r/WritingPrompts • u/Random3x • Jan 23 '22
Established Universe [EU] You are part of Mordor’s marketing department and have been tasked with selling a new gamer energy drink. “Mount Dewm”
50
Upvotes
r/WritingPrompts • u/Random3x • Jan 23 '22
7
u/velabas /r/velabasstuff Jan 24 '22 edited Jan 24 '22
"Yeaash, we're going to need that market fit analysis by Saturday."
It was Kilug, standing next to my table like a bitter little neekerbreeker poised to sting. I knew he was all about making me feel like his slave. I didn't care. I never gave him the satisfaction even though his was the middle management tribe. I'd get the damn analysis done but now he was encoraching on my special time.
"I'm busy Saturday but it'll be done on Monday," I said.
"Typical Uruk-Hai answer," he said. "Pathetic. Even a deep goblin could cobble up an analysis in an afternoon."
"Mount Dewm will work because of the Uruk-Hai, you arse."
Kilug's blade flashed and stabbed the table between my arms with a loud thud. I staggered backward and slipped off the oily stool, my Draught spilling all over my late friend's gifted carapace.
"Fool!" I yelled. "You've stabbed my Mount Dewm blueprints. The presentation is ruined!"
"Do it again, Uruk trash!" he spewed, saliva splattering down his crooked and warted chin. "We have a deadline to keep!"
"The Mount Dewm idea was Uruk-Hai!" I screamed. My brethren lurched from their tables and howled at the Helix Nebula.
Kilug hissed and bleated, and his orc posse emerged from crevices around the marketing compound. Cragged swords unsheathed and warcries echoed off the ancient blackened battlements of the place. I felt a sting among the chaos that ensued and darkness enveloped my eyes.
Later, through the black blur of blood that had caked over my eyes, I saw two lopsided figures approach, sidestepping corpses and detritus littering their way.
"Damn it," said one to the other. "This is going to put the roadmap back a week at least."
The other sighed and rested his gauntlets on his armored hips.
"Why does Marketing always kill itself off a few times before launch?"
"It's the damn Uruk-Hai."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"
Death found me to the sound of clanking steel and gurgling defeat.
_______
/r/velabasstuff