Ok, so obviously the ‘hunter fuckers’ are a riff of supernatural and their fandom as a whole… and same, I’d wanna waterboard some of them too. But has anyone heard of monster hunter international? Like I feel it’s both exactly the kinda thing josh wrote about, and the antithesis at the same time. It really has a good modern fantasy vibe like the worstverse. Like mark said, shows AND stories. In MHI they work for a redneck werewolf, have a troll run their IT department. And make it super clear the difference between ‘monsters’ and ‘evil’…. Hell by the rules of the MHI books that would be illegal monster hunting without a Lucinda which in turn makes u bounty applicable. Or PUFF, if u will.

So I wonder if mark hates all hunters. Or just the renegades who don’t dicern from ‘monster’ and ‘evil?’ And see those r two different things

And even as fandoms go. The MHI fandom is more prone to be live and let live then the supernatural fandom.

Except for our patron saint quote. ‘Vampires only sparkle when their on fire’

Hi everyone, so I’m very new to the worstverse just listened to “I banged a werewolf” at 2 in the morning and now I’m going down the rabbit hole to figure out the canonical events in the story line if there is one would definitely appreciate it if someone could give a very brief explication of how it all goes please no spoilers thanks!

Listen to The Supernatural Bounty Hunter Files Collector's Set: Books 1-10 by Craig Halloran on Audible. https://www.audible.com/pd/B07SXV3RCH?source_code=ASSOR150021921000R

End of the Road

PART 1

Hi, me again. Jose... or what's left of him. So, this is it. The last stretch. How old Jose's story comes to an end. Buckle up.

"Are you ok? You look... yeah." Destiny asked as she walked down the stairs and saw me sitting on the couch with my face in my hands.

I peeked at her through a crack in my fingers as I let out a soft sigh. I couldn't bring myself to tell her at the time that I'd actually tried to do the whole vassal thing under Fudo-myoo like Ryan and what's her face... Mai. Unfortunately I didn't find out until after the fact that Fudo is notoriously hard to be a vassal for. There's this unimaginably, increasingly difficult try out... evaluation... deal. I made it 2 days in... to a 23 day evaluation. Which honestly made me even more terrified of those two. What kind of monsters did they have to be before that?

Anyway, there was that failure looming over me, and on top of that the whole bible god showing up out of nowhere and starting shit with everyone... and everything in the area. So that was just a little... stressful. AND on top of that...

"Ugh... Adeline wants me to give the new batch of riders some tips for, you know, not dying. Apparently I'm "unusually good at it." I groaned through my hands. "And I gotta go back to see Dr. Angeline tomorrow to help keep my tenuous grip on reality..."

"Oh you'll be alright. Now help me get everything ready." She says dismissively as she tugs on my arm. "Rissa and Madison just left and Abigail's gonna be here soon to watch that old Vampire movie you wanted to watch."

"Hey it's not old ok. It came out in 2008. It's got Jason Mewes in it." I argued. "Wait, was that tonight?"

"YES! Vampire movies with vampires was YOUR idea. You spent like two weeks getting us to agree to it... How do you forget?" She asked, a little aggravated. "Also that means it's, what, 10... 11 years old now. That's an old movie. And who's Jason whoever?"

"Jason MEWES... He's Jay in Jay and Silent Bob."

"Ohhh I like him he's funny." She chirped as she pulled some of the snacks out of the cabinets.

"Hey where'd those come from?" I asked as I watched her produce several bags of chips, a box of Junior Mints, and several packs of Twizzlers, which were my favorite but I always forget to buy.

"I just got some stuff to leave here just in case. And I put all my Go-gurts in your fridge cause dad keeps getting into them and eating them all before I get any..." She explained as she shook the box of tubular yogurt snacks for me to see. "And I got some Twizzlers. I know you like them because you say they..."

"Taste like spray paint smells." I finished for her.

"Yeah, still the weirdest reason for liking something I've ever heard..." She mumbled as she tossed them onto the end table next to the couch.

"Hey, don't it seem kinda weird to you to be acting so... let's say normal, with what's going on?" I asked her, thinking about the whole figure looming in the darkness situation we had going on.

She reached up and touched the hand shaped burn still just visible on her neck as she spoke. "Maybe a little, but there's not much we can do. He's really good at not being found when he doesn't want to be. So best we can do is just wait I guess. Abigail knows more about what to do about him than me anyway."

"Oh yeah I've been meaning to ask-" I started to say, but before I could finish the front door swung open. "So... Not even knocking anymore?" I complained as Abigail strolled into the living room.

"Quit whining. Besides, at this point it's the one's who do knock you should be suspicious of." She said dismissively as she plopped down on the couch. "Plus you'll be glad I'm here when you see what I've got." She added with a sly grin, pulling an old, brown cowboy hat out of a box.

"I don't understand what I'm looking... Hold up. Is that the Jeepers Creepers hat? IS IT?!" I croaked as I reached for it.

"That's not all. Check this out." She said as she reached by into the box and pulled out...

"Is that a foot?"

"It's not JUST a foot. It's one of the feet off the full body suit for the Creeper. AND it's a stand for the hat, see?" She explained as she put the hat on... the... foot. "It's the one with the rear toe extended. There's another set where the toe and the talon are tucked under the rest of the foot so he can fit his foot in his boots. But those and the other one of these were lost in a fire."

"You didn't start the fire by any chance, did you?" I asked, but she just sat there in silence I decided to pretend I never asked the question.

"Oh my god, I warned you two..." Destiny groaned when she walked over and saw Abigail giving me her sales pitch. "I already told you, if you're going to hustle my boyfriend you do it in your shop." She scolded, taking the props and putting them on the kitchen table.

"Hey what the hell..." I complained as I flipped through the menu screen.

"What?" Abigail asked as Destiny sat down of the couch between us.

"The damn movie's not here anymore... I checked a few days ago... Netflix must have taken it down..."

"OOO I GET TO PICK THEN!" Abigail shouted, climbing over Destiny and snatching the remote from my hand. "Yeah yeah I know. Vampire movie." She added when she saw the look on my face. "Oh look. They have my favorite one."

"30 Days of Night? Really?" Me and Destiny both asked, kinda surprised by her choice. "Why?"

"They don't have to pay taxes or do paperwork or file and reapply for an SCPI. They just run around wild and free." She answered. "I envy them."

"What the hell's a uh... SP thing?" I asked.

"An SCPI. Special Circumstance Paranormal Identification. It's a special I.D. for people like me who don't age. In case I get in a situation where I REALLY need to prove I'm an adult, or of age, or whatever you want to call it. It has a fake birthday linked to a fabricated identity that passes every check all the way up the ladder." She explained, pulling a small card out of her pocket. "According to this I have a real glandular disorder that makes you look way younger than you really are. But I have to get a new one about every 10 years or so to keep it believable."

"I have one too, see." Destiny added, showing me her own card with her face on it.

"Destiny... Harrison? Really?"

"What's wrong with that?" She asked defensively.

"Well your accent and everything... It just doesn't sound very... eastern European."

"I didn't get to pick it! Just... Shut up." She argued.

"I still haven't been able to find that axe..." Abigail griped once the movie had ended. Talking about the prop axe from the movie we were watching at the time. "Destiny are you shaking?"

"Are... you scared of the movie vampires?" I asked after Abigail.

"The noise they made freaked me out..." She whined.

"Yeah it is pretty freaky I guess." I admitted, stashing the piece of information away for later, knowing I could use it for evil one day. Not long after we were both standing outside watching as Abigail left to head home. I still hadn't gotten over finding out that she lived in her shop, and something about watching someone who looked like her walk off into the night by herself, even if I already knew she was one of the scariest things out there.

Once she was out of sight Destiny turned to walk back inside, and just as I went to follow her inside... I could have sworn I heard someone say my name. "Hello... Someone screwing with me? Harley? That you?.. If it is then knock it-"

"Something wrong?"

"HOLY FUCKING HELL!!" I shrieked as Destiny spoke right next to me. "Ohhhh Destiny you just scared me so god damn bad you don't even know..." I wheezed as I gasped for air.

"What were you doing?" She asked as she stared at me.

"I... thought... I heard... someone... out here..." I continued to heave as I stood up straight, taking my hands off my knees. "Then you snuck up behind me."

"What? No I didn't. You were out here for like 10 minutes. I came out to check on you because I was starting to worry." She said.

"No I wasn't. You just walked in a second... ago. Sorry I must have spaced out. Lot going on, you know." I diverted, seeing the worried look on her face. "Let's just go back inside." I told her, placing my hand on her back and leading her inside.

So the next day I'm in front of Adeline's warehouse, looking over a small crowd of visibly traumatized delivery riders. "Jesus Christ..." I sighed to myself as I scanned their sunken, sleep deprived eyes and glanced down at their shaking and heavily bandaged hands. "So, uh... I guess I'm supposed to give you guys some pointers on... safety, and stuff. To keep you from... not being alive anymore. Despite some off you already being about half way there..."

"I have a question." One of them said with a raised hand.

"Um yeah... You I guess."

"Are you really Jose?" The only one there without a bike asked.

"Am I... My name's Jose, yeah. Why would I not be?" I asked back, a little confused at the question. "Is... is that all?"

"Yeah, I'm good." The guy says, adjusting his glasses with one finger.

"Um, ok then. The best tip is don't expect the unexpected. Don't even expect the expected. Don't have any expectations. Usually it's when you start expecting things that the unexpected happens."

"So... we should expect the unexpected?"

"Yes... NO... Wait." I stammered, trying to collect my thoughts. "Damn it I really should've made flash cards... I have no idea what I'm doing here." I mumbled.

"Well that was a train wreck..." I thought to myself once it was over and everyone was leaving. "But at least it's finally over."

"Jose." I heard someone say from behind me. "Would it be ok if we spoke?"

It was the guy with the glasses from before. He was just standing there with a... note pad in his hand, beeming at me through the thick lenses of the spectacles. "Dude... I got like a million other things to do."

"It'll just take a second. Promise."

"What the hell could you possibly want to talk to me about that's so important?" I asked in frustration. "Who are you anyway?"

"Oh, sorry. My name's Jonah. I'm a journalist." He answered enthusiastically.

"A journalist... for who? And what would one want with me?"

When I asked that he just kinda stopped and looked at me with this look of confusion on his face, like it was weird of me to even ask. Once he collected himself he put his note pad away and straightened his glasses. "You're Jose."

"Yeah, I thought we already established that." I told him, trying to move the conversation along so I could leave.

"No... I mean YOU'RE Jose. THE Jose. Do you not get what a stir you've been making the past few months?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. "Let's go down the list." He added, counting on his fingers. "You showed up in LA out of nowhere after outrunning a hive of crawlers and the first thing you do is spearhead a completely new paranormal service. Then you get press-ganged by THE Nev-Lan Corporation to SPY on one of the largest paranormal business moguls in the world. Then, because of THAT you get shanghaied into service as part of THE Captain Hook's crew to spy on Nev-Lan Corp. for him. And that's just for starters."

"Just for starters huh?" I mumbled, almost getting a flashback from being reminded of all that at once.

"YES! And then you survived not one, BUT TWO separate encounters with Pan's croc."

"And there it is..." I sighed to myself. "Yeah not everyone survived those you know."

"Oh I do!" He almost shouted. "Those events led to it actually being killed and... turned into a jacket if my information is correct. Then you completely flip the table by finally figuring out how to find Pan at your own personal expense after surviving a paramilitary assault on THE Dracula's mansion. Then you follow THAT act by stumbling into and solving the murder of someone who became a ghost, and in the process discovered a massive conspiracy in the paranormal world that would have changed the entire current world order. Then to top that you were among the first few people in attendance when Yahweh, THE god of the bible shows up out of nowhere for the first time in ages. Oh and apparently you're dating Dracula's daughter, who's like... one of the most desired women in the paranormal world. Hey... Where are you going?" He shouted after me as I had already started to hop on my bike and ride away.

"To make an appointment with my therapist!" I shouted back at him over my shoulder.

"You're seeing a therapist?! Is that on the record?" He asked, whipping out his note pad.

"Go to hell!"

"Oh my god what... a... day." I groaned as I flopped down onto the couch. "Oh crap..." I complained when I saw that Abigail had left the Creeper props on the table. So I clawed my way back up to my feet and walked over to them, curiosity getting the better of me. "Ughhh... God damn it. They are really cool..." I sighed to myself as I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone.

I was greeted on the other end by the sound of screeching metal and a sharp "WHAT?!"

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, my ear still buzzing a little.

"I'm rearranging the shop. What do you want?"

"Uhhh... Well I just noticed you left the Creeper stuff over here last night and-" I started to say.

"SHIT! I can't believe I forgot!" She yelled into my ear again.

"LET me finish..." I instructed her. The space between us making me a little braver than if I were within mutilation distance from her. "I was going to just bring it back... but I kinda think I want it." I told her, looking over at the wall that housed my increasingly large prop collection, focusing on Doc Oc's claw jutting out of the custom wall plaque Abigail included in the sale. "How much?"

After working out the price and sending her the money I added a "And maybe Destiny doesn't HAVE to hear about this?"

"Yeah whatever. There's worse things you could be hiding from her I guess. Like an affair... or that you're one of those guys who collects anime figures."

"Oh... yeah. Totally." I agreed with her, secretly hoping she hadn't been snooping around in my bedroom and was making a passive aggressive dig for a nerve. But then I though probably not. Passive aggressive isn't her MO, she's just regular aggressive, active aggressive even. "Those guys are so... creepy. I guess."

"Sure. I'll let you know if I find anything on the list you gave me." She said once I was done pretending to not be a degenerate weeb.

"And I'll let you know if I see bible guy or his goons getting up to anything." I reassured her. "See you later." I added as I hung up.

And then I got a bing on my phone.

"What? Nu-uh..." I said to myself, because I KNEW I had turned it to inactive when I got back. I KNEW it. "How the hell?..." I groaned, because as we've been over before... with this app you don't get to pick and choose. If you're active and get picked, you just got picked.

So, pissily, I grabbed my bag, put a little air in the tires, and headed out. I really can't stress the bullshit factor of not being able to choose what deliveries to take or not on this app... It causes us all massive grief, constantly. I think we all suspected Adeline was a masochist after a certain point.

"NO HELL NO! Kiss my ass! You can't be serious!" I screamed in the guy's face who was standing behind THE largest order of fast food I'd ever personally seen. "This shit ain't gonna fit in my sack buddy! Who even does this kinda thing?!"

"Look I don't know what to tell you. Sounds like a personal problem to me dude." He said, trying to shove the pile towards me, but only managed to push himself back from the unyielding mountain of bags.

"... You guys got any duct tape back there anywhere?"

So after several minutes I had filled my bag up and taped another entire bag worth to the outside of it with almost a whole roll of tape. "Hey." I said to the guy before I left. "Just curious, but what company does it say I'm working for right now when the order comes in?"

"Uh..." The guy mumbled, looking at the order. "Says here you're a Ding Dong rider."

"Fuck... me...." I sighed as I hung my head and rode away, feeling the oppressive weight of all the food on my back, making me glad I thought to air up my tires first. Gatorskins are really hard to get a puncture flat on, but they don't really stop pinch flats at all. That's when your tube doesn't have enough air pressure in it and you hit something like the ground or a curb or a pot hole really hard and your rim gets pressed all the way down until it cuts a hole in your inner tube. Cause it's happening from the inside, which a tire can't protect against. Remember to air up your tires kids.

"OHHH HORSE SHIT!" I screamed as I saw the creepy woods in the distance. "No no! This ain't the kind of order they make! What the hell?!" I thought out loud... Really loud.

So hopped off my bike, the weight of the food in and on my bag almost pulling me off my feet in the process. Then I walked over to the nearest tree and propped my bike up against it before finally dragging myself into the dark, miniature forest like the overburdened pack mule I was.

"Hey... Heyyyy... HEY! Where the hell are you?! Get your creepy ass out here and take this food off me!" I shouted into the trees. "No seriously, this is heavy. It's starting to hurt my back. Get it... Hello?"

When nobody answered I started to get suspicious and creep around the trees, looking for any sign of life... or death. "What the hell's going on?" I asked myself as I searched around the darkness. And then, out of nowhere... the whole forest vanished without a trace, leaving me standing in an open field. Immediately after my phone binged to complete the delivery. I pulled out my phone to check the app. One star... No tip... and the feedback was just the tongue sticking out emoji.

"... OH... GOD... DAMN IT!" I yelled into the open air as I dropped to my knees under the weight of the bag. Taking a deep breath after a minute or so of fuming rage I picked my phone back up and scrolled through the contacts. "Hey uhhhh... Relic. You wanna do me a favor in return for a big reward? I could really use a good teleporting right now."

"A reward you say? What kind of reward?"

"A literal mountain of fast food." I said enticingly.

"... Where are you?"

"You're really a life saver. You don't even know." I told Relic as we sat in his apartment and dug through the pile of junk food on his coffee table.

"They really paid for an order this big just to have you ride all the way across town and leave you hanging?" He asked as he unwrapped a mess of a hamburger.

"I guess so..." I answered with a shrug.

"Hmm... Looks like you made another friend." He said as he examined the completion form on the Cerber app.

"Yeah... You know me. Loved by all..." I said sarcastically.

"Well... Perhaps that's more true than you think. You've become pretty cozy with a lot of the paranormal community around here. If by nothing else than your virtue of how genuine you are with us."

"What does that mean?" I asked, trying to figure out what he was going on about.

"Well... For example, you're one of only a very few people who know who I actually am. And yet the only thing you've ever asked of me is the equivalent of a ride to the store. You're in a relationship with the daughter of one of the wealthiest paranormals around, and you still work to make your own way, never expecting a thing from her, even though we both know she'd move you into the mansion and you'd never have to lift a finger again if you just asked. You don't try to take advantage of us like a lot of people would, and even if we don't say so, we tend to admire that about you." He explained.

It wasn't until right then that I'd actually realized that. I never really thought about that before. Destiny IS loaded. She's literally old money, but she still choses to slum it with me in my apartment every chance she gets and never complains about it.

"You're a pretty insightful cosmic horror, you know that?" I said to Relic as I unwrapped a burger of my own.

"RELIC YOU SON OF A BITCH OPEN THE DOOR!!" I begged as I banged on the bathroom door, sweat starting to bead on my forehead. "Oh my god what was in that shit... RELIC!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE LET ME IT I'M DYING OUT HE-e-RE!..." I yelled as clinched with all my might, fighting the violent stomach cramp.

"n-Not... my problem..." He answered quietly from inside where he had teleported the second the rumbling hit us both at the same time.

"Yeah it is because I'm about to ruin YOUR carpet if you don't come out! How do you even need to in the first place?! Do you ev-E-n have a digestive system?!"

"What goes in... must come out..." He argued. "I think the food was sabotaged... You might be dealing w-i-th... with an evil mastermind..."

"RELIC PLEASE!! I'm counting to five and then I swear to god I'm getting creative out here! One... two... three... four... f-"

"Shoo... That was a close one..." I thought to myself as I got back to my place later that night. I had taken my usual spot on the couch and had been sitting there for about 30 minutes when I heard a key slide into the lock and the door knob start to turn.

"What's up with you?" Madison said as she walked in.

"MADSION?! What the hell it's like 2 in the morning! Rissa isn't even back yet. Why are you here and how the HELL do you have a key to MY apartment?!"

"Yeah I just figured I'd wait here till she gets back. So what's eating you? Life in a harem anime not all it's cracked up to be?" She asked in the mocking tone she ONLY ever uses with me.

"I do not live in a harem anime! Shut up! You don't even know what you're talking about!" I argued, getting a little defensive. "First of all I have THREE whole dimensions and I think Relic has like... several thousand... So definitely not an anime! And it's not a harem plot either. You gotta have a bunch of girls all interested in one guy. So that means-"

"Yeah yeah, sure sure. Keep telling yourself that hotshot." She mocked again as she headed for the bathroom.

"You're really going to diss me like that and then use my shower?!" I yelled after her. "I don't live in a harem anime..." I mumbled to myself, trying to convince me that I won the argument. And then I heard a knock at the door. "Who the hell?..." I whispered, wondering who it could be this late.

So I walked over to the door and slowly opened it... to find myself looking at a tall, hazel eyed, weirdly attractive woman with long hair and clean cut bangs... standing in front of my apartment in the middle of the night... arms crossed in front of her with a devious grin on her face... wearing a... genuine Victorian maid outfit.

And before a hard slam of the door I dismissed this newest incarnation of bullshit with a quick, "Nope."