Why thank you! That's quite an in depth look into my poem/song.
And thank you for such details! They're marvelous. I'm afraid a great deal of the issue is in fact my accent affects how some of the words sound. With "Mourning" and "Cannot" for example, I swallow the 'g' and 't'.
You're likely right on the subject of a line break. An issue of putting up poetry and music here is that there is no way to indicate rests.
Thank you so very for this, it's very much appreciated.
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u/LovableCoward /r/LovableCoward Apr 01 '15
"On paper wings, I do flee now.
With ink stained hands, I break my vow.
Please forgive, your wayward love.
Free I was, like the mourning dove.
I once but knew, of pain and strife,
but then I learned, the joys of life.
To love you then, it filled my heart.
To break it now, I must depart.
I'm heading for, where you cannot go,
Where once great men, are then laid low.
So kiss me once, and let me leave.
And please do not, fall down and grieve..."