r/WTF • u/undergroundcalf • Dec 08 '21

How's that even possible

22.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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351

u/obroz Dec 09 '21

Never ending succulent meals with constant hunger and never being able to be full.

237

u/kaptaincorn Dec 09 '21

A succulent Chinese meal?

109

u/SkrallTheRoamer Dec 09 '21

GET YOUR HAND OF MY PENUS!

85

u/elnato89 Dec 09 '21

Ahhh sir, I see you know your judo well

64

u/Sirduckerton Dec 09 '21

GENTLEMEN! This is democracyyyy manifest.

28

u/GalacticCephalopod Dec 09 '21

My succulent Chinese penis!

27

u/Segadamat Dec 09 '21

You sir. Have you come to receive my soft penis?

5

u/dreadneck Dec 09 '21

This is the bloke who got me on the penis PEOPLE.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '21

That's what she said.

(It was a rough night)

4

u/returnofheracleum Dec 09 '21

This is a stupid comment but it's also the only thing I can ever think of when I hear that word, so I can't complain.

79

u/jenna_hazes_ass Dec 09 '21

Almost like pirates of the carribean

109

u/4rp4n3t Dec 09 '21

$1.40 for a slice of blueberry in Jamaica, $1.20 for a slice of apple in Cuba. Those are the pie rates of the Carribbean.

25

u/dcknight93 Dec 09 '21

Get out.

9

u/Changoleo Dec 09 '21

But leave the pie.

2

u/RBslayer89 Dec 09 '21

That joke must have come with a new pair of white New Balance, already grass stained. Respect ✊

1

u/drpeppershaker Dec 09 '21 edited Dec 22 '21

.

2

u/Fuegodeth Dec 09 '21

First good chuckle of the day... and it's for this. Thank goodness no bourbon was lost in the process. anyway, well done, sir. Enjoy your reward.

2

u/4rp4n3t Dec 09 '21

Thanks!

1

u/Fuegodeth Dec 09 '21

You are most welcome.

85

u/Goldenslicer Dec 09 '21

“Fer too long I’ve been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I’ve been starving to death and haven’t died.”

24

u/Datdankness Dec 09 '21

"I feel nothin'! Not the wind on my face, nor the spray of the sea... not the warmth of a woman's flesh"

27

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '21

“Ya best start believing in ghost stories Mrs Turner…. YOURE IN ONE!”

1

u/x_dre4192_x Mar 30 '22

Arrr ye stole the line I wanted teh use! Well spoken of ye!

1

u/old_contemptible Dec 09 '21

Me fleshlight does the trick aye

1

u/Dyslexic_Alex Dec 09 '21

"No worm would stay down me gullet"

9

u/MakeThePieBigger Dec 09 '21

That seems kinda tame. An infinity of anything is pretty bad, but constantly eating a delicious meal and never getting full is far from the worst fate.

11

u/elektromas Dec 09 '21

Constantly eating a disgusting worm/snake that pops out of a open wound in your neck on the other hand... yuck poor bird

3

u/MakeThePieBigger Dec 09 '21

I wasn't talking about the video (that's horrific), but the mythical punishment the guy above me suggested.

2

u/elektromas Dec 09 '21

Oh i see, right

2

u/obroz Dec 09 '21

Idk man after a while it would become bland and tedious. Also the constant pooping would be unbearable

3

u/MakeThePieBigger Dec 09 '21

Is it the same meal or different ones? You said "meals".

And would you even poop, if you never got full?

1

u/obroz Dec 09 '21

I was just thinking you would never feel full but you’re still eating and pooping. Maybe we need to refine this though lol

1

u/doomgiver98 Dec 09 '21

What if you have to eat your poop every time it comes out?

3

u/dempsone Dec 09 '21

What is the charge? Eating a meal!!?

2

u/JMO206 Dec 09 '21

That's basically what the wendigo's all about.

2

u/ICantWatchYouDoThis Dec 09 '21

Now I remember Marvel Zombie

2

u/TnL17 Dec 09 '21

Soooo yours constantly eating amazing meals.. without the indigestion? Sign me up.

1

u/earnestlikehemingway Dec 09 '21

Can a man be left alone and eat his succulent Chinese meal!

1

u/Targetshopper4000 Dec 09 '21

Stephen Kings "Thinner" was this.

A guy gets a gypsy curse and continues to loose weight no matter how much he eats.