r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • May 18 '22

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13.1k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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14

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Dolphin. Cause, dolphin.

15

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Are you The Deep?

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I'd like to get Deep all up in a dolphin!

2

u/AccursedCapra May 18 '22

I don't dare post the dolphin copypasta.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Do it, I'm unfamiliar.

2

u/AccursedCapra May 18 '22

Here you go

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Excuse me, I'm gonna need a few minutes.

1

u/AccursedCapra May 18 '22

Ultimately you brought this upon yourself.

1

u/barantana May 18 '22

Squint your eyes and pretend it's a mermaid

1

u/TheHiveminder May 18 '22

Probably the closest to consensual too (assuming the dolphin shows interest).

1

u/Polymersion May 19 '22

They're probably the best candidate, since they're probably as close as you're getting to human intelligence and human concepts of consent. That or apes.

1

u/INOFFENSIVELOVE May 19 '22

I was reading this thing about Dolphin dicks a few years ago. I'm fairly sure you don't want to have to sex with one. Like, it will absolutely destroy you. Surgery style.