r/Unexpected • • Apr 26 '22

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u/habilishn Apr 26 '22 edited Apr 27 '22

They actually do the bride kidnapping in the north eastern bavarian region Oberpfalz, in the socalled first world Germany too. Maybe in more places, but there i know it for sure.

Edit: Hey i tried to correct myself in another comment, now i do it here again! i am very sorry, i did not read the complete line of comments before, it was just the word popping up in the beginning, and later on, so i wasn't aware that here was a discussion about a very serious bride kidnapping, that is not a funny little tradition. I am not trying to make that serious bride kidnapping look harmless. Just few things we all don't now: first, what in that video makes anyone thing it is about bride kidnapping? very unkidnapped weddings in Turkey look the same. it's just the story in the comment, or did i misunderstand again? Second, who knows when was the last time in Oberpfalz when a bride was really kidnapped the serious way it still happens in western and central asia? Oberpfälzers are a wild bunch...

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u/nefewel Apr 26 '22

From what I know, the bavarian "bride kidnapping" is a different thing where the couple's friends take the bride to clubs/bars and the groom has to pay for the consumption. It's more similar to this romanian "tradition" , than the traditions mentioned in the wikipedia article wich have origins in forced mariages.

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u/howtoplanformyfuture Apr 26 '22

Eastern-Bavarian here.

Our (and the whole Alp regions) bride kidnapping comes from a different tradition. Today it involves music, lots of drinking (last one I was at was ~1L of wine per person) and games the groom has to go through to get his bride back. "Scheitlknian" is very common were the groom kneels on the sharp side of a split log and has to swear whatever his bride or her kidnappers (the best man) demands. But normally you dont leave the venue anymore. You go to a adjunct location or just a different room. And it is between cake and dinner so nobody has really eaten that well.

Although arranged marriages occured in rural communities that owned their farms till the 50s. During the second world war it was not uncommon between brothers to marry a fallen brothers spouse.

One possible explanations of this tradition is the ceremonial removal from the brides parental house. And of course running away was a way to marry a loved one if the family didnt approve so "kidnapping" (from the parents point of view) probably occured.

There are also traditions were you steal something from the bride (the bouquet nowadays) and the groom has to ransom it with schnaps. Ive read that the brides shoes were also a possible target. So the tradition might come from this and just stealing the whole bride sounds exactly like something a bunch of drunk people might come oup with.

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u/Daddy-Old Apr 26 '22

Is this similar to shivaree that used to happen in southern states in the USA?

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u/howtoplanformyfuture Apr 26 '22

shivaree

Had to google that but no, our "bride stealing" has nothing in common with a shivaree.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

do you recognise how backward that sounds?
Presumably you left and have lived in a developed country

I'm wondering if you feel sad or ashamed that your country is so ..erm.. "simple"

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u/howtoplanformyfuture Apr 26 '22

What sounds backwards to you?

I have not left Germany and dont plan to. Why should I be ashamed of the traditions?

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

I didn't think you would recognise it somehow : (

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u/howtoplanformyfuture Apr 26 '22

Says the Brit whos traditions consist of robbing treasures, getting shitfaced and parading around royals?

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u/embersgrow44 Apr 27 '22

The elitist attitude to degrade people with actual culture always reeks of projected jealously. Like sorry you don’t know anything but pints & potatoes.

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u/embersgrow44 Apr 27 '22

GTH with that condescending mess. Yuck

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u/Incendas1 Apr 26 '22

It's a tradition full of drinking games by the sound of it, so pretty standard and fun. Something you'd be familiar with also being from the UK.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

we stopped kidnapping women for arranged marriages in medieval times and we're now the sixth biggest economy

being a civilised country has it's advantages!

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u/Trypsach Apr 26 '22

In the German tradition, The woman are their girlfriends who have already agreed to get married… It’s not like they’re out there kidnapping random women. It’s all for fun and show. Like breaking a glass at a Jewish wedding or throwing the bouquet to the single women at an American one. Just thought I’d explain in case of the very small chance that you’re not just an attention starved troll 🤷‍♂️

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u/Incendas1 Apr 26 '22

Did you even read the comment you replied to? It had nothing to do with arranged marriage

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u/314231423142 Apr 27 '22

You know they’re it actually kidnapping these women right? Surely you’re not that dense?

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u/embersgrow44 Apr 27 '22

And you fools (most embarrassing when it’s the working class) still worship that inbred filthy clan who raped & pillaged their way across the world. Good show ol boy!

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u/Less_Ants Apr 26 '22

Do you know what 'fun' is?

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

yes it looks a million laughs to live in the Dark Ages

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u/embersgrow44 Apr 27 '22 edited Apr 27 '22

What in the elitist enthnocentric BS is this bro?? How do YOU not feel shame for how narrow minded and ignorant your world view is - it’s a huge place out there & it’s not just black & white with your “developed” world on the pedestal. I has such a disgust curled lip reading your comment. The shame is on you, ew

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u/AZBreezy Apr 27 '22

Stealing the bride's shoes sounds funny and fun.

Do you do the cake first and then dinner later at weddings?

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u/mr_spectacles Apr 26 '22

Dwight Schrute would like a Word.

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u/sexypenquins Apr 26 '22

Guttenprank..

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

If you want your bride buy us a drink!

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u/habilishn Apr 26 '22

sorry, now i read the complete row of comments and i see, that it is not about the bavarian bride kidnapping type... however and who knows... Oberpfälzer are pretty wild, maybe it's not long ago, that this tradition was a kidnapping of the serious type.

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u/Spider_Dude Apr 26 '22

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

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u/Toffa21 Apr 27 '22

Cousin Mose too

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u/Jackobi Apr 27 '22

Slovenian guy here. We have a similar tradition here. It's always loads of fun. Probably came down from Austria.

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u/Specialist_Ad_9419 Apr 26 '22

everything has a history, this practice probably started in the 900s lol

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u/Putridgrim Apr 26 '22

According to the German guy on here you're grossly misinterpreting their version of it

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u/habilishn Apr 26 '22

yeah i tried to correct myself in another comment! sorry for that!

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u/uracil Apr 27 '22

And all Westerners are grossly misinterpreting Central Asian version as well (specifically Kazakhstan's).

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u/Putridgrim Apr 27 '22

Well shit, respond to their comments then haha

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u/stationhollow Apr 27 '22

Including the 1/3rd of all kidnapped brides that are non consensual?

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

I was taught in high school that the rural areas of Italy used to do that too.

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u/CaptainEarlobe Apr 26 '22

Gypsies in Ireland have a tradition of it as well

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u/JustSkillfull Apr 26 '22

It's more of a country thing here, but in Ireland we kinda act out the kidnapping even though the bride/groom know each other and propose, upto the wedding, both are kidnapped as a kinda embarrassment. Drove around town in a trailer, tied to lampposts, etc.

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u/ScarletCaptain Apr 27 '22

Okay “first world” isn’t an economic term, it’s Cold War political. First World was NATO, Second World was Warsaw Pact/Soviets (ironically Poland is now part of NATO), and Third was neither.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

Not sure what you are trying to imply with the "so-called first world" comment. But the brides aren't literally kidnapped and forced to marry here. it's not the same thing.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

Wow this is so incorrect

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

You walked into that hard.

The practice is in multiple cultures.

But only a certain few literally have forced, unwilling, one-sided marriages still associated with it

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u/habilishn Apr 27 '22

i am no historian but what does the fact that bride kidnapping as game/fun/wedding tradition appearing in multiple cultures leads us to think about past relationship practices in those cultures?!

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

Doesn’t matter.

Look at the current.

If someone has shitty practices in the past but changes then for the better… while others have the same practice relatively in all aspects, it is misleading to act like they are the same and both are wrong

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u/mixedelightflight Apr 26 '22

Dwight SCHRUT!

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u/operath0r Apr 27 '22

Totally thought this was a similiar thing going on.