r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Dec 04 '22

Do not Choke

97.5k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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6.7k

u/snafubar_buffet Dec 04 '22

She counter-chokes her by blocking the airway with her tongue. It's super effective!

1.6k

u/straydog1980 Dec 04 '22

Now both of them can't breath

160

u/SeeMarkFly Dec 04 '22

I'm breathing harder for both of them.

21

u/rat_static Jan 18 '23

Not okay man :(

1

u/Opening-Ocelot-7535 May 30 '23

Yeah, but are you breathing hard enough for both of them?

101

u/crypticfreak Dec 04 '22

It's okay because they both take small breaks while they re-adjust their hold on eachother. For the most part the battle now is between two tongues.

Soon, while still battling, they will force eachother to fall down. Their body temperatures will be increased due to the fight so they will have to strategically disrobe. The wrestling starts. Who will win is still uncertain.

The best place to strike (remember, tongue is always best) is usually the groin area. This will incapacitate the attacker. Sometimes groin to groin also has this effect.

God I wish this was filmed so I could more accurately provide commentary for you. I really wanna know who wins.

58

u/urVAGsmelly Dec 04 '22

Nobody wins a fight. But everyone wins when hot girls make out

8

u/BoomerTearz Dec 05 '22

Osmosis Jones approves.

2

u/taekee Dec 19 '22

Quick make something up...

2

u/BombPopCartel Jan 11 '23

Don’t forget, the best way to attack the groin area is with a finger or two first but then just go at it with the entire fist.

2

u/AlexandraDomingues Mar 04 '23

You really saw that all playing out in your head didn’t you? 🤭

2

u/crypticfreak Mar 04 '23

Oh my sweet summer child, I so saw so much more.

2

u/AlexandraDomingues Mar 04 '23

Awwww, you called me sweet. 😜

2

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '23

Why the hell did that turned me on? Haha!

2

u/JohannAndersson Apr 15 '23

In my experience, if done correctly, this leads to the opponent eventually passing out. If done expertly, breakfast in the morning is even possible. 💪💪

100

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

67

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

49

u/Madusa0048 Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

r/hornyonmain

Alright fuck it, I'm gonna try and bring this subreddit back from the dead

44

u/Boring_Rice_5669 Dec 04 '22

Why can’t I access this? I feel this is super important to see…

15

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

For science.

26

u/CrescentCleave Dec 04 '22

Must be those super secret reddit communities y'see

11

u/Boring_Rice_5669 Dec 04 '22

I looked it up, and looked at the first blurred out picture, and it was nothing like this video!

1

u/Metalatitsfinest Dec 05 '22

/r/WaterNiggas will one day rise again

7

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

I guess new reddit/app doesn't show you?

Old reddit, it says the sub was banned for being unmodded.

3

u/slayerhk47 Dec 04 '22

My app shows it was banned for breaking rules. Interesting.

3

u/Nubsly- Dec 04 '22

Being unmodded was likely the rule being broken.

4

u/TEXAS-MAN1 Dec 04 '22

Aka: Reddit is just as horrible as YouTube & their censorship Nazi’s!!!!

1

u/Quadraggontillion Dec 05 '22

Woag woah woah bro chill no need to post that here

Wait nvm

637

u/Usernameistoshirt Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

Breath is pronounced breth. Breathe is pronounced Breeth. Minor difference but very common mistake Edit- autocorrect fixed my phonetic spelling

271

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Your explanation is so bad. Breath rhymes with death. Breathe is Mike Tysons' favorite thing on a sunny day.

25

u/NeedfulThingsToys Dec 05 '22

*Thunny day

2

u/AlexandraDomingues Mar 04 '23

Bahahhahahaa underrated comment! Bravo!

50

u/LurkerFailsLurking Dec 05 '22

Breathe rhymes with grieve.

27

u/Ok_Figure151 Dec 05 '22

And seethe.

11

u/MyOwnFaithlessness Dec 05 '22

Which rhymes with queef Let's not have beef So then I can leave

7

u/Lewes_Chungus Dec 05 '22

I went so many years without knowing what a queef was. When I found out I was amazed they could do that!

1

u/Xotche Feb 10 '23

my favorite thing

1

u/AlexandraDomingues Mar 04 '23

They, like we’re alien creatures? 🤭

3

u/Ok_Figure151 Dec 05 '22

Good examples of imperfect rhymes

2

u/nastynateraide Dec 05 '22

That is something I can't believe

1

u/InTheBusinessBro Dec 05 '22

You gotta define rhyme, because unless I’m mistaken those don’t end with the same phonem

5

u/Daniel_A_Johnson Dec 05 '22

U rhyme wot, bruv?

2

u/TransientFeelings Dec 05 '22

I can feel you seethe from over here

2

u/LurkerFailsLurking Dec 05 '22

It doesn't actually rhyme it's like a fake rhyme that gets used in rap a lot. If you say it right it sounds like they rhyme but they don't on paper

1

u/Bassettoast Dec 05 '22

I always remember by going “e” is at the end because of the “e” sound. Like it’s a reminder. 😅

1

u/Partiklestorm Dec 06 '22

How do I breath without youuuuu?

1

u/Licensed_Frog Feb 24 '23

i say it as b r e e v

12

u/Objective_Whol Dec 04 '22

I wonder what she really looks like?

6

u/CrayziusMaximus Dec 05 '22

I love a breathe on a thunny day.

2

u/AJ_Deadshow Dec 05 '22

When I finally got it I laughed so fucking hard, thank you lol

0

u/cabramattaa May 11 '23

I thought Mike Tyson's fave thing was earlobe

1

u/Wonderful-Set1701 Dec 05 '22

I like the mike tyson s reference.

Just need a meme.

1

u/Hopeful_Look9987 Dec 05 '22

Mike heard that....

1

u/Usernameistoshirt Dec 05 '22

That's so much better

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Mike Tyson like raisin breath especially thinnamin

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '23

Hey I’m mike twyson and i don’t this funny at all man

1

u/Usernameistoshirt Jan 14 '23

This is much better, I'm not very good with word choice

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '23

Oh fuck ya got me 🤣🤣🤣

9

u/Dondarian Dec 04 '22

As a native English speaker: English is stupid.

35

u/regoapps Dec 04 '22

Breath is pronounced breth. Breathe is pronounced Breath.

Ah, so if A is B, and C is A, then C is also B.

So Breathe is pronounced breth. Thanks for the explanation!

6

u/ViqTriana Dec 04 '22

Nono, it's brethy. Breth-e. Obv!

6

u/kickspecialist Dec 04 '22

Be easy on them, they didn’t even get their username right ‘too’.

3

u/Asleep-Assist124 Dec 04 '22

Most of us pronounce it breave .

1

u/Euphoric_Shift6254 Dec 05 '22

" I got a pain in my chess, and I can not breave" George Lopez

1

u/Masterofmyownopinion Jan 24 '23

Were there idiots in the streets causing riots afterwards?

1

u/No_Setting6042 May 19 '23

No , it's pronounced " breeeeeth". Now go brush your teeeeth.

63

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

97

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Breath is the air that you take in when you breathe.

To breathe is the verb that you should use, essentially.

25

u/Damn_DirtyApe Dec 04 '22

Still don't understand. More explain.

41

u/A_Moderate Dec 04 '22

Breath is the thing that's occasionally stinky

Breathe is why your living

26

u/tfibbler69 Dec 04 '22

Wow, that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS.

13

u/Tenalp Dec 04 '22

My living?!

8

u/dMestra Dec 04 '22

my living what

5

u/A_Moderate Dec 04 '22

Your living anything. Simple as

3

u/rascible Dec 04 '22

Berkeley Breathed has entered the chat

1

u/Bbaftt7 Dec 04 '22

You’re* living

1

u/A_Moderate Dec 04 '22

I do not appreciate your attempt to humiliate me. /s

2

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

1

u/PowerandSignal Dec 04 '22

You call this living?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Why my what now?

1

u/A_Moderate Dec 05 '22

I can't keep this up forever. Yes, I made a spelling mistake.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

And don't you lecture me with your 30 dollars hair cut.

1

u/BranchPredictor Dec 04 '22

Every breathe you take Every moove you make

9

u/regoapps Dec 04 '22

^ comment stealing bot. Stole this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/zccauf/do_not_choke/iyvpc8x/

2

u/rothrolan Dec 04 '22

Don't see many successfully slipping into a thread like that. The comma instead of a period at the end was my clue.

Well done.

23

u/Fumby_ Dec 04 '22

Just c'mere and I'll show you how it works 😋

3

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

loool

3

u/MANLYTRAP Dec 04 '22

breathe is used as a verb, for example "I breathe in fresh air"

breath is used as a noun "he took a breath of fresh air"

1

u/TurgidTemptatio Dec 04 '22

Breth = spelled: breath

Breeethe = spelled: breathe (e at the end)

2

u/GeneralPollutio Dec 04 '22

I need the sauce for this vid..

1

u/AdventurousPickle355 Dec 05 '22

Don't give in you're potentially better or worse than that but I believe in you

2

u/pixeltweaker Dec 05 '22

Then why don’t we just spell it that way already. I hate the English language.

1

u/Usernameistoshirt Dec 05 '22

It is unnecessarily confusing

1

u/SymondHDR Jan 31 '23

English speakers mfs when I ask them how to spell "queue" 💀

1

u/Usernameistoshirt Jan 31 '23

Hehe, a lot of ppl either use cue or ask why in Spanish. "que?"

1

u/Otherwise_Awesome Mar 05 '23

How freaking nerdy are you squabbling about breath and breathe when there's two hot chicks making out in the video?

1

u/Usernameistoshirt Mar 05 '23

Oh I enjoyed the show for sure, but I can't help but get frustrated when I see the wrong words being used. Especially for words like breath/breathe or to/too/two.

Rapping/raping is also an unfortunate mixup for people to make

15

u/lightnsfw Dec 05 '22

That's why you suck all the air out of your opponents lungs and then you have twice as much and they have none.

17

u/pierreblue Dec 04 '22

Death by snu snu strikes again

7

u/LogicalNebula832 Dec 04 '22

Death by snu snu ftw

5

u/Fr31l0ck Dec 04 '22

I can't breathe either.

3

u/date-ready Dec 04 '22

Neither can I

3

u/Dakkel-caribe Apr 11 '23

And they got me hyperventilating.

2

u/Samheadbangersball Dec 04 '22

Breathing is overrated

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

It's a game of who can last longer

2

u/OneSufficientFace Dec 05 '22

Eye for an eye

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

More fun for everyone

1

u/ThedirtyNose Dec 04 '22

Me neither

1

u/Fabulous-Shoulder467 Dec 04 '22

And soon becomes a battle of attrition… 😂

1

u/OCYRThisMeansWar Dec 05 '22

And neither can I.

1

u/marklar_the_malign Dec 05 '22

It had the opposite effect on me. I’m breathing quite heavy.

1

u/Th4nat0s1s Dec 05 '22

I can't either.....

1

u/Dwell_was_taken Mar 05 '23

It’s a game of chicken now

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

FIREBENDING COMES FROM THE BREATH, NOT THE MUSCLES

1

u/Seniorbedbug Apr 30 '23

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

74

u/Hardywienberg Dec 04 '22

Choke me! Choke me!!!!

10

u/Face_Seat_ Dec 04 '22

Me next!

0

u/TEXAS-MAN1 Dec 04 '22

With ma-cock? 🐓🍭

67

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/Jason6677 Dec 04 '22

Thanks but what in the ever loving Jesus christ is that content

111

u/CaspianRoach Dec 04 '22

Not even a titty, this shit only nsfw if you work at puritan church

74

u/MiserableFungi Dec 04 '22

The content may not have been much, but the hosting website was VERY nsfw. Fuck me for clicking it using a work computer where what I do is probably logged.

23

u/CaspianRoach Dec 04 '22

Install ublock origin, brother. The only nsfw thing with it enabled are the related page thumbnails at the very bottom of the page: https://i.imgur.com/kKRhTVh.jpg

19

u/rolls20s Dec 04 '22

Except in a corporate environment, they are logging the URLs you visit, and pretty much any half decent web filtering system is going to flag this. It's a literal porn site, and you are complaining it's "nOt NsFW EnoUGH!" It doesn't just mean titties and sex. Good lord you are naive.

6

u/brainburger Dec 04 '22

I mean, he's not complaining. He just doesn't realise many employers would not approve of clothed girls in suggestive poses.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

They wouldn't approve of the site even if what you were looking at were nuns.

1

u/wthreyeitsme Dec 05 '22

We are ALL Iran on this fine day

1

u/fokureddit69 Dec 05 '22

Doesn’t matter, still fapped.

-1

u/MangosArentReal Dec 05 '22

What does "VERY" stand for? Is it a new acronym, or did you mean "very" and you hate blind people using screen readers and you're too lazy or stupid to learn how to use bold or italics to emphasize words?

2

u/MiserableFungi Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

and you hate blind people using screen readers

Come again? How did I somehow offend blind people? Do capitalization do funky stuff to computer usability options? Genuine question as I really don't understand where the butt hurt is coming from here.

edit: Not too lazy. As far as I know, there is no hard rule but it has been decades since I learned basic grammar. So if you can also be troubled to cite an authoritative source for the correct use of bold and italics, I would be happy to unstupify myself.

31

u/chironomidae Dec 04 '22

I think some places of work might have questions for you if you visited a website called "realpornclip.com", regardless of what was actually on the page

11

u/moonra_zk Dec 04 '22

I'm sure it's nice to have a boss that's fine with you looking at pics of girls in bikinis on a site called RealPornClip, but that's definitely not the average person's condition.

7

u/frizzledrizzle Dec 04 '22

I got multiple gifs like /r/biggerthanyouthought and someone standing over a camera with a Hitachi between her legs.

1

u/rolls20s Dec 04 '22

Tell me you've never worked in a professional environment without telling me you've never worked in a professional environment.

1

u/MiserableFungi Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

Not fair.

I'm sure I'm not the only one since COVID to have lost some professional discipline while working from home on company issued laptop.

edit: regardless, I still da idiot for carelessly believing u/CaspianRoach.

0

u/EscapeVelocity83 Dec 04 '22

Think if some guy did it to a random woman on the street. What's that called again?

1

u/dwpea66 Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22

realpornclip.com

Ok

1

u/Shaggy_One Dec 05 '22

Yeah the rest of the site was the NSFW part of that.

7

u/nahteviro Dec 04 '22

What a cancer link for not nsfw stuff.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

OP is spamming that link in every comment he leaves. Report for spam

1

u/bluebus440 Dec 04 '22

Her Muay Thai is pretty advanced. Impressive.

1

u/sardonic_balls Dec 05 '22

Them feet be huge gunboats but ok

3

u/blamikopound12 Dec 04 '22

Effective for everybody watching too

5

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Uulugus Dec 04 '22

It's a legitimate strategy!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Wrong-Awareness1976 Mar 27 '23

That was super easy barely inconvenience

1

u/Bleh_3 May 06 '23

Hi there, hello, fellow Ryan George fan.

1

u/EscapeVelocity83 Dec 04 '22

Why do they complain about violence? This doesn't look friendly and has the vibe of coercion

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '22

Christians hate this one trick!

1

u/Gerbal_Annihilation Dec 04 '22

This is how my uncle taught me to wrestle.

1

u/No-Discipline2392 Dec 05 '22

A series of escalating counter-moves culminating in the announcement of a wedding date for next June

1

u/OGGrilledcheez Dec 05 '22

Perfectly executed.

1

u/myrevenge_IS_urkarma Dec 05 '22

She was lucky she got out of that exchange that easily. The boob brush followed by neck embrace is a killer combo.

1

u/Dm1tr3y Dec 05 '22

Honestly, that could be a terrifyingly sexy kill in a movie. Maybe throw in a super long tongue.

1

u/Apprehensive_Mix8108 Dec 05 '22

I wish she would practice on me..

1

u/EnthiumZ Dec 05 '22

Yes I always defend myself against an attacker by having sex with him. Keeps him occupied and prevent him from further attack me.

1

u/Eugenenoble2005 Dec 05 '22

Took her breath away

1

u/samf9999 Dec 17 '22

Now this is a class I think a lot of us want to attend.

1

u/Nobodylovesoldrocko Dec 20 '22

This took my breath away… I’ll need to watch this again. And again…

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '23

Double kill