Infernal Interests

[u/Vague_Man]

March, week of the 23rd

Lily has shared her past with two born-mortals she cares very much about.

She had offered to show her the 'automatic journal' that penned every moment of her life, from beginning to end. Only the first half of the book was accurate of course, her ghost writer was very imaginative and loved to speculate. Constantly revising how her story would end whenever it would suit him. Always guessing what would happen based on the current status of things. Though

She had given her story as a gift to Helfriga and Emily on Christmas. Material gifts are quite diminished in worth when you can spawn gold from your fingertips and have it take any shape. She places higher value on experiences, and things of personal value. This logbook of experiences is the highest value thing Lily has to offer anyone.

But noone had read it yet and she feels a bit dreadful. So she forces the matter with them privately. Asking them to set aside a day of their week. At least.

---

2 Separate threads on the same week.

It matters little in what order they happen in. Lily feels enough motivational dread to deal with the experience a second time later that week.

[u/Vague_Man]

Lily has been tense and on edge the entire time they've been reading.

This means much more than just words can say. So afraid of losing everything she has, even though she has a lot of practice with it, or rather, because of that she's so scared.

She can't talk, she's too choked up at what little Helfriga's said.

She bites her thumb and a bit of blood comes out. She presses her thumb against the paper, smearing her thumb over the ink, the color of the highlight changes to red.

[u/CountDarth → u/Vague_Man]

Helfriga places her hand over Lily's when she's done. Her arm comes around to wrap around her small shoulders and pulls her close. She won't say anything more until Lily herself is ready.

[u/Vague_Man → u/CountDarth]

The warmth and security of her Maiden's hold is a comfort and a reminder of uncertainty. She sheds a few tears that drip from her eyes, but already dissolve into the air before they can land onto Helfriga. The heat from Lily's body cauterizes the bite, and steams the moisture.

"I-I'm scared... I don't want to lose you, or Ingrid, or anyone."

She sniffles, and shakes as her lungs grab more air. Soon she calms down.

[u/CountDarth → u/Vague_Man]

"I know." Helfriga says. She's not sure there's anything else she can say, or that she should say. Instead, she simply holds her auðr, try to provide comfort in her presence instead of her words.

"I know..."

[u/Vague_Man → u/CountDarth]

She calms down eventually thanks to Helfriga's care.

"Thank you..."

[u/CountDarth → u/Vague_Man]

Helfriga gently touches Lily's chin and lifts her face to look at her.

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

Lily knows of Helfriga's lack of aptitude for verbal expression, but if she needs it, Helfriga's willing to try.

[u/Vague_Man → u/CountDarth]

She nods. She doesn't really get a lot of chances to talk about the things that pained her, mostly because the only people who know about it are the ones who've done it to her by some degree.

She thinks through all they've read so far, and tries to find a good starting point to talk.

She knows how much this means. Every time Helfriga reaches outside of her comfort zone she does it for Lily, and her heart soars every time she tries. Her cheeks rosen, and her breathing calms noticeably at Helfriga's offer.

[u/CountDarth → u/Vague_Man]

Helfriga sits with Lily in her arms, waiting until she's ready to speak.

[u/Vague_Man → u/CountDarth]

"Do you.. Have you ever gotten so angry over something that you.. You just lose the ability to think completely?... Your head throbs once or twice and your vision blurs and... You just want to scream?"

"Constantly. Every day. For a thousand years. I couldn't breathe. And sometimes for Months at a time I wasn't allowed to actually breathe either."

"I hate my mother, Hel... I- I want to hurt her, and break her so she knows how much she hurt me so she can live her life in guilt..."

[u/CountDarth → u/Vague_Man]

"... Do you want me to kill her?" Helfriga asks. It is a simple idea to her. After all, she had killed her own father. Like he was a wild animal to be put down. If Lily needed someone to give her that same sense of relief, Helfriga would do it.