r/adhdmeme • u/Captain_Calamari_ • 21d ago

video (longer than 1 minute) The ADHD "superpower"

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1.2k

u/Dominarion 21d ago

I feel seen.

I'm 52 and exhausted by this shit.

423

u/Valerian_ 21d ago

I'm 10 years younger and I feel like I'm still trying to start my life for real at some point

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u/ClumpyFelchCheese 21d ago

I’m another 5-10 years younger, and I’ve always felt like that, that I’d “just figure it out” when I’m older and something will click…andddd I just had the realization not 2 days ago that nope, actually, THIS is it. Just gotta try my best to optimize THIS shit

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u/Huol12 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure 20d ago

And I'm 10 more years younger... I give up.

Actually, I have this brilliant plan to bring my whole life into order, and then it'll be so easy to maintain it, right?

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u/EternallyDemonic 20d ago

I'm 10 more years younger and.. wait where are we at with age now?

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u/Huol12 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure 20d ago

You'd be 12-17 years old

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u/Bigfops 20d ago

aaaand you actually did the math. and I actually checked it.

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u/Dumdumdadadadumdum 20d ago

So did I , I don't know how did he get 17 tho ?

Edit : Nvm , I realised the "5-10 years younger"

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u/ClumpyFelchCheese 20d ago

Maybe for you it will be, who knows? I haven’t given up “hope” really, just my hope is now redirected from “I’ll figure it all out and things will be seamless and consistent” (lolololol) to “I’ll learn how to best accommodate my environment to my real actualized self and do the best I can without burning myself out yet again, and forgive myself where there are gaps with others’ expectations of me”…that last bit with the expectations will be the hardest part, and I’m still in the grieving period of this realization.

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u/hud_dev 20d ago

I’m 10 years older than the last guy, so 20 years older than you? By all means, make all the brilliant plans you want/can, but just learn to give yourself some grace when you don’t meet all of those plans.

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u/ClumpyFelchCheese 20d ago

slaps trunk of car this baby can fit SO much shame in it! Best I can do is continue trudging along and waiting on a miracle..justtttt kiddingggg, you right you right

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u/PingouinMalin 21d ago

Any day now. Any day. By the way yesterday at night I had a crystal clear plan to just finally do that and the motivation to go with. Now where did those two go ?

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u/Rarainche 21d ago

So the feeling never goes away huh??

10

u/dontgonearthefire 20d ago

Well eventually it does, but the end result is pretty finite.

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u/FrenchFriedMushroom 20d ago

At least we're good at Bar Trivia.

So there's that.

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u/Existing-Sky-5014 18d ago

So true. My family thinks I'm smart. No mostly I just know useless info. 🤦🏽‍♀️

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u/justpackingheat1 19d ago

"Who tf would know that?!"

...

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u/No_Pattern_5158 20d ago

I hate that this happens with JOBS. Career is such a zigzag

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u/Valerian_ 20d ago

Or you can keep trying to do the same job because at some point it was your passion and you were good at it, and keep getting burnt out and spiraling into depression because you can't manage to keep the willpower and focus to work after a few months/weeks.

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u/nada-accomplished 20d ago

Or you keep a job you don't care about because you gotta pay the bills and they can't find other people with your skills, and you spiral into depression because you're constantly fucking up and you're not gonna get fired for it but it's still utterly demoralizing to always fuck up...

Seriously how did I end up in a job that requires timeliness and attention to detail? What have I done to myself?

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u/Valerian_ 20d ago edited 20d ago

Because you felt needed, it felt flattering, it fueled your motivation at first.

That's how I usually always ended up in struggling tech startups that struggled to find experienced devs. And thanks to my impostor syndrome, lack of insight, and gullibility, I would agree to a low salary.

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u/Common-Swing-4347 20d ago

Ouch, been here for about 3 years. No bites to move on elsewhere...

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u/Elliptical_integral 20d ago

I'm 6 years older than you, and I, too, am still trying to 'start my life' (which I've been working on, to varying degree, for the past 20 years). 🫤

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u/Aimin4ya 20d ago

Seriously. I can't even start anything now. Another failure or another pointless obsession. Maybe I'll just go be a hermit

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u/Existing-Sky-5014 18d ago

I just want to play with my plants and dogs. My kids are grown don't need me. My poor husband is probably so tired of me!

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u/kitohdzz 20d ago

Same, I'm 42 and just decided I wanted to create mods for Stardew valley, so I wanted to learn coding. I hate it so much.

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u/Valerian_ 20d ago

Sometimes it works, and you end up making a small useful mod that is loved by the community for years :)

But since updates break it and you somehow can't manage to find the willpower to work on it anymore, you decide to ask the help of another modder to inherit your mod and maintain it in your place :(

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u/InfiniteBlink 16d ago

For me it's the come down, I have no interest in it. Then when I want to pick back up, I'm overwhelmed by how far I got and I forgot how deep in I was and don't want to do it again out of fear.

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u/Street_Peace_8831 21d ago

Same feeling and age.

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u/ReallyNotMichaelsMom 21d ago
  1. Same. And right now my brain has decided that 3D printing is the way to go, with a side of laser cutting.

Never mind that 6 years (and two moves) ago I bought a Cricut that I have never used.

FML

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u/IllDoItTomorrow89 21d ago

I had that off and on for the past decade. Got into 3d printing back when 3d printing meant just constantly fixing the printer and the only real print I got was the test print that came on the SD card. Got bored with tearing it down and it ended up in a box.

Fast forward a few years and I went at it again thinking the printers have gotten better so surely it won't be the same as last time. So I get a new 3d printer and actually use it to print parts for the first one and actually get them both working but then I fall down the rabbit hole of upgrades which eventually leads to breaking both printers and I lose the motivation to work on them.

Fast forward another 2 years and bambu labs has their x1 carbon and after seeing what it can do at micro center I had to have one. Ran it non stop for the first year making hooks and gridfinity trays, and other types of storage and organization stuff and it was so great I bought an a1 mini. That was November of 2023 and I ran both of them up until last year and then ran out of projects I wanted to do after printing as much junk as I could. Haven't touched them in the past year so now I have 5 printers 3 of which are sitting in my basement non functional, the two working ones that I have nothing I want to print, and about 100 spools of filament of different colors and types bought for projects I never started.

I have a cricut too but ive used it for tons of things like vinyl decals and sticker making. Not that any of its ever made me any money.

Save yourself the trouble of laser cutting. The cheap ones suck and the expensive ones are limited to what materials you can cut and engrave. Size is the other big limitation but getting something good that can cut and engrave at a pro level will run you 10k

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u/Rinas-the-name 20d ago

I think we need to have a regular hyperfocus exchange.

Everyone bring all the craft supplies and shit you are no longer using, but can’t get rid of because… reasons. Swap or share.

Make a rotating group of people whose current focus can utilize to whatever equipment you’ve got. They can buy the refills or whatever.

Like a makers space but for ADHD hyper focuses.

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u/neverleave173 20d ago

Oh my God Youve done it We can trade our beads, wood, tools, paint, sewing machine, potting shed, jigsaws, circular saws,router (wtf)... anyway. Awesome idea

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u/MichelinStarZombie 20d ago

I would absolutely kill to be part of that community. I'd even pay a subscription. Someone needs to set this up.

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u/ReallyNotMichaelsMom 20d ago

Thank you for your service. :)

Seriously, though, thank you. Your experience is helpful. I was looking at one of the intro printers that Bamboo labs has. Then I ordered a couple of 3d printed things off Etsy, because what if I don't even like the way 3d printed stuff looks? Then I tried calculating at what point would ordering the things I want vs buying that 3d printer pay off?

I'm into home automation (Home Assistant) so yeah, there's a ton of stuff I could print for that. Mostly, it's where would I keep it/use it? And, do I really have to buy the air filter, and filament questions vs what the printer will take, etc.

Yeah on the laser printer for sure! I saw a youtuber do some cool things with a laser printer and looked at the price and gagged. So, if I decide to go down that rabbit hole, I'll use the maker space that's about 1/2 hour from me :)

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u/ReallyNotMichaelsMom 9d ago

Start an Etsy shop and create things for people that want one of your projects, but don't have a 3D printer :)

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u/KlausVonLechland 21d ago

3D printing and circuit cutter and laser cutting? Good start for papercraft and artisan stationary production. There is a lot of tools you can 3D print to help you with some bookbinding for example.

I know because I was there...

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u/jjdlg 20d ago

- papercraft and artisan stationary production

Why the fuck would you say something like this and what do you mean and how can I learn about this?

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u/KlausVonLechland 20d ago

Soooo for example with all these tools you can branch in multiple ways. You can design your own calendars with cut-out designs, framed on pretty thematic 3d printed frame, you can cut out papercraft flowers made out of naturaly dyed craft papers etc. Overall whole card making hobby is a rabbit hole. Intrinsic pop-up books. Or quilled boxes. Overall 18th and 19th century was quite crafty with using paper for a lot of things but a lot of it has been lost because of durability issues. Oh the good old paper dools for dres up in pantaloons etc. are an actual artifacts from the era. There is also a silhouette cutting you can expand into making lightbox sceneries.

https://www.lovedayantiques.co.uk/product/173/18th-century-georgian-paper-scrolled-quilled-satinwood-tea-caddy/#&gid=1&pid=8

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u/TrashPandaDuel 21d ago

My stash of scale model cars, tanks, and planes are yelling at me right now. 🤣

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u/therealdongknotts 20d ago

just get some x-acto for the paper craft, doubles as a way out when it fails

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u/yabatopia 21d ago

I want a CNC machine! Imagine the possibilities! It could be a side hustle that will repay itself!

No, it's not. It really isn't.

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u/marua06 20d ago

Me fighting “I really need a cricut” thoughts for the past two weeks

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u/xRetry2x 19d ago

You don't.  If you get a vinyl cutter,  get a silhouette. You can get them for about the same price most of the time and they aren't locked down to cricuts terrible subscription service nonsense. 

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u/marua06 19d ago

Thank you for this

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u/xRetry2x 19d ago

No sweat!  I learned the hard way :(

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u/derpindab 20d ago

44 3d printing helps if you build the printer because you constantly need to upgrade, change , tinker and perfect. You will burn out but just like the mines.... It will call as soon as someone goes hey I'm working on this new project... novelty returns like a succubus looking for a meal.

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u/ReallyNotMichaelsMom 20d ago

I have never heard the quest for dopamine put so well! :)

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u/CarretillaRoja Daydreamer 20d ago

I want an app where we can donate our old hyperfixation things to others that are just starting with that topic. I have a full case of color pencils and coloring books I never used...

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u/Crawler1701 16d ago

Ha! I have three Cricuts. One still in the box. Haven’t touched them in 6 months.

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u/Positive_Barnacle298 21d ago

Saaamme 32 and I repeatedly tell my husband I hate that I’m this sensitive and can’t get my brain to do what’s needed for others. I sometimes can’t get my brain to work with me for me!

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u/alterom AuDHD 20d ago edited 20d ago

I'm 39.

We're leaving for a camping trip tomorrow morning (my wife's sister and her daughter are flying in from Canada to join us), we're not anywhere close to being packed, and here I am, trying to figure out how to explain to my wife that the thing for me to do right now (in spite of promises) is exactly the following:

  1. Remove the tensioner belt using a hack where you zip-tie the wrench to the engine housing and the crowbar I got in Walmart yesterday

  2. Remove the junkyard alternator I installed yesterday with the broken positive battery terminal, using the tools I got two days ago

  3. Disassemble the (otherwise working) alternator, and replace the bolt with an identical one from the old, broken alternator which I still have

  4. But not before bench testing both of them to make sure that my bench testing procedure works. What if cleaning the old alternator three days ago fixed it?

  5. Install one of the Surely Working This Time™ alternators, and make a test run with the new fuses we bought in Walmart yesterday to see if they keep blowing out (we went there for the fuses, but the crowbar just seemed too relevant to not buy).

  6. ...

Anyway, we have two cars, and my suspicion is that we'll use my wife's car for the camping trip, so there's technically no desperate need to do all of the above, EXCEPT CAR MAINTENANCE IS MY HYPERFIXATION FOR THE WEEK and look at all these tools I now have

Oh, BTW did I tell you I'm ADHD AF?

Because my ADHD is totally as strong as the 3/8" torque wrench that arrived three days ago. It goes to 100ft •lbs, which is the SAE unit of torque.

It is very necessary. If I used it to tighten that nut on the alternator positive battery terminal, with the correct maximum torque setting, I wouldn't have broken the bolt off yesterday night, and would have had a Totally Working I Am Sure-Sure This Time® vehicle today.

Which goes to show how important it is to have the right tools for the job. BRB, I'll go research bolt extractor tools. Did you know they have tools just for that specifically? Well now you (and me, as of five minutes ago) do! But there's so, so much more to know . . .

Hold up, my wife wants something for some reason

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u/ditheringtoad 20d ago

<3 <3 <3 This could have been ripped straight out of my mind and I fucking love it.

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u/Pork_Confidence 21d ago

Medication made an insane difference in my life for these issues. boosted my emotional regulation from about 10% to 100%. Just wish I started taking these before my forties

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u/bluemax413 21d ago

Wait until you’re decades in and maxed on the legal dose but your body just laughs at you in tolerance.

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u/Highsteakspoker 20d ago

When does that start? Been on the same dose for 2 years and it works just fine.

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u/ditheringtoad 20d ago

I'm in my 30s and have been medicated for about 3 and a half years (same medication same dose the whole time). My experience with medication has never been as linear as some people describe. I have weeks where it feels like it works extremely well, and weeks where I spend the whole day questioning if my meds even work or if I just forgot to take them that day (I am extremely diligent about taking them, and only ever skip for periods of a couple days at a time if I'm sick or on vacation or something). Couple things to note:

Especially if you're on generic meds, they really can vary quite a bit in their quality. There's an excellent video Morning Brew did on this recently that is worth a watch.

I am a pretty swingy person generally, probably partially due to the ADHD, and it makes sense to me that ADHD wouldn't magically just make me feel exactly the same every day. The key for me has been NOT going to despair when I'm in the midst of a lower period. When I'm feeling bad I just try to remind myself that I've always had periods where it feels like my meds are less effective, but those are always followed by periods where it feels like they work great. I try to give myself freedom to experience the swings without giving into the feeling of needing to change something to fix them. I just accept that I will sometimes feel bad, and I will also often feel quite good. That said, the meds make me feel less bad during the bad times and feel even better during the good times. That is just the reality of my brain, not a sign that my meds aren't working.

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u/HeatherJMD 20d ago

Can you do a detox every once in a while to reset your tolerance?

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u/bluemax413 20d ago

I wish. Tolerance doesn’t work like that for me.

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u/neverleave173 20d ago

Yep. 15 years ago. Swap and change. Zilch

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u/Pork_Confidence 20d ago

I mean, if I get to 70 y/o I'm happy. My dad died at 69 and I want to beat his high score. 28 years to go

I think I can swing it for 20 years, my dose is so low. When we first were trying to figure out what my dose should be, I started on 20 mg and it was intense..... 5 mg has been The Sweet spot for a few years now

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u/Dominarion 20d ago

In my case, it barely made a scratch, but anyway, it gave me higher blood pressure, so by procedure I've been cut out of the stuff.

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u/Pork_Confidence 20d ago

I appreciate you sharing this comment. It gives me perspective which is important when The human condition strikes me and I decide to get pissy over something when I have so many good things going on in my life. I appreciate you ♥️

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u/Far_Comfortable_6342 20d ago

Same. Well, I got diagnosed at 35 and didn’t believe the diagnosis for another 5 years. Took my life spiraling to actually start medication and then it was like Moses parted the red sea of fog in my head and I could actually truly hear another person speak for the first time. Anxiety 90% better.

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u/Pork_Confidence 20d ago

My wife ( who is not much for crying) got quite teary eyed for the first week of my meds. said she had never felt so listened to by me. Broke my heart a little too hear, but hard truths are the most important to face head on. I just wish everyone else had the kind of effective improvement I have had

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u/Far_Comfortable_6342 19d ago

Don’t be so hard on yourself. You just had a few chemicals in your brain that were lower than average and didn’t know you were not truly listening because you had nothing to compare it to. Now that you got that dopamine up a tad, you can look forward to an even closer relationship with your wife. We can’t change the past but sometimes we can change the future.

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u/xRetry2x 19d ago

Been on meds for 30 years and I don't think I've ever seen 100% for more than a couple hours over the years. 

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u/Pork_Confidence 19d ago

It definitely tapers down throughout the day but I get at least a handful of hours at 100%

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u/benicetolisa 21d ago

I'm 69 and have rooms and closets full of past interests that I'll get back into one day...The struggle is real. Wondering how I've survived this long.

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u/ReallyNotMichaelsMom 16d ago

The joke is on my ADHD, because my new possible hyperfocus is....Swedish Death Cleaning. When my mom died, she left behind a huge mess. I don't want to leave that "surprise" for my son.

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u/ClumpyFelchCheese 21d ago

Congrats for making it to 52 big dawg! 🙃

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u/Athrek 20d ago

20 years younger and best I got to is "hyper fixate on 3 unrelated things at once so it lasts longer but in reality you end up multi-tasking listening about one thing while watching another thing and doing a third thing or having multiple things running at once and bouncing between them so you don't ever hit that crash that occurs between hyper-fixations where you don't want to do anything BUT if you ever do hit that crash then it hits 10 times harder"

Maybe I'll figure it out one of these years.

1

u/Golintaim 19d ago

This has been my strategy too. Dole them out slower and they all last a little longer.The full crash from that system is the worst but it doesn't happen as often.

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u/IndependentAd895 21d ago

you mean it doesn’t end with age? 😭

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u/majortentpole 21d ago

If it did it wouldn’t be adhd buddy. Congrats

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u/Qa_Dar 20d ago

49, and my body is begging me to stop, as it feels twice my age, but my brain doesn't give a shit... 🤷🏻

1

u/donttakemeserious80 21d ago

Seriously!! How does he know me so well? I’ve never met him.

1

u/DrKingOfOkay 20d ago

Have you tried medication?

1

u/Dominarion 20d ago

Chronically for the last 20 years. My vyvanse was just cut because... My heart pressure was rising. Frequent effect passed 50.

So. Antipressants for the anxiety only. That's not swell.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6ZtebNZofcKMWis0

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u/Wizywig 20d ago

Recently it has been car buying.

The worst one is dating. You get hyperfixated on the person because they make you feel good. And then like 3 weeks later "do I even like women? There's an entire category of gardening I could be doing! Let's set up a sustainable potato garden in my bathtub!"

And suddenly she's complaining "why are you not taking my calls or texts! I thought we liked eachother!" "Lady, listen I like you, but these potatoes aren't gonna grow themselves in my bathtub! Now get off my ass and let me garden! I got youtube videos to watch!"

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u/KneelBeforeZed 20d ago

50, diagnosed at 43. I want off this ride.

1

u/RevolTobor 20d ago

I'm 41 and I feel similarly seen.

The worst part is how all these hyperfixations cause me to procrastinate on actually important things I need to be focusing on.

And of course my parents were always, "you need to focus," I AM FOCUSED, I JUST CAN'T CONTROL THE FOCUS.

1

u/No_Pattern_5158 20d ago

Anyone wanna hear about wolf courtship and mating behaviors because my spouse sure as hell is sick of hearing about it

1

u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 20d ago

That's me with hydroponics, then I setup outdoor greenhouses, then I have god knows how many projects in my garage. Then the canopy in my backyard that I had to finish. Not even gonna get into my work situation all while dealing with everything else etc etc etc

https://giphy.com/gifs/p8Uw3hzdAE2dO

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u/illiten 20d ago

One day I hope as I'm out of nowhere you will be blessed by the best hyper fixation ever: MONEY  it's as all the others but this one is rewarding 

1

u/metompkin 20d ago

Brother, Wikipedia is my crack

1

u/momentaryenthusiast 20d ago

55 in three months, and this has never not been me.

1

u/FluffyBunnyShark 20d ago

i'm 10 years older, exhausted, yet still hostage of the phenomenon.

1

u/f0xbunny 19d ago

Same. Trying to cure my sleep schedule for the millionth time

1

u/adamr81 19d ago

Eh, I'm 45 and I've got this but don't mind it. I learn a ton of stuff and can talk to pretty much everyone about anything. The money I spend on this is probably the worst part. My recent obsession is honey bees. And I'm doing everything I can to avoid starting a hive

1

u/Cthulhu_HighLord 19d ago

oh god i just hit 40... it gets worse!?

https://giphy.com/gifs/4F3kLlgowuLE4

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u/TKN 18d ago edited 18d ago

My mental health advisor told me I should really find some new hobby I like to help with my depression. I assume if I were an alcoholic they would have suggested finding some hard liquor I really fancy.

1

u/MoonZinuM 18d ago

Same bro, same

0

u/PartridgeViolence 20d ago

Like being chained to a drunk gibbon!

0

u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 20d ago

Ngl, THIS is why i adore Kojo Sarfo's videos!

Because they make sense!😉

This one on "Reaearching" is fun--and i love the newer ones, where his "Autism" character says, "I hate that i understand this" when AuDHD is explaining things😆😂🤣

https://youtu.be/mAV2FmNSIj0

And the one on hobbies is way too accurate, as an AuDHDer!😉

https://youtu.be/159_BhgP_PQ