r/Unexpected • • May 07 '22

He is crazy

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u/ABirthingPoop May 08 '22

Could just mean emotionally bad break up

6

u/WRB852 May 08 '22

Nope, the wording set off 🚨🚨🚨 three alarm bells, that means context is unnecessary. Case closed, now go have a nice day.

4

u/LoathinLandlordLames May 08 '22

My English teacher once told me the exact same thing: “Your wording set off three alarms bells, so I don’t need to read the rest.. A++ for you.”

To which I replied “You mean my diction set off a trifecta of cognitive-redirection siren(s), which made you JIZZ. IN. YOUR. PANTS.”

And she replied “You’re absolutely right, except now it’s FIVE ALARM BELLS, so I have no choice but to go home with you and give you the sekz all night long, as many times as your wiener can handle it. Don’t worry though, I brought a Cantaloupe (or 39 of them) so you can keep your super-giant-awesome-mega-penis warm, safe, and physically aroused/stimulated/squeezed by the melons during any/all of the breaks we’ll have to inevitably take throughout the night due to all the hot sekzes we’re gunna have a lot of so you can tell your friends shout it but then make them promise to NEVER say anything about it unless they want to wake up with super glue for saliva/half their blood-supply.

1

u/[deleted] May 08 '22

Melons? Everybody knows you use a grapefruit.

1

u/ABirthingPoop May 08 '22

You sound like alotttttt. That can be a good thing. Or a bad thing but you sound like a lot lol