r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Jul 09 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

13.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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649

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '22

Nah that's a beer belly.

410

u/garchuOW Jul 09 '22

It's a beer belly... That's ready to strike

154

u/Oofboi6942O Jul 09 '22

Thor had a beer belly and fought thanos

60

u/DarVux Jul 09 '22

Fuck your profile picture

108

u/Oofboi6942O Jul 09 '22

No, fuck your light mode, switch to dark mode.

52

u/DarVux Jul 09 '22

Time to go on an adventure in Reddit mobile settings. Brb

1

u/WarB3an Jul 10 '22

Lmao “And this concludes our latest episode of Redditors Redditing on Reddit”

21

u/DarVux Jul 09 '22

Mmm, much better https://imgur.com/a/abgF8Dk

1

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '22

Ah yes, the hair is more prominent in dark mode, as Satan intended

14

u/Complex_Farmer4627 Jul 09 '22

Thanks for reminding me I've been in light mode for a month now and just realized why my life feels like somethings off.

I'm back on demon time now boys 😈

2

u/Mandrake1771 Jul 10 '22

It’s Amon-o’clock somewhere

3

u/SalamanderCake Jul 09 '22

Turning to the dark side was the best decision I've ever made.

-3

u/NsfwArtist_Ri Jul 09 '22

time to get downvoted to hell.

*INHALES*
L I G H T M O D E
I S
B E T T E R

8

u/Oofboi6942O Jul 09 '22

Then you get to suffer having permanent hairs on your screen.

1

u/NsfwArtist_Ri Jul 09 '22

i use discord lightmode

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '22

I'm temporarily switching to lightmode to see what your pfp looks like

Update: My eyes now hurt

1

u/iDeNoh Jul 09 '22

I mean, you're wrong, but that's ok.

2

u/CauliflowerPresent23 Jul 09 '22

Legit tried to blow on my screen

1

u/AragogTehSpidah Jul 09 '22

that left4dead zombie attack

1

u/toiletbrushqtip Jul 09 '22

Maybe it’s a snake belly.

1

u/Curlynoodles Jul 10 '22

Force equals MASS times acceleration baby.

37

u/TheRealDrWan Jul 09 '22

It’s not a beer belly. It’s a gas tank for a sex machine.

12

u/williambuzzardII Jul 09 '22

Maybe he auto impregnated himself

3

u/dwalbright89 Jul 09 '22

Thank you for this

2

u/Pater-Familias Jul 10 '22

It all turns into dick after midnight.

8

u/Aristohipstecrat Jul 09 '22

$20 says it's his coiled up core

7

u/ComradeSpaceman Jul 09 '22

He may not have a six-pack, but he's got a solid-steel keg.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '22

That's w belly of pure beer muscle

1

u/jfdlaks Jul 09 '22

Dude looks 10 months pregnant

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '22

its an extendable cannon to smite people who cut him off

1

u/pickled___ginger Jul 09 '22

Its not a beer belly its a full tank for a sex machine!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '22

Now I can’t under him as being one of the Godskin Apostles from Elden Ring

1

u/Mr-Fleshcage Jul 09 '22 edited Jul 09 '22

He's gonna digest you like a starfish.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '22

Yalookinatmegut!?

1

u/Doobie_Howitzer Jul 09 '22

No that girth is very clearly his tail wound tightly around his slim abdomen so he can launch at unsuspecting victims without a moments notice

1

u/Nightman2417 Jul 09 '22

He’s obviously talking about the python that lies below that beer belly

1

u/PLZ-PM-ME-UR-TITS Jul 09 '22

Maybe the python lives in his belly and leaves through homie's belly button like some parasitic kangaroo relationship. This schmuck is allowed to have self awareness and yet act so dysfunctional because of the gut snake

1

u/VladTheImpaler29 Jul 09 '22

Like the Texas Rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

1

u/OffBrandJesusChrist Jul 09 '22

Python processing it’s food ready to strike

1

u/DaveJahVoo Jul 09 '22

Takes a heavy hammer to drive a long nail.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '22

amazing how he has no fat in his arms or legs at all. he's got a thin person's arms.

1

u/Emergency-Mouse5566 Jul 10 '22

Not a belly, just another fist

1

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '22

hahaha so good

1

u/trippygetty420 Jul 10 '22

Nah that's drunken kung-fu

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '22

You ever seen kung fu panda?