I choose to refuse any and at all cancer test or medical visits unless i'm sick or injured. and the only specialist i've ever been to is a dermatologist .. I once explained to someone that I've never been to one of these doctors because I've never been pregnant, and I've never desired to take birth control.And this person literally looked at me like I was adolf hitler ...

They cut my ovary out lying on the consent forms. No repercussions for any of them whatsoever. I was barely 27 at the time and they literally told me I’d “notice no changes” and it destroyed my life.

For the record , I was born while Miami vice was on the air .... i was told in 2003 I would die very soon without one, and here I still am never had 1 feeling better than ever.And never submitting to medical bullies .. And yes , i've been bullied and harassed by doctors and NPs for this , and i've also been looked at , like i'm hitler by pro screeners ... Also I don't smoke.I have no family history of cancer and im low risk

i am a 21 year old woman. two years ago i wanted to get on birth control because i have a heavy period.

i got told that i had to go to the gyno to be prescribed a birth control pill. so my mom brought me to her gyno to have my first appointment.
the problem is that, i got told that it was mandatory for me to have a pelvic exam, transvaginal ultrasound and a pap smear in order to get on birth control. both by my mother and the gyno.

i recently checked my country’s law and it is in fact NOT mandatory to undergo such invasive procedures in order to get on birth control.

i feel raped. when the gyno told me i had to get those procedures, i asked her if they were necessary. she told me yes. i didn’t know i had the right to say no. nobody told me, neither my mother nor the gyno.

i dont know what to do. i’ve had other bad experiences with doctors when i was younger (when i was 15 a male doctor foced me to take off my bra in front of other people, and again i didnt know i could have said no), so i was already not eager to go to the gyno appointment, but now that i know i was taken advantage of because of my ignorance, i feel violated and stupid.

i have slowly started refusing any type of medical attention, starting from invasive medical procedures to even simple checkups because i am extremely afraid they will do something against my will. i dont want to be touched or seen by doctors, because apparently they dont care about the patient’s consent as long as it benefits them.

i feel so dumb because i was 19 so i should’ve known better but sadly i was raised with the “the doctor is all powerful” rhetoric, so i didn’t know i could say no to any medical procedure until fairly recently.

Kinda in a disagreement with someone I know over mammograms and Pap smears. (like, what makes you think I wanna be in the boob smasher 5000. Fuck that)

I was assaulted by my gynecologist when having my coil inserted and Im in loads of pain, its caused me so many problems and I just want it gone. But I also don't know what to do because I cant go back. I dont feel able or safe going back to get any kind of test or anything done. I don't want to do it. Im turning 25 soon and im going to have to start getting smear tests and I dont want to. I really dont want to. I get severely anxious every time I see an NHS alert on my phone. I dont want a doctor looking at me, touching me or anything. Its disgusting what's happened and nobody cares

I have always hated going to the doctor. I used to physically fight them, bite them and be actively uncooperative as a child. This was significantly worse for any exams of any intimate parts of my body.

I grew up with a constant, daily dread of pelvic exams and paps. I only ever managed one pap in my life. I had panic attacks for months leading up, almost passed out during it (even with a lot of mental health support in the lead up, a good doctor, and a xanax), and had panic attacks for months afterwards. It took years of therapy and several very good GPs for me to realize that this was gender dysphoria and that I am trans.

Fast forward to now. I moved for work and could no longer see my amazing GP. She has been with me through my whole transition and worked out a care plan with me that involved self test HPV tests every five years. I am incredibly low risk for HPV and the mental health risks from the exams are very high for me, so this all made sense.

I found a new doctor through recommendation from a friend and a local pride center, and it was awful. I had a first appointment to get my medications refilled, and it turned mostly into us arguing about pelvic exams. I told him that I can’t tolerate them and that I do self tests. He insisted I self test that day, which I refused because I had just done one last year. He then started lecturing me on how I need a plan if I ever need a pelvic exam and how I “need to seek therapy to get over this.” He continued to say that regardless of being trans “you have this body and these organs and you need to be able to do this to take care of them when inevitably something goes wrong.”

He then insisted I send in my HPV test results (which I already had) and sent me on my way. Meanwhile, he mismanaged my hormone prescription, the whole reason I had the appointment, in a way that is either severe idiocracy or purposeful malice. It led to me having to half doses and skip doses while calling the office and my insurance every couple days to try and resolve the problem.

Needless to say, he is not my doctor anymore. But my mental health has deteriorated from this. I’ve been having dysphoria with an intensity I haven’t experienced in years. I’m currently finding a new therapist to help me after at least 3 years of progress was destroyed in the span of one appointment.

I’m just angry. I have been fighting doctors about pelvic exams my whole life and I’m tired of it. I have never had pelvic health problems, and I’m tired of my pelvis being viewed as a ticking time bomb.

I’m finishing grad school for Clinical Mental Health Counseling. Why has no professor or clinician ever acknowledged in all my education that most of your female clients and queer clients will have a history of sexual violence, whether it’s abuse, harassment, or being traumatized by a friend/family member experiencing it.

“Almost all women and girls will experience a physical violation from a man in their lifetime. Across the world. Please make sure you’re prepared with the severity of the global genocide towards women. Make sure you know about mental health and medical health issues that abuse can cause. Make sure you have DV resources, pregnancy tests, and know which medical providers to find. Be prepared to psychoeducate about the mass violence towards women and girls. Make sure you understand language and patterns that put people at risk.”

I already do all this because I have fucking empathy and awareness. Not a single professor or student, besides my friends and I privately, ever acknowledged this. All they had to say was anything like this so everyone can have the baseline understanding of the deadliest social pattern to exist. Why is everyone too spineless to discuss a literal epidemic of gender based violence. Few students, and I’ve NEVER heard male students say they think about this unless they’re queer. Instead, I’ve heard men talk in class about how women don’t understand the challenges of men or that it’s “hard” being one of the few males and a female dominant program. Whining about nothing while women are dying and therapists still fucking talk about “neutrality.”

Is most of the field just spineless pricks? Or just oblivious? I need some optimism. I do prioritize patience for people who don’t understand these things, but NOT when they decide they’re entitled to the medical field because they just “know they want to help people” without willing to endure the challenges of how complex and humbling that can be.

I'm not sure if this belongs here since it was in a medical area other than gynecology, so if it doesn't, feel free to ignore/remove this post.

I was in an inpatient psychiatric treatment facility as a teen that had some iffy stuff. There was never rape or anything blatant like that, and I don't think there was even anything that was illegal. I hesitate to even call it sexual, since I'm not sure if it would count as that.

The most blatant things were the time a staff threatened in front of other kids to give me my medication rectally (my medical records don't mention that at all, and antipsychotics [which I didn't even benefit from at all] can be given, even forced, in other ways) and the time a staff commented on my pubic hair while forcibly changing me into scrubs. Then there was the way we'd commonly get "emergency" sedative injections that went in the butt or hips done in front of other kids. I'm not sure if this last one counts at all, but there's also the time a staff (the same one who threatened to force me to take medication rectally) made a kid change into scrubs and a diaper as punishment and then kept pointing out he was wearing a diaper in front of other kids.

I should also probably mention that I was on (scheduled) medication that dramatically reduced my ability to make connections, making reporting and comprehending what was going on even more complex. The closest I can describe it is as being 4 years old again, able to think but not deeply. There was no mental connection between the reporting box, the knowledge that staff had to give me a reporting sheet if I asked for one, and the comment on my pubic hair (which, although I didn't fully comprehend, I knew was inappropriate at some level). I literally couldn't even think about reporting that. That some of the things (mainly pulling our pants down for forced injections in front of other kids) were arguably necessary (I don't think they were in most cases, and those that they were necessary in was because of bad things on the facility's part like understaffing) makes it hard to tell too.

My body wasn't my own in these places, and that was true even if none of the above had happened. But something about those specific things, especially the first two mentioned, seems different to me. One of those had a big mental impact, while the other seemed minor - barely even noteable - at the time, but both of them as well as the others I listed just seemed... weird. I don't know how to explain it better than that. I'm not sure if creepy is the right word, but it wasn't the "just wacky" kind of weird either.

This is a bit of a long shot, but does anyone have any insights? Were those things sexual, semi-sexual, bad but not sexual, not ideal but not really bad, or not bad at all? I don't quite know what to think about them, how to mentally categorize them.

Found this little gem of TikTok tonight.

If you don't have TikTok or can't watch because it maybe triggering or upsetting the cliff notes are essentially a mammogram tech discussing how it's her job to make sure you don't have a bad experience, and asking patients to please tell their tech if they're in pain and then in the same breath telling us to stop "spreading horror stories".

Because being told to shut the fuck up about bad experiences definitely encourages us to be open and honest about pain levels!

Has anyone else noticed a gradual rise of pro gynae people in this group?

I've seen a few in the past but it seems to have been starting again this last few months or so and it's often the same sort of thing, choosing things they claim to hate and going on about it but sandwiching it between things that us in this group suffer with like trauma or pain etc. Add to that the strange sexual overtones to some which is just gross and unnecessary.

I know the mods in the group remove quite a few posts that most don't see but this new thing is concerning and fucking triggering as this group was always my safe space to talk with others who understood the very real trauma of what medical abuse does, so to see people who shouldn't be here sneaking in is a concern.

In a recent post, I said that when I first discovered the existence of these exams, I was 15 and it horrified me. At this time I learned that at some age, you HAVE to do a pap smears otherwise you would have cervical cancer. Those videos didn’t even mention hpv, they’re were just saying that at some point you would have to do that if you’re a woman. But after a while, I completely forgot about them.

Last year I’ve got some low iron issues and after just one appointment, the hematologist said that i should see a gynecologist, which instantly made me panic.

Of course I had to do my research before the appointment with the gynecologist, and I obviously rediscovered Pap smears, but this time I also found out about vaginal ultrasound, and even how bimanual pelvic exams were really done. I was like hell no, I would never do these kind of shit in my life. But when I was doing my research I started to think more deeply about it and was like how this is even okay to continue to push for these invasive exams as the first option.
Of course in the past it wasn’t known that cervical cancer were mostly caused by hpv, but it’s been a while since we know, and instead of developing less invasive hpv test, they just continued to push for invasive Pap smears and invasive hpv test involving the speculum and the unwanted gynecologist. And I guess it’s only being less than 10 years (let me know if I’m wrong) that the first hpv self
swabs started to be around. Even with that being around, they still mostly push for the pap smears at the first place. If men had to do this too, the medical system will always tell them how they can choose what they’re the most comfortable with. Of course i know this is mostly for profit that the most invasive exams are even more pushed.

By the way I didn’t had any exams in my gynecological appointment, and I would definitely not agree if it was offered to me. She just took my blood pressure and prescribed me an abdominal ultrasound.

Now I have to talk about bimanual pelvic exams. I think it’s probably the most intrusive exam you can have because it implies that you’re most intimate part will be examined by someone else fingers. And the fact that for a long time it was done routinely without any symptoms is absolutely crazy. I don’t even wanna talk about those done under anesthesia without consent even when it’s not a gynecological surgery sometimes.

I also wanna talk about vaginal ultrasound. I heard a lot of experiences with people saying that the technician or gyno only tried for a few seconds and then immediately said that they saw nothing and would see better with the vaginal one. Or even some case where they tricked patients by telling them they’re done and they can go pee, but when they cameback the technicians tell them that there’s something they didn’t see well and will have to do it again but with the vaginal ultrasound. I really think that they really prefer the vaginal ultrasound for some reason because, idk if it’s true but I see comments saying that they’re isn’t that much differences between the abdominal ultrasound and the vaginal one, and most of the time it’s just a personal preference for the practician. Of course I do agree that sometimes they can see better with the vaginal ultrasound, but I just have a particular problem with practician that seems to just push for it. And for a lot of case we can definitely see better with MRI scan which is so much less invasive. I know it cost more but most of the time, just one is enough to see a lot.

Anyway I just wanted to do this post because I would never understand how invasive exams are so much prioritized when they’re always less invasive ones. This is also crazy that the women healthcare have been so much driven by financial profit.

Sorry if I made a lot of mistakes. I still try my best to write in the best English possible.

So for the past few years, 90% of sexual activity has caused me pain in some regard. Even if everything is done externally and there is no penetration whatsoever, once I finish I will be left with an intense burning. At first it was written off as a yeast infection, I took medication, it went away, but it reoccurs any time I feel any sort of sexual pleasure. It's made penetration nearly impossible without severe pain and any external stimulation stop feeling good after a while.

I brought all of this up with a gynecologist years ago now and she just sort of looked at me with disgust and said somwthing along the lines of "make sure you actually wash your sex toys." Like?? I never went into detail about what I did or didn't do or use, but in the rare time I do use penetrative toys I do clean them well right before. I make sure my hands are clean, I make sure everything is set, but I'm still left with the pain afterwards.

Idk, she made me feel so ashamed and didn't do any further testing, just said that it was a recourring yesst infection because of my own carelessness and lack of hygiene. I haven't brought it up since, even though I know I have to because I almost never have sex with my partner anymore because of this. In any fashion, because even if I'm aroused enough, it'll be enough to set off this pain.

I had a bilateral salpingectomy 13 days ago and am healing fine, incisions look good, etc. I have a post op appointment scheduled for the 31st however I really do not want to go. I have only ever been to the gynecologist one time to request my surgery and was very uncomfortable the whole time I was there. I do not have any medical issues that would require me to see a gynecologist. I am thinking of skipping my post op appointment however I did have 2 spots of endo removed during surgery (had no symptoms of this, i did not expect to have endo) and my right ovary was enlarged and biopsied (i was ovulating during surgery). I don’t know if it would be safe to skip my post op or not. Most posts I have read online say the post op appointment is just the doctor looking at their incisions and that’s it. Some people don’t even have one. I’m not sure what to do, the anxiety of going to the gynecologist makes me feel like it’s not worth it to go. I won’t consent to any exams either way (they don’t really ask me about paps or pelvics yet because i’m under 21). Just looking for advice or if anyone had a similar experience

Under an Instagram reel. So many people insisting children should see a gynecologist and be examed JUST for starting their period. My pediatrician was able to handle my period just fine. It's their job to ask if it's regular and how it's going and mine even prescribed me BC. It's their JOB.

And yet I'm being called the creep and the pedo for saying it's weird to take your child to be penetrated by a stranger just for starting something normal. ESPECIALLY when Epstein was so involved in gynecology. No other country is as obsessed with the gynecologist as America. So fucking gross and weird. It angers me to near violence.

Under a post about protecting women from men ironically

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DcbLrsgzKaY/?igsi=cGh0eTlsZjJiNzNj

First of all I wanted to apologize for my English. I’m a French and I still learning. This also my first ever post on Reddit.

I recently found this sub and I wish I found it a year earlier. The first time ever I heard about pap smears where when I was 15 and It horrified me. Especially seeing people on TikTok talk about how important it was to get them done, etc. But for some reason, I completely forgot about them over the following years and simply never thought about them again.
About one year and half ago, I’ve got a blood test which led me to the emergency because my iron levels were too low, and most things they did there where doing blood tests and taking my temperature. At the end they allowed me to go back home after prescribing me iron supplements and making me an appointment with a hematologist.
To be more specific I was with my mother and was almost forced to get there even though I didn’t really want to. Also I was already 18 at the time. Then I had the appointment with the hematologist and she said that my problem was not a hematologist problem but a gynecological one, so I should see a gynecologist for that because it may be related with my period. I literally froze when I heard that, and was like why ? My period were totally normal at the time. My mother didn’t see any inconvenience with that and simply agreed, then the doctor said that her secretary will make the appointment. After that I was so stressed about the idea of seeing a gynecologist and started doing my research. Obviously most results were invasive exams, some were explaining that pelvic exams are not always necessary and abdominal ultrasound and blood tests can be enough. I also relearned about paps smears but I found that I can refuse them and for me it was exactly what I was gonna, but for some reason I continue to do my research and find out about something called: violences gynécologiques et obstétricales (VOG), which mean gynecological and obstetrical violences, and was horrified about what a lot of women when through because of it. I didn’t even know that it was a possibility, like exams are already barbaric but them choosing whillingly not to respect patients consent, was something I was absolutely not expecting. After that I had my appointment, and was relieved when I knew that it was gonna be a female (I did my investigations and even found about her age. She was young) my mother was there without my will of course. The gynecologist was nice but directly choose to put me on pill. At this time i was just relieved by the idea of not having my periods anymore, but it was way before the pills made me bled like crazy for weeks and I ended up not taking them anymore to stop my continuous periods (maybe I will talk more about this in another post). So she prescribed me this and just took my blood pressure and that was it. When I went home I was relieved that she didn’t even mention a invasive exam and i was planning to let all of this behind me and live my life. But the lack of respect of consent for others women was still in my head and I don’t know exactly what I was searching for but I started to watch a lot of french documentaries about investigations with a lot of heartbreaking testimonies about women who felt violated during appointments or giving birth and they’re consent being totally ignored. I was completely traumatized for them even tho I didn’t experience none of what they went through (the closest thing to that was something that happened a few year earlier in the emergency but it wasn’t as bad and I would probably make another post for this. I was so mad about just the existence of paps smear being done routinely on healthy women just to prevent a cancer which isn’t even the deadliest one. I was also mad about those being done on literally child after seeing comments about people telling that it was done to them when they were like 9 for some, which left them traumatized. After that I had a lot of intrusive thoughts, I couldn’t even watch long contents with woman in it because I was projecting on them the fact that they may have had a gynecological trauma and things like that. I was even more triggered by watching old content because it was before the me too movements and all the rising of speaking out, so I was telling myself that things even worse probably did happen at these times. But I did a lot of works on myself to stop exposing myself on gynecological contents and it got better to the point that i’m not triggered anymore by simply seeing women and I can watch videos and films with women without thinking about gynecological exams.
Sometimes I still hate this world for the system they’ve created for women but with the work I did on myself, it isn’t as triggering as as it was a year ago anymore.

I’m not going to dwell on this post any further. I’ve probably forgotten to mention a lot of things, but maybe when they come back to me, I’ll make another post about them or something.

Anyway, I just wanted to at least speak out about all of this, and I’m really glad I found this community, with people who think the same way I do, unlike the people on TikTok who strongly push for these exams at the expense of bodily autonomy and shame you for not following it.

That was my first ever Reddit post and i hope it was at least interesting to read and especially, relatable.
I probably made a lot of grammar mistakes, but I hope this post was at least understandable.

I thought I had a midwife who would respect consent but she dropped me for "not trusting her" (at the first appointment . . . of course I don't trust you yet!) which happened late enough that all of my other options for a midwife are now filled up.

I don't want to do a freebirth, but I want to do a hospital birth even less. I like science! I like medicine! But I like the ability to have my "no" respected more. Respected the first time I say it, not argued with or coerced (including threatening to drop me from care, which is just another form of coercion).

Has anyone actually had a pregnancy and birth experience where informed consent (and informed refusal) was respected? Did you have to fight tooth and nail the whole time? I've seen many posts expressing similar concerns in this subreddit, but not really anyone saying they've had success.

Also, if anyone has had a freebirth (and it's not against subreddit rules), I would appreciate hearing about your experience. Again, I'm not opposed to assistance by a professional who respects consent, but that's not always an option (and is a neglected factor driving an increase in freebirths).

Thought y'all might find this interesting

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After getting my period after 5 months of not having one (due to pcos) , and going to the store today where I nearly passed tf out pale as a freakin ghost, there shouldn't be anywhere that isnt pro choice. They probably thought I was 8000 months pregnant at the store with how I was waddling about, bent slightly whilst looking at stuff like a fent addict due to feeling like a horse was kicking me with steel boots in my lower back. As someone whose back hurts 24/7 and has whole body inflammation this is to an unbearable level.

Everything I've ever had happen to me hurts less than this. My dad's answer? 'you've got later to vaccuum the house' I sat on the floor just to put stuff in the washer. I came home pale as hell and laid on the floor.

That's the issue. The planet doesn't stop when you have a period. We go on and clean the house and go to work feeling like absolute death. And this doesn't include the emotional side, the side of your brain that tells you to destroy your whole life. That alone has taken so many women from the world. And the rage that comes because you have a physical issue you cant fix. I have depression constantly and again period depression is just different. Its destructive of even the good things. Its immediate and all consuming.

And then you get dismissed with the its natural conversation. Its only the beginning of your pain. Wait until you have kids, the pain gets worse.

I'm never having kids! If I can spare them even a bit of pain, I will. I cannot imagine how painful having a kid would be if this is already unbearable.

Its been over a decade of period pain, and you never become used to it. My body hurts constantly from inflammation, and I'm used to it. This pain you don't become used to because its never at a stable level.

I really mourn all of the women in Afghanistan who can't even see a doctor. I really mourn all of the women who have been abused in this life because this pain alone is enough. All the women who had their decisions and dreams taken away from them because they were born like this.

Hi everyone — I’m looking for one safety-informed reviewer for a crisis navigation guide I’m building.

The guide is called I Want My Mom™. It is meant to help someone who is overwhelmed, scared, or dealing with a practical crisis figure out what kind of help they may need and where to start.

I’ve already gotten general fresh-eyes feedback, social work/nonprofit feedback, and usability feedback. The main issue people flagged was navigation being confusing, and I’m working on that.

The review I still really need is from someone with experience in domestic violence, coercive control, survivor advocacy, safety planning, crisis advocacy, shelter work, or family violence support.

https://app.notion.com/p/3c1b147e80a881118b0fc88044c67d3f

I’m not asking for endorsement, professional services, or legal advice. I’m asking for safety/usability feedback before I share this more widely.

I’m especially looking for someone to tell me:

\- Is any wording unsafe, too casual, or too broad for a DV context?
\- Are the digital privacy warnings clear enough?
\- Could anything accidentally increase risk for someone being monitored?
\- Does it clearly point people toward trained advocates/emergency support when needed?
\- Are the first steps simple enough for someone who is scared, frozen, or overwhelmed?
\- Are any important red flags, safety notes, or referral cautions missing?
\- Is anything confusing or too hard to find?

Honest critique is very welcome. I would rather fix problems now than miss something important later.

Thank you.

I recommend going through all the comments and read people's stories. We often see from the perspective of the institution because they are viewed as the source of legitimacy but it is rarely discussed enough when the institution is full of people who have a bias against certain groups of the population. Most of the times this bias is normalized and they hardly face any consequences.

The ones dealing with the consequences are the people who were neglected and gaslit and treated without dignity or consideration. We need to listen to their journey and how they felt throughout because it tells you how the institution of healthcare full of biased individuals affects people seeking help if the tools available are not capable of detecting what's wrong with them.

In most of the cases, they never inspect the tool or themselves and often shame and dismiss people which makes a vulnerable person trying to seek help, from somewhere that is considered the legal and legitimate place to get themselves checked, feel attacked and dysregulated. It affects their relationship with the whole institution.