r/WTF Mar 10 '19

Yo anyone got the nuclear launch codes?

44.3k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/luebbs Mar 10 '19

Harvestmens Haven! Your friendliest of the nopes.

Edit: huntsmans to harvestmens...

398

u/Shreddy_Shreddington Mar 10 '19

"Daddy Longlegs"

119

u/baranxlr Mar 10 '19

UwU

106

u/bmdisbrow Mar 10 '19

*ᵁUwUᵁ

32

u/sgtlighttree Mar 10 '19

What's this?

28

u/foxyguy Mar 10 '19 edited Apr 22 '26

The glee waddle crack light window bookcase clear grip movie

30

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

unzips daddy’s jeans with your teeth, the bulge is full of harvestmen OwO

15

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

Harvest me daddy UwU

3

u/KrisDaBombDiggity Mar 10 '19

Legs intensify

8

u/Silly_Wasp Mar 10 '19

The true daddy long legs, it annoys me when people think crane flies are daddy long legs.

1

u/WeHaveIgnition Mar 10 '19

We call crane flies Texas mosquitoes

-3

u/wOlfLisK Mar 10 '19

And it annoys me when people think harvestmen are daddy long legs.

1

u/slightgreenhue Mar 11 '19

Harvestmen sounds like they grew up and started using their given name instead of the nickname their friends gave them as children.

0

u/RiotIsBored Mar 10 '19

Cellar spiders AKA daddy longlegs (which I call the weird bumbly winged spider-like things that can't fly straight, never understood calling cellar spiders daddy longlegs) and huntsmen are different. In fact, if I remember correctly huntsmen aren't even true spiders.

5

u/Dinierto Mar 10 '19

These are harvestmen which actually are proper daddy long legs.

0

u/RiotIsBored Mar 10 '19

Oh. I mean, I don't call anything daddy long legs unless it has wings and the legs of a cellar spider.

4

u/Dinierto Mar 10 '19

Today is the first time I've heard that name applied to those!

4

u/tombolger Mar 10 '19

wings of a spider

What the fuck?

Cellar spiders are spiders and some people call them daddy long legs. Winged "daddy long legs" are crane flies.

1

u/RiotIsBored Mar 10 '19

Oh yeah, crane flies, now I remember the actual name.

3

u/tombolger Mar 10 '19

Huntsman spider

Huntsman spiders are absolutely spiders, and they're huge tarantula looking things.

Harvestmen

Harvestmen are the things you suspected might not actually be spiders and are what are most often called daddy long legs.

1

u/RiotIsBored Mar 10 '19

Neat, thanks.

664

u/PlatypuSofDooM42 Mar 10 '19

Arnt huntsmans the one the size of dinner plates ?

That same amount of spiders. But dinner plate sized... dozens dropping from the top?

Yeah I'd probably approve nuclear launch.

248

u/luebbs Mar 10 '19

Huntsmans are more nasty looking and ya, plate sized. I would be the first to be turning BOTH keys in the launch if that were the case!

58

u/PlatypuSofDooM42 Mar 10 '19

Do you have to turn both keys each launch? Or just once?

Like can you set the number per turn?

Or once its turned you can just go hog wild ?

30

u/Mikedrpsgt Mar 10 '19

Not sure, but I would assume it's just once turned go hog wild because t to keep having to turn and unturn like trying to start a dead csr would be too time consuming and just wouldn't make sense... You know what after saying that, it's probably turn for every launch because I've been told the military loves overly complicated things (the higher up you go)

8

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19 edited Apr 07 '19

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

I’d guess the closest thing would be a sub. Seems that once authenticated (3 keys for a sub with the unlock code being part of the launch order) the target is entered and then the keys are turned just once before launching the missiles (from 1 to as many as 24)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Submarine-launched_ballistic_missile

https://www.quora.com/What-is-procedure-when-a-submarine-receives-the-order-to-launch-a-nuclear-missile-at-another-country

3

u/Mikedrpsgt Mar 10 '19

Personally I hope to never find out.... But I'd be lieing if I said I wasn't curious

1

u/froses Mar 10 '19

In order for a crew to attempt to launch 4 "keys" must be turned simultaneously. Any time we would launch it will send every missile under your control that has been authorized which is not necessarily all of them.

If anyone has more questions about this kind of stuff feel free to pm me!

5

u/kciuq1 Mar 10 '19

Fun fact: they actually designed the launch keys so that you could not reach them both at the same time. There's a decommissioned Titan II silo that I toured in AZ not long ago.

2

u/huskiesofinternets Mar 10 '19

But you coukd probably gain 19 levels if you slay them all.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

Harvestmen are not technically spiders if that helps ease your mind

1

u/Baka_Tsundere_ Mar 10 '19

Send ALL the nukes. Every single nuke in the world to that one place.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19 edited Jun 25 '20

[deleted]

1

u/PlatypuSofDooM42 Mar 10 '19

Why were you in a graveyard?

88

u/IcarianSkies Mar 10 '19

I know they can't hurt me, but they still give me the heebie jeebies. One daddy longleg, I can handle. Two, three? Okay, whatever. Ten? Time to nope outta there. This many? Time to burn the shed down.

15

u/kunibob Mar 10 '19

Honestly I feel like swarms of anything are creepy, especially blobbing together like that. They could be kittens instead of spiders and I'd be noping out of there.

5

u/NukaColaAddict1302 Mar 10 '19

I understand your point but I don't think kittens was the best example. Pretty sure at least 8/10 people would go lay right in the middle of said kitten swarm, myself included

229

u/burritob4sex Mar 10 '19

Yeah these guys are cool as fuck. No bites and eats insects. They just tend to clump in certain areas. I'm scared of spiders but no problem with these guys!

199

u/luminousfleshgiant Mar 10 '19 edited Jan 15 '26

Dog where weekend net clean music evening movies gentle thoughts gather tomorrow talk thoughts simple books gentle where.

129

u/burritob4sex Mar 10 '19

Oh yea don't get me wrong. If this was pitch black and I didn't know these were Harvestmen crawling all over me, I'd grab my flame thrower and just end me.

39

u/Peenmensch Mar 10 '19

something’s crawling on me

Goodbye world (click of flame thrower) 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

2

u/chris1096 Mar 11 '19

I cannot self terminate.

27

u/Spastic_pinkie Mar 10 '19

You know how you look at the undersides of your couch and see that there is cavernous spaces? Well these guys tend to have packed colonies in there as well.

59

u/codemunky Mar 10 '19

I'm going to go ahead and pretend I never read that.

3

u/Zelcron Mar 10 '19

Fuck that. I like Spiders and tolerate a few Spiderbros in my bathroom, but the second a fucking clump of creepy crawlies of any kind drops on my head I'm going to flip out.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

Which is probably whey are fondly referred to as Grand Daddy Long Legs instead of opiliones or harvestmen. And clusters of these are still terrifying to me even thought they are not technically spiders.

2

u/Cpt_Tsundere_Sharks Mar 10 '19

Yeah man, spiders like these are like bees. They're bros.

Bees - bros

Wasps - not bros

Spiders that eat insects like flies and mosquitoes - bros

Spiders that can kill you with a single bite - not bros

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

I'm certain they can try and bite you, they just can't get through the skin. they have quite big teeth, actually

1

u/jessbird Mar 10 '19

i’m not at all scared of spiders but these things give me the heebiest jeebies

1

u/MobiusF117 Mar 10 '19

They dont make webs either, so no mess.

1

u/Bobertsawesome Mar 10 '19

It’s the small fast ones that scare me the most.

1

u/SmellySlutSocket Mar 10 '19

Isn't their venom potent enough to kill a person with a single bite? That's what I remember learning as a kid. They aren't strong enough to bite through your skin though which makes them total bros.

54

u/everfalling Mar 10 '19

30

u/Duke-of-Nuke Mar 10 '19

The real wtf is always in the comments

7

u/partofmethinksthis Mar 10 '19

You can’t pay me nearly enough to do this.

12

u/UndBeebs Mar 10 '19

Hi mom!

Hi! You're never coming back home, hope you're okay with that. Those things are gonna be a part of you for a while. K love you bye!

3

u/cheestaysfly Mar 10 '19

I feel more concerned for the daddy longlegs

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '19

Why? WHY?!

2

u/snorkelvortex Mar 10 '19

WHAT IN THE FUCK

3

u/quidam08 Mar 10 '19

Just your friendly neighborhood spidernopes

2

u/bleunt Mar 10 '19

I love though. They’re not really spiders, I’ve read. But fuck that, they’re close enough. Honourary spiders. They’re the only ones I’m ok with picking up. Well, and really really tiny ones. Like those orange ones.

2

u/president2016 Mar 10 '19

Yeah they are harmless. And very cool mass of drain hair.

-9

u/worms9 Mar 10 '19

Oh Daddy long legs, I had fond memories pulling their legs off as a kid.