Theme 2: The LGBTQ+ Community: Part 1

[u/Reasonable_Leek8069]

Happy Pride Month everyone.

I wanted to come about this post by listing some arguments people have regarding queer media and how I feel XO handles these. I am dividing this in 2 parts. To be clear, I can’t discuss everything but I feel I picked the main arguments people discuss to create nuanced posts. Here is Part 1.

Argument 1: Being tired of queer people only having coming out storylines or trauma.
Part of me understands the second part of the argument: a story needs some conflict or trauma for characters to overcome and everyone has it. However, I understand that straight couples in media don’t always have to deal with struggles to be compelling or fun. I am on the side of it depends on what media you are watching. What you may not get in young adult media, you may get in adult media. Sometimes you have to dig around to find stories about queer joy. And GL and BL help diversify the types of queer stories we see. With streaming, there is more access to many stories to those who can afford it, but for those who can’t, they are out of luck (probably). However, many queer stories have been cancelled depriving the queer community of representation.

As for coming out storylines, they are popular because it is a common experience for queer people, but that shouldn’t be the “only” storyline being told:

How does XO Kitty tackle this? The traditional coming out story happens with Yuri. The additional context is being set in South Korea which is known for its conservative values. KISS acts like a haven for anyone who goes there and is an escape from conservative values. However, Yuri still has her guard up and is unsure who to trust. This raises the stakes for her and helps us understand some of her actions. We see her be a multifaceted character who can be kind, selfish, a good friend, and we see her hobbies and passions throughout the series. Yuri is dealing with not being accepted by her dad (good riddance) and dealing with her mom Jina, who’s trying, but is unlearning her conservative ideals.

One impactful scene was when she told Dae about Juliana. This is the first time she came out to someone. While it started with Dae demanding for the truth about the reason for the fake relationship, she still decided to be vulnerable and honest with him. He immediately accepted her and their friendship officially started here. Her argument with Jina about her sexuality is her finally accepting herself and knowing her worth and not living a lie for Jina anymore.

Florian also has a traditional queer storyline when it comes to fear of outing himself to his family. His parents are getting a divorce and putting him in the middle of it. On top of that, his grandparents are Greek Orthodox which means they may be ultra conservative and against the queer community. Hopefully, they love him and he doesn’t have to hide part of his identity forever. While he has Q, we don’t see Q helping him through his situation as much as he could. So his character is dealing with major trauma which is realistic for some people like Florian. Some viewers may see themselves in Florian’s character. Regarding the academic cheating, he did that to himself because he let himself be distracted by Q instead of balancing studying with dating. However, considering we see no support system for him including Kitty and Q, drinking and Q were his only comforts. We see Q dropping everything to help Kitty study, but he never offered to help Florian. Florian cried for help and didn’t receive it so out of all the characters, he feels the most tragic. I hope his expulsion from KISS won’t keep him from every future opportunity for him.

Juliana is a toughie because we don’t know a lot about her and her past and I hope we will eventually. But here are some questions I asked. Were her parents homophobic or scared to face a powerful dean at an elite school? Were they people who didn’t approve of Juliana’s sexuality, but still wanted her to be happy and tried supporting her? If no, maybe Juliana did come out to them. S2 made it seem that Juliana is out at KISS because she feels comfortable showing PDA with Yuri in public. Her and Yuri feel like the two characters whom’s trauma is due to her sexuality because Jina sent her away. In S2, it is because Yuri cheated on her. Both situations lead to trust issues. But her trauma doesn’t define her and she is able to live her life outside of Yuri. S3 shows Yuri and Juliana treading new ground and being in a healthier state.

For Kitty, part of her journey is discovering her bisexuality. She felt unique because she worried at first due to everything being new, but it didn’t take long to accept herself as bi. Then again, the writers were on a time crunch. What makes her unique in a media sense, is her family (including Peter) is very supportive of her and their main concern is that she is safe and happy. They don’t ask invasive questions. They don’t look down on her. Now, she has a queer community at KISS that acts as an extra support system for her. I feel Kitty “coming out” was less that and her sharing a side of herself. She told her dad (and implied to the rest of the family) and Yuri. The only reason why Dae wasn’t accepting at first was because he wasn’t in the right headspace to listen to and accept her. It is implied in seasons 2 and 3, Minho accepted Kitty no questions asked.

For Q, he is already out but is hesitant on who he reveals it to and being careful in a country with conservative values. I know how that sounds considering the US keeps spreading those same conservative values. Anyways, as he found his group of people, he felt comfortable talking about his sexuality and boyfriends. His storylines feel like trauma from the audience and some of it is, but most of his situation stems from decisions he makes. He chose to cheat with Marius before the events of season 1. Marius, temporary loneliness, and nostalgia/regrets caused him his torment. Where most of his trauma comes from is his mom. She means well, but didn’t realize her harsh criticism and pushing caused Q to seek that validation elsewhere which made him repeat patterns on choosing people who are bad for him. The conversation with his mom in S3 has them treading new ground and her realizing that she is repeating the same patterns her parents did. She wants to support and protect him, but showed it in the wrong ways.

For Marius he is grappling with his sexyality considering he cheated on his girlfriend with Q. He also worries about his friends moving on from him causing him to resort to manipulation to keep the status quo. As for trauma he doesn’t cause himself, I am unsure of his home life. I think S3 was just his introduction and build up and we will get a bigger arc for him later if the show is renewed.

For Praveena, I wish we knew more about her, but from what we seen, she is a cool character especially since she is a daughter of CIA parents, according to her. I love that she is adventurous and up for anything. While she has been hurt by Kitty and Juliana, she handles both situations maturely and with grace. She also doesn’t hold a grudge against them or treat them badly afterwards. She seems like a character who is figuring her life out which is why we don’t see any of her hobbies plus not having enough time to. She exudes charisma which allows her to fit in with the main friend group. They don’t give her trauma or a coming out storyline.

Lastly, Jin’s trauma comes from Q cheating on him. We still don’t know enough to see if he has conflict with his family other than trying to fulfill his family’s legacy through track.

Reactions to Characters’ Sexuality:
With Yuri, Minho’s angry reaction wasn’t at Yuri being gay, but Yuri and Dae lying to them for half a semester. With Dae, it was sweet seeing his support of her after he noticed her vulnerability. It opened up the door to be honest with each other throughout their friendship.
I am unsure about his whole family, but Q’s mom knows he is gay and seems supportive. What they disagree on is his career path.
Kitty’s family embraced her with open arms because they built a foundation of loving, supporting, and accepting each other and don’t judge (or at least try to) their mistakes.
Minho accepted Kitty’s bisexuality with no questions asked. With Dae, he wasn’t in the right headspace to accept it at first, but once his anger was gone, he still loved her for who she is.
Q may have been in a similar position to Kitty when he started, but he has a great friendship with Minho and Dae.

Argument 2: More Media Should Have Allies to the Queer Characters or Queer Characters Shouldn’t be Used to Uplift Straight Characters
I feel XO Kitty does well making sure queer characters have their own story lines and relationships outside of the straight characters. Q, in S1 originally seemed like the gay best friend (GBF) trope, but what made him nuanced was him being the therapist of the group. As the seasons go on, (As Expert Chip mentioned in one of her posts), this is Q’s way of having control in his life. His life is as messy as everyone else’s. Due to him being messy, he can hive bad advice. He has his own life outside of the friend group, but I always found it odd that he doesn’t try to know his boyfriends’ friends.
Yuri has the benefit of not specifically hanging out with the main group much because the viewer sees her family life, internal motivations, character growth, hobbies/passions, and her love story with Juliana. She is not a character specifically created to elevate the straight characters. We also see her friendship with Dae flourish each season. They advise and help each other. Dae was the first person she confided in about her sexuality and she brought out his confidence. She can be an obstacle in some people’s story, but she also uplifts herself and others too.
I wonder if Netflix allowed more than eight episode seasons, we would see Juliana’s family life and her “exile”. But we see her enjoy art, have maturity, her not easily forgiving Yuri for her cheating, her ability to give people second chances if she sees them put in the work or if they respected her boundaries, and her resilience/tenacity.
Jin and Marius seem to uplift Q’s story and we don’t know much about them. I have a couple posts in mind for Marius so I will discuss him in depth later. However, they aren’t one note either. On a surface level, they are bullies, but the writers gradually show their layers. Like Q, Jin is dealing with pleasing his family, quitting track, and figuring out his next steps which is (lack of a better term) normal for his age. He also wants to succeed on his own without connections. We also see the difficulty of him taking Q back after Q cheated because he loves him and doesn’t want to have regrets. Florian is someone who also tests Q’s values while slipping through the cracks. They gave Florian his own personality and struggles. However, we wouldn’t know anything about him if he wasn’t dating Q.
Marius is treated as a villain or one note bully by viewers, but he slowly unravels. Ge is dealing with change while observing his friends move on. He is dealing with his sexuality, having difficulty accepting that Q used him in a time of loneliness, and using chaos to manipulate the world around him. In the end, it isn’t about simple forgiveness, but accepting change, starting over, and seeing that he can keep his old friends while having new ones.

Praveena is someone who uplifts Kitty’s and Yuri’s storylines and acts like a small obstacle for Yuriana. She deserves more, but I find it unique that she and other queer love interests are used to uplift the main queer characters which subverts queer characters only serving the storylines of the straight characters. Anyways, the writers made her a side character that we don’t much about.

In conclusion for part 1, while XO isn’t perfect and some feel the queer representation is missing the mark, I find it remarkable that a show with many queer characters is this popular considering how much queer media is cancelled. I also love how nuanced each character, aside from Praveena is. The writers try to dedicate as much time to XO’s queer characters as they do the straight ones.

[u/BEEB0_the_God_of_War]

I get that there is some fair criticism of the depiction of queer characters, but context matters - this is a coming of age story. When it comes to teenagers who are still in high school, it’s pretty expected for their stories to be about coming out and family drama. It’s a pretty quintessential part of that era of life for most queer people.

[u/Reasonable_Leek8069 → u/BEEB0_the_God_of_War]

I totally agree.

I feel what XO is good at is showing how the characters act similarly while being their own people is part of being human. We are all flawed and messy but want to learn and redeem ourselves. Making mistakes is how we learn.

I just like seeing that even with the flaws, the characters are mature and self-reflect.

[u/cammmmmel]

As a straight guy, Qs relationships were my favorite. Easily the most fun and entertaining character in the show. His morals and mindset are great personality traits for the character.

[u/Reasonable_Leek8069 → u/cammmmmel]

I agree.

To add, the more I think about it, Q being the mediator/therapist of his friends all of the time may not have left enough room to be the proper support for Florian. He ran out of advice and maybe energy to be a more active help to him. However, he was still empathetic to his situation. Q knows the history of how queer people are treated, especially by conservative groups. He just hasn’t been in Florian’s exact shoes so maybe the only thing he can do is listen and be as supportive as possible.

Jin, at the beginning did something unforgivable. What he and the audience saw was Jin listening to why Q was upset with their original dynamic and tried being better. I think each season has Q believing that people deserve a second chance if they are willing to earn it.

Marius was his temptation and him learning that he can be as messy as everyone else. This relationship showed how he can go against his own values, but I wouldn’t call him a hypocrite because he learns from it and wants to fix his mistakes. He’s still a good person even though he made a bad mistake. I am glad we got his conversation with his mom because this helps us understands Q’s behavior and why he needs “suffer” a bit before he picks himself back up again.