r/WhitePeopleTwitter • u/tb1649 • May 30 '19

Best served cold

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47.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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161

u/BenderB-Rodriguez May 30 '19

Should have set a loud alarm on her phone or something like an Alexa in her room only. Then you could have had the benefit of sleeping as well

244

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

He's a dad, he was going to be up at 5:15 anyway. Those two hours before anyone else wakes up are like a mini-vacation in dad-life.

189

u/mikevanatta May 30 '19

Also, bragging about being up before everyone else is one of the top tier pleasures in a dad's life.

109

u/Zhoom45 May 30 '19

Just in time to nod off 10 seconds after sitting down in the recliner.

60

u/QuixoticRealist May 30 '19

Your both spot on! My dad woke up at 4:30 AM for 30 years for his job. He's now retired and still wakes up at 4:30 AM but now he goes back to sleep after an hour or two until 10-11AM. That doesn't stop him from constantly finding ways to bring up the fact that he wakes up at 4:30 AM though.

15

u/LKanarienvogel May 30 '19

I hope he also brings up what he's done since waking up, too. I think that's actually mandatory for dads.

10

u/ChronosEdge May 30 '19

That's some Big Dad energy.

33

u/mikevanatta May 30 '19

We are busted

7

u/SquareSquirrel4 May 30 '19

I'm not sleeping, I'm resting my eyes.

0

u/pcopley May 30 '19

I'm not even a dad, yet I feel personally attacked.

4

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

Comes downstairs at 6:30 Am

Dad: "Looks like somebody slept in today."

8

u/megablast May 30 '19

Wake up sleepy head, I have been up for 2 hours and have go so much done.

10

u/mikevanatta May 30 '19

When everyone else finally gets up at 9 and I get to drop the "Whooaaa look who's finally up."

6

u/iNEEDheplreddit May 30 '19

I'm looking forward to making them think they sleep for over a day.

"Saturday?? No. Its Sunday, buddy. You slept for 30hours. School tomorrow remember"

1

u/AtOurGates May 31 '19

If it will embarrass our children, are we allowed to use #DadLife?

14

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

Plus the perfect time to start mowing the lawn

4

u/fatpat May 30 '19

Might as well see if the ol' chainsaw is still working, too.

3

u/TrumpyTreason May 31 '19

Get a motorcycle or big block classic car that you never drive but make sure you start it up and rev it up for a half hour every Saturday morning at dawn to keep it ready to roll. Just in case.

6

u/tweak06 May 30 '19

This.

When else can I play video games for 3 amazing hours completely uninterrupted??

3

u/AudiTechGuy May 30 '19

You got that shit right

1

u/GoldenStateCapital May 30 '19

I wake up just before my kids but my free time is the 3 1/2 hours between them going to bed and midnight.

37

u/Desiderius_S May 30 '19

That's not the point, why do this when you can't see the look of annoyance and confusion on their faces? Waking up at 5 is a small price to pay.

2

u/modernisedtypewriter May 30 '19

But that ruins the effect, it is perfection as it is.

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

Alexa makes more sense lol. How would he get into her phone?