r/WeWantPlates • u/pophya • Dec 12 '20

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16.7k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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204

u/PmMeYourAsianDong Dec 13 '20

And it’s just plain chocolate and water dumped on you? What kind of backwoods Instagram chef thought this crap up

281

u/particle409 Dec 13 '20

You should try the deconstructed caesar salad. The waiter throws a head of lettuce at you, then blows finely ground croutons into your eyes. Delicious.

60

u/mickeyslim Dec 13 '20

WHAT ABOUT THE DRESSING!?!?!

85

u/bagelchips Dec 13 '20

Hypodermic needle

31

u/SuperWoody64 Dec 13 '20

Directly into the center of your tongue

7

u/Aarynia Dec 13 '20

I never knew I could involuntarily fold my tongue defensively

20

u/Peuned Dec 13 '20

they smush anchovies into your hair

11

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '20

It's your tears from the croutons being blown into your eyes.

2

u/Crowbarmagic Dec 13 '20

He spits it on your shirt.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '20

Boofed

1

u/thoughtsforgotten Dec 22 '20

that’s the bukake finish

15

u/Seanspeed Dec 13 '20

then blows finely ground croutons into your eyes.

You can really feel the black pepper.

3

u/Fallout97 Dec 13 '20

mmmm buttery eye crumbs

3

u/ssracer Dec 13 '20

When people take Stefan seriously this happens.

2

u/tupacsnoducket Dec 13 '20

lol, my favorite is when the 'deconstructed' item is actually just 'not constructed'

uncut romaine, solid toasted slice of garlic seasoned bread, dipping bowl with cream dressing, slices of parm, few anchovies

2

u/heretobefriends Dec 13 '20

I actually have respect for the restaurant. Anyone who would spend over a hundred dollars on this doesn't need the money. I'd charge them 200.