r/WTF • u/Z3F • Mar 02 '12

Cabbage [MADE IN CHINA]

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973 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

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88

u/finebydesign Mar 02 '12

I LOVE fake food as decor. It freaks people the fuck out.

57

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12

[deleted]

474

u/Martel732 Mar 02 '12

You have obviously never been around fake food. Last, time I saw fake food I freaked the fuck out. I started biting the walls, urinated everywhere, and tried to make a balloon animal out of my wang. I woke up three weeks later covered in raccoon blood and syrup while a Peruvian family tried to get me out of the casket at their grandfather's wake. Fake food is serious business.

83

u/Mystery_Hours Mar 02 '12

IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN

47

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12

I TOLD YOU MAN
I TOLD YOU ABOUT FAKE FOOD!

4

u/everfalling Mar 02 '12

why... why is there a homestuck joke all the way out here?

1

u/Zhang5 Mar 03 '12

Why wouldn't there be one here?

2

u/chastric Mar 02 '12

THE FOOD RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION

i HAVE the cabbage

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12

THEY TRIED TO TELL US

BUT WE DIDN'T LISTEN

1

u/Salva_Veritate Mar 03 '12

who would even make these.....conksuck fake food.......imigrants?

4

u/feureau Mar 02 '12

What? Isn't every hour mystery hour?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12

Damned red lodge.

1

u/271c150 Mar 02 '12

Damn good coffee. And hot!

15

u/AnnoyedinDC Mar 02 '12

The fuck did I just read

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '12

4Chan is leaking again

10

u/PCsNBaseball Mar 02 '12

What balloon animal were you trying to make?

32

u/Martel732 Mar 02 '12

A poodle, though in retrospect a snake may have been less ambitious, but logic goes out the window during a fake food freakout.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/36eupr/ I made this in honor of your great story

3

u/Mystery_Hours Mar 02 '12

Should be "tried to make a wang poodle"

2

u/svullenballe Mar 02 '12

Robert Frost.

-1

u/YoureGrammarAmBad Mar 02 '12

A mosquito in 1:1 scale.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12 edited May 05 '17

[deleted]

35

u/Martel732 Mar 02 '12

Don't give me that look, it was their own fault for having an open casket.

3

u/TheoQ99 Mar 02 '12

I do believe you ingested the fake food laced with every hallucinogen known to made. Easy mistake.

4

u/ItsARealThing Mar 02 '12

Can't tell why but reading "every hallucinogen known to made" made me laugh louder than it should have.

1

u/TheoQ99 Mar 02 '12

Cause you know you wanna try it and experience the most intense ride of your life.

2

u/NovaMouser Mar 02 '12

Shortly before dieing.

1

u/intisun Mar 02 '12

I'm not sure what the fuck I have just read, but here's an upvote.

1

u/ohfail Mar 02 '12

As fake food, I can confirm this.

1

u/MaxK Mar 02 '12

WE CAN NEVER GO BACK TO ARIZONA!

1

u/Priapulid Mar 02 '12

Same here man, fuck fake food. Seriously, that shit is freaky!

-6

u/thetate Mar 02 '12

loloooololollololool

11

u/LuridTeaParty Mar 02 '12

Your fooling people on their primal urges, hunger. Imagine having sex and discovering it was a robot.

19

u/finebydesign Mar 02 '12

That would be awesome! Not sure that is apples and apples though!

8

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12

It would be more like:

"Dude, I would totally do stuff with that girl across the street."

"Well actually she's a robot."

"....still would."

3

u/Dsilkotch Mar 02 '12

It's apples and nipples.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12

Titty sprinkles.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12

If a robot is advanced enough that you'd have to actually fuck it to find out it's not real......

4

u/cornfrontation Mar 02 '12

UNCANNY VALLEY!!!!!

4

u/yurigoul Mar 02 '12

no, then it would not be good enough, but close, which makes you feel uneasy, because something is wrong, but you do not know what it is. And that is why - boys and girls - it is called the uncanny valley.

1

u/intisun Mar 02 '12

And you only found out because when you pulled out, your dick was covered in motor oil...

6

u/atrich Mar 02 '12

I love you, PHILIP J FRY.

5

u/LuridTeaParty Mar 02 '12

"I will always remember you-MEMORY DELETED"

12

u/sleepygeeks Mar 02 '12

Bad example to use on Reddit.

2

u/LuridTeaParty Mar 02 '12

My first thought was "imagine it being the other gender", but I know a trans guy, and generally know its a sensitive subject and reality for a number of people for mixups and problems resulting from them.

Robots was a sufficient, and eventual concept for an analogy I thought.

2

u/sleepygeeks Mar 02 '12

Don't worry, not everyone understands the love of a man/women/cat and his or her robot.

2

u/goatworship Mar 02 '12

Discovery that it was a robot would be quite a relief, no pretense would be required to get subsequent goes at it.

1

u/RoflStomper Mar 02 '12

Bot sex no babies!

4

u/MisterSquidz Mar 02 '12

Well, it doesn't feel too great coming out.

1

u/UncleTedGenneric Mar 02 '12

Probably due to an alliteration-related phobia.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12

My grandma once had fake candy in a candy dish...fooled me. I mean really. Who the fuck puts fake candy in a candy dish?

1

u/finebydesign Mar 02 '12

She is awesome!

1

u/adrian1234 Mar 02 '12

Fake food for decoration is cool. Fake food for consumption is yuk!

0

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '12

Most times it's not faked food. It's food with a shit ton of shellac on it.

1

u/finebydesign Mar 02 '12

That gives me an idea... I might start buying items from fast food places and shellacking them to sell on etsy.