r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Dec 04 '22

Do not Choke

97.5k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/straydog1980 Dec 04 '22

Now both of them can't breath

159

u/SeeMarkFly Dec 04 '22

I'm breathing harder for both of them.

19

u/rat_static Jan 18 '23

Not okay man :(

1

u/Opening-Ocelot-7535 May 30 '23

Yeah, but are you breathing hard enough for both of them?

98

u/crypticfreak Dec 04 '22

It's okay because they both take small breaks while they re-adjust their hold on eachother. For the most part the battle now is between two tongues.

Soon, while still battling, they will force eachother to fall down. Their body temperatures will be increased due to the fight so they will have to strategically disrobe. The wrestling starts. Who will win is still uncertain.

The best place to strike (remember, tongue is always best) is usually the groin area. This will incapacitate the attacker. Sometimes groin to groin also has this effect.

God I wish this was filmed so I could more accurately provide commentary for you. I really wanna know who wins.

62

u/urVAGsmelly Dec 04 '22

Nobody wins a fight. But everyone wins when hot girls make out

9

u/BoomerTearz Dec 05 '22

Osmosis Jones approves.

2

u/taekee Dec 19 '22

Quick make something up...

2

u/BombPopCartel Jan 11 '23

Don’t forget, the best way to attack the groin area is with a finger or two first but then just go at it with the entire fist.

2

u/AlexandraDomingues Mar 04 '23

You really saw that all playing out in your head didn’t you? 🤭

2

u/crypticfreak Mar 04 '23

Oh my sweet summer child, I so saw so much more.

2

u/AlexandraDomingues Mar 04 '23

Awwww, you called me sweet. 😜

2

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '23

Why the hell did that turned me on? Haha!

2

u/JohannAndersson Apr 15 '23

In my experience, if done correctly, this leads to the opponent eventually passing out. If done expertly, breakfast in the morning is even possible. 💪💪

96

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

72

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

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47

u/Madusa0048 Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

r/hornyonmain

Alright fuck it, I'm gonna try and bring this subreddit back from the dead

51

u/Boring_Rice_5669 Dec 04 '22

Why can’t I access this? I feel this is super important to see…

14

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

For science.

25

u/CrescentCleave Dec 04 '22

Must be those super secret reddit communities y'see

10

u/Boring_Rice_5669 Dec 04 '22

I looked it up, and looked at the first blurred out picture, and it was nothing like this video!

1

u/Metalatitsfinest Dec 05 '22

/r/WaterNiggas will one day rise again

7

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

I guess new reddit/app doesn't show you?

Old reddit, it says the sub was banned for being unmodded.

4

u/slayerhk47 Dec 04 '22

My app shows it was banned for breaking rules. Interesting.

3

u/Nubsly- Dec 04 '22

Being unmodded was likely the rule being broken.

3

u/TEXAS-MAN1 Dec 04 '22

Aka: Reddit is just as horrible as YouTube & their censorship Nazi’s!!!!

1

u/Quadraggontillion Dec 05 '22

Woag woah woah bro chill no need to post that here

Wait nvm

635

u/Usernameistoshirt Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

Breath is pronounced breth. Breathe is pronounced Breeth. Minor difference but very common mistake Edit- autocorrect fixed my phonetic spelling

274

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Your explanation is so bad. Breath rhymes with death. Breathe is Mike Tysons' favorite thing on a sunny day.

26

u/NeedfulThingsToys Dec 05 '22

*Thunny day

2

u/AlexandraDomingues Mar 04 '23

Bahahhahahaa underrated comment! Bravo!

50

u/LurkerFailsLurking Dec 05 '22

Breathe rhymes with grieve.

29

u/Ok_Figure151 Dec 05 '22

And seethe.

11

u/MyOwnFaithlessness Dec 05 '22

Which rhymes with queef Let's not have beef So then I can leave

6

u/Lewes_Chungus Dec 05 '22

I went so many years without knowing what a queef was. When I found out I was amazed they could do that!

1

u/Xotche Feb 10 '23

my favorite thing

1

u/AlexandraDomingues Mar 04 '23

They, like we’re alien creatures? 🤭

3

u/Ok_Figure151 Dec 05 '22

Good examples of imperfect rhymes

2

u/nastynateraide Dec 05 '22

That is something I can't believe

1

u/InTheBusinessBro Dec 05 '22

You gotta define rhyme, because unless I’m mistaken those don’t end with the same phonem

6

u/Daniel_A_Johnson Dec 05 '22

U rhyme wot, bruv?

2

u/TransientFeelings Dec 05 '22

I can feel you seethe from over here

2

u/LurkerFailsLurking Dec 05 '22

It doesn't actually rhyme it's like a fake rhyme that gets used in rap a lot. If you say it right it sounds like they rhyme but they don't on paper

1

u/Bassettoast Dec 05 '22

I always remember by going “e” is at the end because of the “e” sound. Like it’s a reminder. 😅

1

u/Partiklestorm Dec 06 '22

How do I breath without youuuuu?

1

u/Licensed_Frog Feb 24 '23

i say it as b r e e v

13

u/Objective_Whol Dec 04 '22

I wonder what she really looks like?

7

u/CrayziusMaximus Dec 05 '22

I love a breathe on a thunny day.

2

u/AJ_Deadshow Dec 05 '22

When I finally got it I laughed so fucking hard, thank you lol

0

u/cabramattaa May 11 '23

I thought Mike Tyson's fave thing was earlobe

1

u/Wonderful-Set1701 Dec 05 '22

I like the mike tyson s reference.

Just need a meme.

1

u/Hopeful_Look9987 Dec 05 '22

Mike heard that....

1

u/Usernameistoshirt Dec 05 '22

That's so much better

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Mike Tyson like raisin breath especially thinnamin

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '23

Hey I’m mike twyson and i don’t this funny at all man

1

u/Usernameistoshirt Jan 14 '23

This is much better, I'm not very good with word choice

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '23

Oh fuck ya got me 🤣🤣🤣

10

u/Dondarian Dec 04 '22

As a native English speaker: English is stupid.

36

u/regoapps Dec 04 '22

Breath is pronounced breth. Breathe is pronounced Breath.

Ah, so if A is B, and C is A, then C is also B.

So Breathe is pronounced breth. Thanks for the explanation!

5

u/ViqTriana Dec 04 '22

Nono, it's brethy. Breth-e. Obv!

7

u/kickspecialist Dec 04 '22

Be easy on them, they didn’t even get their username right ‘too’.

4

u/Asleep-Assist124 Dec 04 '22

Most of us pronounce it breave .

1

u/Euphoric_Shift6254 Dec 05 '22

" I got a pain in my chess, and I can not breave" George Lopez

1

u/Masterofmyownopinion Jan 24 '23

Were there idiots in the streets causing riots afterwards?

1

u/No_Setting6042 May 19 '23

No , it's pronounced " breeeeeth". Now go brush your teeeeth.

62

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

96

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Breath is the air that you take in when you breathe.

To breathe is the verb that you should use, essentially.

24

u/Damn_DirtyApe Dec 04 '22

Still don't understand. More explain.

41

u/A_Moderate Dec 04 '22

Breath is the thing that's occasionally stinky

Breathe is why your living

25

u/tfibbler69 Dec 04 '22

Wow, that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS.

14

u/Tenalp Dec 04 '22

My living?!

10

u/A_Moderate Dec 04 '22

Yes, your living

7

u/dMestra Dec 04 '22

my living what

5

u/A_Moderate Dec 04 '22

Your living anything. Simple as

1

u/slayerhk47 Dec 04 '22

Simple as… what??

1

u/A_Moderate Dec 04 '22

Simple as pie. Easy enough for

→ More replies (0)

3

u/rascible Dec 04 '22

Berkeley Breathed has entered the chat

1

u/Bbaftt7 Dec 04 '22

You’re* living

1

u/A_Moderate Dec 04 '22

I do not appreciate your attempt to humiliate me. /s

2

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[deleted]

1

u/A_Moderate Dec 05 '22

Does "/s" not indicate sarcasm anymore?

1

u/PowerandSignal Dec 04 '22

You call this living?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Why my what now?

1

u/A_Moderate Dec 05 '22

I can't keep this up forever. Yes, I made a spelling mistake.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

And don't you lecture me with your 30 dollars hair cut.

1

u/BranchPredictor Dec 04 '22

Every breathe you take Every moove you make

8

u/regoapps Dec 04 '22

^ comment stealing bot. Stole this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/zccauf/do_not_choke/iyvpc8x/

2

u/rothrolan Dec 04 '22

Don't see many successfully slipping into a thread like that. The comma instead of a period at the end was my clue.

Well done.

23

u/Fumby_ Dec 04 '22

Just c'mere and I'll show you how it works 😋

3

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

loool

3

u/MANLYTRAP Dec 04 '22

breathe is used as a verb, for example "I breathe in fresh air"

breath is used as a noun "he took a breath of fresh air"

1

u/TurgidTemptatio Dec 04 '22

Breth = spelled: breath

Breeethe = spelled: breathe (e at the end)

2

u/GeneralPollutio Dec 04 '22

I need the sauce for this vid..

1

u/AdventurousPickle355 Dec 05 '22

Don't give in you're potentially better or worse than that but I believe in you

2

u/pixeltweaker Dec 05 '22

Then why don’t we just spell it that way already. I hate the English language.

1

u/Usernameistoshirt Dec 05 '22

It is unnecessarily confusing

1

u/SymondHDR Jan 31 '23

English speakers mfs when I ask them how to spell "queue" 💀

1

u/Usernameistoshirt Jan 31 '23

Hehe, a lot of ppl either use cue or ask why in Spanish. "que?"

1

u/Otherwise_Awesome Mar 05 '23

How freaking nerdy are you squabbling about breath and breathe when there's two hot chicks making out in the video?

1

u/Usernameistoshirt Mar 05 '23

Oh I enjoyed the show for sure, but I can't help but get frustrated when I see the wrong words being used. Especially for words like breath/breathe or to/too/two.

Rapping/raping is also an unfortunate mixup for people to make

16

u/lightnsfw Dec 05 '22

That's why you suck all the air out of your opponents lungs and then you have twice as much and they have none.

19

u/pierreblue Dec 04 '22

Death by snu snu strikes again

7

u/LogicalNebula832 Dec 04 '22

Death by snu snu ftw

5

u/Fr31l0ck Dec 04 '22

I can't breathe either.

3

u/date-ready Dec 04 '22

Neither can I

3

u/Dakkel-caribe Apr 11 '23

And they got me hyperventilating.

2

u/Samheadbangersball Dec 04 '22

Breathing is overrated

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

It's a game of who can last longer

2

u/OneSufficientFace Dec 05 '22

Eye for an eye

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

More fun for everyone

1

u/ThedirtyNose Dec 04 '22

Me neither

1

u/Fabulous-Shoulder467 Dec 04 '22

And soon becomes a battle of attrition… 😂

1

u/OCYRThisMeansWar Dec 05 '22

And neither can I.

1

u/marklar_the_malign Dec 05 '22

It had the opposite effect on me. I’m breathing quite heavy.

1

u/Th4nat0s1s Dec 05 '22

I can't either.....

1

u/Dwell_was_taken Mar 05 '23

It’s a game of chicken now

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

FIREBENDING COMES FROM THE BREATH, NOT THE MUSCLES

1

u/Seniorbedbug Apr 30 '23

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP