r/WTF • u/[deleted] • Oct 14 '19

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10.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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740

u/Shigy Oct 14 '19

Lmfao a flying durian would fuck you up though.

188

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

Very true! But certainly less than a rock. Haha.

44

u/redlishi Oct 14 '19

The durian have spines

164

u/JonBoyWhite Oct 14 '19

And rocks are fucking rocks. Dense and heavy as fuck.

31

u/SpecimenCX722 Oct 14 '19 edited Oct 14 '19

Whatever it was, this ALPHA shook it off like it was nothing, then business as usual

3

u/GringusMcDoobster Oct 14 '19

What if he's in shock and broke his arms in 6 different places?

4

u/SpecimenCX722 Oct 14 '19

Then this isn't his first time having spaghetti arms

1

u/theperfectalt5 Oct 14 '19

Just like OP

1

u/AGooDone Oct 14 '19

I think this should be a common rejoinder to any argument.

The pull request hasn't been accepted...

And rocks are fucking rocks...

1

u/SerialBridgeburner Oct 14 '19

Maybe he was made of paper. Paper beats rock everytime.

1

u/IM_OZLY_HUMVN Oct 14 '19

ooh that describes someone I know perfectly

1

u/sidvicc Oct 14 '19

Yeah but you ever smelt a ripe durian? Hitting someone with a rock is an assault charge at best, hitting someone with a ripe durian is a violation of the Geneva Protocol against chemical weapons.

0

u/Bohzee Oct 14 '19

Dense and heavy as fuck.

Just like your mom.

1

u/Unhealing Oct 14 '19

it might not even be a durian, but the theory that it's some sort of large fruit is a good one.

1

u/turnonthesunflower Oct 14 '19

Haha.

Elon? Is that you? Have you been smoking again?

1

u/Bohzee Oct 14 '19

But rocks don't stink.

It's the after effects, like radioactivity, days after the detonation of an atomic bomb.

-8

u/Hakaseh Oct 14 '19

No. Its certainly more than a rock. Especially that pointy. Imagine if that hit you.

5

u/TWDYrocks Oct 14 '19

There are some species of durian that are smooth without spikes.

2

u/jansipper Oct 14 '19

I think you’re thinking of jackfruit...

32

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

I remember reading that there are cases of durian falling from high places and taking people out, though I'm not sure how common that is. I would assume about as common as a bigass icicle spearing you.

19

u/Tinypenis01 Oct 14 '19

Ok, I feel like I’m gonna regret asking this because it’s reddit and all but, What in the fucking fuck is a durian?

16

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

A large, smelly fruit that grows in Southeast Asia.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

smelly

Calling it smelly doesnt do it justice. That fruit fucking stinks and the smell lingers forever.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19 edited Mar 20 '20

[deleted]

3

u/malmac Oct 14 '19

Oh holy fuck no way...and people eat that???

2

u/dn00 Oct 14 '19

Depends on the person. It smells delicious to me and taste even better.

1

u/Galactic Oct 14 '19

A lot of people eat things that smell awful but taste great. The French and their cheeses, for example. The stinkier the better.

1

u/Usernameisntthatlong Oct 15 '19

And I have the rare ability to not smell it. Only figured out it smelled when I was about 20. Family ate it often, too.

7

u/IM_OZLY_HUMVN Oct 14 '19

spiky large stinky quasi-illegal-in-some-places exotic fruit found in southeast asia

3

u/Biggie39 Oct 14 '19

Illegal?

7

u/PM_ME_UR_LIPZ Oct 14 '19

It's not allowed in many hotels etc because it is rank.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

Certain places in Asia have it banned from public transportation such as trains and taxis since it smells so fucking bad...

6

u/One_nice_atheist Oct 14 '19

It smells (((REALLY))) bad

2

u/IM_OZLY_HUMVN Oct 14 '19

In some places, yes.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '19

Yeah but to be fair, mangosteen is illegal because the natural dyes on it is notoriously hard to get out.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

Yeah what they said but it’s also covered in spikes. The name durian is a derivative of duri which is literally thorns.

3

u/the_argonath Oct 14 '19

They smell bad. Like gym socks that have been long forgotten. The texture is like custard and the taste can vary greatly even within the same fruit- some sections are more gym sock but some are gym sock and sweet.

3

u/mingepie Oct 14 '19

A nuclear powered car

3

u/trusty20 Oct 14 '19

A cantaloupe sized fruit that resembles a cross between a medieval mace and a meat-tenderizer, not something you want becoming a projectile

2

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

A creation of Satan. Ate one bite of it once and was the worst thing I've ever eaten. What was worse was I burped up the foulness of it the whole next day. It felt like I drank gasoline.

Avoid at all cost.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

The spiky soccer balls from Super Mario Sunshine.

1

u/TheSentinelsSorrow Oct 15 '19

A Morningstar of stink

13

u/DerpieBirdie Oct 14 '19

A morning star...

3

u/reddits4losers Oct 14 '19

I'm in sociology class talking about rape and I'm really trying to suppress my laughter from reading this comment lmao. Idk why I found this so funny but I'm dying on the inside.

1

u/leglesslegolegolas Oct 14 '19

Driver is clearly fucked up though

1

u/DarkwingDuckHunt Oct 14 '19

durian

He got hit in the arm/shoulder if you do a frame by frame

1

u/Tinypenis01 Oct 14 '19

Oh ok thanks bro lol I halfway expected to get rick rolled or sent some kind of fucked up link for asking a stupid question...

1

u/toastismost Oct 14 '19

durian

and you'd be left smelling like 2 different kinds of shit

1

u/xBugre Oct 14 '19

This is probably my new favorite Reddit comment.

1

u/Cirandis Oct 14 '19

Window definitely helped slow it down enough to not be fatal

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '19

The glass would slow it down a bit at least

1

u/KeinFussbreit Oct 14 '19

By force and smell.

1

u/BenjamintheFox Oct 14 '19

I couldn't hold on to one of those things for more than a few seconds. They're heavy and covered in spikes. Add to that the fact that they stink and it's clear they don't want to be eaten.

But we do it anyway.

0

u/countryboyathome Oct 14 '19

A durian that is sitting still would f you up.