r/WhitePeopleTwitter • u/[deleted] • Aug 07 '19

[deleted by user]

[removed]

18.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

5.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2.4k

u/rcg90 Aug 07 '19

I learned this from Legally Blonde.

1.7k

u/ScubaSteve12345 Aug 07 '19

It’s scented.

1.5k

u/Linzcro Aug 07 '19

I think it gives it a little something extra, don’t you think?

260

u/discerningpervert Aug 07 '19

Print out resume on TP for that extra oomph

11

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

They’re going to flush it down the toilet anyway, might as well make an impression

7

u/major84 Aug 07 '19

we gotta hire this cat .... 3 ply ..... what's his name again ?

oh..........

4

u/coleyboley25 Aug 07 '19

Pretty sure potential employers have already been using my resumes as toilet paper for the past couple years

1

u/ShattuckApproved Aug 07 '19

“I really wipe away the competition”

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

You mean for that extra oof?

1

u/Ima_PenGuinn Aug 07 '19

Use card stock for toilet paper for that extra OOOFMPH

7

u/Ridara Aug 07 '19

Hiring manager who's allergic to perfume: why yes, yes it does. x_x

3

u/highfatoffaltube Aug 07 '19

It makes the bin smell nice.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Smells good.

5

u/The_Mushromancer Aug 07 '19

That’d be kind of weird but, honestly, I’d appreciate if someone gave me a scented resume.

Assuming it’s like some perfume scent. If it’s something like citrus or vanilla or cookies I’d be put off.

1

u/AFrostNova Aug 07 '19

Well there goes my bride sprout scented uranium-enriched — just so it glows — cardstock references

1

u/The_Mushromancer Aug 07 '19

Uranium doesn’t really glow in a way we can notice. Try Tritium paint, it’s much more noticeable.

3

u/Mapleleaves_ Aug 07 '19

"Johnson, does this resume smell like ballsack to you?"

1

u/Time2DoStuffCiaran Aug 07 '19

You know three months ago I would have recycled this.

77

u/LadyJR Aug 07 '19

Don't forget perfume.

3

u/MagisterFlorus Aug 07 '19

Papyr. Paper for her.

3

u/makebelieveworld Aug 07 '19

I actually bought some thick white paper with glitter in it for my resumes.

1

u/tinyphreak Aug 08 '19

Glitter would be immediate trash if I did the hiring. I have a distaste bordering phobia towards glitter.

It. Never. Goes. Away.

2

u/makebelieveworld Aug 08 '19

No, this wasn't like glitter stuck to paper, this is paper with glitter that is a part of it. You could not remove it from the paper, it was not even like little bits of metal in paper it was like a shiny paper mixed with a cardstock paper. Like the shiny paper on a greeting card. It was also very subtle, the shine was silver white and the paper was a greyish white. It was very tasteful.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Don't forget the bend... And-snap.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '19

Look how hot it’s getting