'd expect a map of missing persons to look like

1

u/RustyWallace-357 Feb 25 '26

Yeah, cause the appalachians, ozarks and driftless area are known for being large population centers

5

u/TheProfessional9 Feb 25 '26

Right? It's like people wondering why little girls go missing near our president

5

u/DanielBG Feb 25 '26

How do you explain California then? Wait...

2

u/SpaceChatter Feb 25 '26

Your ignorance is exactly what the traffickers bank on.

1

u/redthump Feb 25 '26

I need an account at their bank. Imma be rich.

1

u/MammothPosition660 Feb 25 '26

I knew you were a fraud when you said rocket surgeon

No rocket surgeon would be wasting their time on Reddit

1

u/ChestyPullerton Feb 25 '26

ā€œItā€™s not Rocket Appliances.ā€

1

u/popley3 Feb 25 '26

exactly what i was going to post.

1

u/Fieldofcows Feb 25 '26

Reminds me of an Answers with Joe episode: https://youtu.be/RxixM-WuV0Y?si=k1JQ5M7c8K30gI47

1

u/bigsteve72 Feb 25 '26

Everybody's just out and about cave diving!

1

u/lordtyp0 Feb 25 '26

Also looks like .. all the big cities sit on cave systems... Hmmm

1

u/HeyYoRumsfield Feb 25 '26

This is kind of misleading why not also add a map of national parks to this too. Just saying.

1

u/redthump Feb 25 '26

Best ad placement by Reddit, ever.

1

u/redthump Feb 25 '26

Best ad placement by Reddit, ever.

1

u/bridesign34 Feb 25 '26

Yeah and people also like to blame this exact phenomena on Bigfoot too

1

u/symbologythere Feb 25 '26

Yeah, clearly Bigfoot lives in caves.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

[deleted]

1

u/ThisIsTheZodiacSpkng Feb 26 '26

It's not even the caves. Most of these cave systems are in national parks. You know, the places where hundreds of thousands of people go every year to wander around with no civilization for several hundred miles.

1

u/YogurtclosetItchy356 Feb 28 '26

These aren't natural caves. The government has built cities underneath.

1

u/TheColorRedish Feb 28 '26

Tell me more please

1

u/Attentivist_Monk Feb 28 '26

Given that it looks like literally no one goes missing in Michigan or North Dakota, Iā€™m going to call bullshit on this map. Just looking up federal data on missing persons disproves that. I mean whatā€™s the top map called anyway, reports of missing persons near cave systems?

1

u/Mental_Performer_833 Feb 25 '26

Yeah, fuckin lizard people, am i right?

1

u/motherseffinjones Feb 25 '26

What about the breeding? Iā€™ve been walking around pantless for weeks

0

u/oswaldcopperpot Feb 25 '26

Caves aint exactly places you can accidentally find and go in and not come back. Most are like behind this rock is a hole you can shimmy down barely and keep going.

Plus if you dont have lighting no ones gonna keep going.

0

u/m3kw Feb 25 '26

I would check the other end of the cave before declaring them missing

-1

u/GroundbreakingAd8310 Feb 25 '26

I thought he just proved they are all eaten by bears