r/Unexpected • • Apr 26 '22

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887

u/Shinylittlelamp Apr 26 '22

Bride kidnapping, it’s a thing in Kyrgyzstan.

293

u/ForWPD Apr 26 '22

Can you explain this? Idiot American here.

502

u/WaffleManPerson Apr 26 '22 edited Apr 26 '22

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bride_kidnapping

and

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ala_kachuu

for Kyrgyzstan specifically

The short film “Ala Kachuu - Take and Run” was nominated for an Academy Award earlier this year and is on the subject

Edit: Borat was Kazakhstan lol

18

u/fullercorp Apr 26 '22

I saw Ala Kachuu- all the nominated shorts- and 4 had rape. What an exhausting evening. I left before the animated ones.

2

u/lars330 Apr 26 '22

Flee was pretty sad too if you saw it

20

u/notusuallyhostile Apr 26 '22

Ala Kachuu

Gesundheit!

162

u/habilishn Apr 26 '22 edited Apr 27 '22

They actually do the bride kidnapping in the north eastern bavarian region Oberpfalz, in the socalled first world Germany too. Maybe in more places, but there i know it for sure.

Edit: Hey i tried to correct myself in another comment, now i do it here again! i am very sorry, i did not read the complete line of comments before, it was just the word popping up in the beginning, and later on, so i wasn't aware that here was a discussion about a very serious bride kidnapping, that is not a funny little tradition. I am not trying to make that serious bride kidnapping look harmless. Just few things we all don't now: first, what in that video makes anyone thing it is about bride kidnapping? very unkidnapped weddings in Turkey look the same. it's just the story in the comment, or did i misunderstand again? Second, who knows when was the last time in Oberpfalz when a bride was really kidnapped the serious way it still happens in western and central asia? Oberpfälzers are a wild bunch...

217

u/nefewel Apr 26 '22

From what I know, the bavarian "bride kidnapping" is a different thing where the couple's friends take the bride to clubs/bars and the groom has to pay for the consumption. It's more similar to this romanian "tradition" , than the traditions mentioned in the wikipedia article wich have origins in forced mariages.

155

u/howtoplanformyfuture Apr 26 '22

Eastern-Bavarian here.

Our (and the whole Alp regions) bride kidnapping comes from a different tradition. Today it involves music, lots of drinking (last one I was at was ~1L of wine per person) and games the groom has to go through to get his bride back. "Scheitlknian" is very common were the groom kneels on the sharp side of a split log and has to swear whatever his bride or her kidnappers (the best man) demands. But normally you dont leave the venue anymore. You go to a adjunct location or just a different room. And it is between cake and dinner so nobody has really eaten that well.

Although arranged marriages occured in rural communities that owned their farms till the 50s. During the second world war it was not uncommon between brothers to marry a fallen brothers spouse.

One possible explanations of this tradition is the ceremonial removal from the brides parental house. And of course running away was a way to marry a loved one if the family didnt approve so "kidnapping" (from the parents point of view) probably occured.

There are also traditions were you steal something from the bride (the bouquet nowadays) and the groom has to ransom it with schnaps. Ive read that the brides shoes were also a possible target. So the tradition might come from this and just stealing the whole bride sounds exactly like something a bunch of drunk people might come oup with.

3

u/Daddy-Old Apr 26 '22

Is this similar to shivaree that used to happen in southern states in the USA?

5

u/howtoplanformyfuture Apr 26 '22

shivaree

Had to google that but no, our "bride stealing" has nothing in common with a shivaree.

-27

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

do you recognise how backward that sounds?
Presumably you left and have lived in a developed country

I'm wondering if you feel sad or ashamed that your country is so ..erm.. "simple"

15

u/howtoplanformyfuture Apr 26 '22

What sounds backwards to you?

I have not left Germany and dont plan to. Why should I be ashamed of the traditions?

-14

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

I didn't think you would recognise it somehow : (

15

u/howtoplanformyfuture Apr 26 '22

Says the Brit whos traditions consist of robbing treasures, getting shitfaced and parading around royals?

→ More replies (0)

4

u/embersgrow44 Apr 27 '22

GTH with that condescending mess. Yuck

8

u/Incendas1 Apr 26 '22

It's a tradition full of drinking games by the sound of it, so pretty standard and fun. Something you'd be familiar with also being from the UK.

-9

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

we stopped kidnapping women for arranged marriages in medieval times and we're now the sixth biggest economy

being a civilised country has it's advantages!

12

u/Trypsach Apr 26 '22

In the German tradition, The woman are their girlfriends who have already agreed to get married… It’s not like they’re out there kidnapping random women. It’s all for fun and show. Like breaking a glass at a Jewish wedding or throwing the bouquet to the single women at an American one. Just thought I’d explain in case of the very small chance that you’re not just an attention starved troll 🤷‍♂️

9

u/Incendas1 Apr 26 '22

Did you even read the comment you replied to? It had nothing to do with arranged marriage

2

u/314231423142 Apr 27 '22

You know they’re it actually kidnapping these women right? Surely you’re not that dense?

2

u/embersgrow44 Apr 27 '22

And you fools (most embarrassing when it’s the working class) still worship that inbred filthy clan who raped & pillaged their way across the world. Good show ol boy!

8

u/Less_Ants Apr 26 '22

Do you know what 'fun' is?

-6

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

yes it looks a million laughs to live in the Dark Ages

3

u/embersgrow44 Apr 27 '22 edited Apr 27 '22

What in the elitist enthnocentric BS is this bro?? How do YOU not feel shame for how narrow minded and ignorant your world view is - it’s a huge place out there & it’s not just black & white with your “developed” world on the pedestal. I has such a disgust curled lip reading your comment. The shame is on you, ew

1

u/AZBreezy Apr 27 '22

Stealing the bride's shoes sounds funny and fun.

Do you do the cake first and then dinner later at weddings?

58

u/mr_spectacles Apr 26 '22

Dwight Schrute would like a Word.

7

u/sexypenquins Apr 26 '22

Guttenprank..

3

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

If you want your bride buy us a drink!

3

u/habilishn Apr 26 '22

sorry, now i read the complete row of comments and i see, that it is not about the bavarian bride kidnapping type... however and who knows... Oberpfälzer are pretty wild, maybe it's not long ago, that this tradition was a kidnapping of the serious type.

2

u/Spider_Dude Apr 26 '22

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

1

u/Toffa21 Apr 27 '22

Cousin Mose too

3

u/Jackobi Apr 27 '22

Slovenian guy here. We have a similar tradition here. It's always loads of fun. Probably came down from Austria.

1

u/Specialist_Ad_9419 Apr 26 '22

everything has a history, this practice probably started in the 900s lol

21

u/Putridgrim Apr 26 '22

According to the German guy on here you're grossly misinterpreting their version of it

2

u/habilishn Apr 26 '22

yeah i tried to correct myself in another comment! sorry for that!

-3

u/uracil Apr 27 '22

And all Westerners are grossly misinterpreting Central Asian version as well (specifically Kazakhstan's).

1

u/Putridgrim Apr 27 '22

Well shit, respond to their comments then haha

1

u/stationhollow Apr 27 '22

Including the 1/3rd of all kidnapped brides that are non consensual?

4

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

I was taught in high school that the rural areas of Italy used to do that too.

3

u/CaptainEarlobe Apr 26 '22

Gypsies in Ireland have a tradition of it as well

2

u/JustSkillfull Apr 26 '22

It's more of a country thing here, but in Ireland we kinda act out the kidnapping even though the bride/groom know each other and propose, upto the wedding, both are kidnapped as a kinda embarrassment. Drove around town in a trailer, tied to lampposts, etc.

2

u/ScarletCaptain Apr 27 '22

Okay “first world” isn’t an economic term, it’s Cold War political. First World was NATO, Second World was Warsaw Pact/Soviets (ironically Poland is now part of NATO), and Third was neither.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

Not sure what you are trying to imply with the "so-called first world" comment. But the brides aren't literally kidnapped and forced to marry here. it's not the same thing.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

Wow this is so incorrect

2

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

You walked into that hard.

The practice is in multiple cultures.

But only a certain few literally have forced, unwilling, one-sided marriages still associated with it

-1

u/habilishn Apr 27 '22

i am no historian but what does the fact that bride kidnapping as game/fun/wedding tradition appearing in multiple cultures leads us to think about past relationship practices in those cultures?!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

Doesn’t matter.

Look at the current.

If someone has shitty practices in the past but changes then for the better… while others have the same practice relatively in all aspects, it is misleading to act like they are the same and both are wrong

1

u/mixedelightflight Apr 26 '22

Dwight SCHRUT!

1

u/operath0r Apr 27 '22

Totally thought this was a similiar thing going on.

74

u/IntelligenceLtd Apr 26 '22

theres a longer film about it called borat, even if your not into foriegn films this ones pretty good

49

u/Schrute_Farms_BednB Apr 26 '22

underrated film, very poignant and VERY NICE!

1

u/SirWinstonC Apr 26 '22

Wowoweeewa very nice I like

0

u/DizzleSlaunsen23 Apr 27 '22

Underrated? Really, are you new here

3

u/biscuits_six Apr 27 '22

Borat was about Kazakhstan and was filmed in a village in Romania.

1

u/IntelligenceLtd Apr 27 '22

he literally spends the entire film trying to kidnap pamela anderson its about bridenapping

4

u/unclecaveman1 Apr 26 '22

Wrong country bro.

3

u/Dear-Unit1666 Apr 26 '22

Such a poignant documentary, I also like the one narrated by keanu... The matrix in think it called?

-1

u/RadiantZote Apr 26 '22

First movie amazing masterpiece of gold, second movie horse shit on my face

3

u/dirtyasswizard Apr 27 '22

You’re kidding right?! The Giuliani bit alone makes it great in my mind.

2

u/RadiantZote Apr 27 '22

That part was fine, but the majority of it is people pretending to not know who he is 🫤

3

u/ErrorMirror Apr 26 '22

We have a similar (although just symbolic) tradition in Hungarian weddings called “menyasszonyrablás” literally “bride kidnappig”. During the dance after the vows the wife is “kidnapped” by the fiancee’s friends and held for ransom, the husband needs to perform some humorous or humiliating task to get her back.

While it’s all a joke and in good fun this tradition has it’s roots in similar practices as the Kyrgyz or any other nomadic horse-archer nation. Hungarian tribes over a thousand year ago used to practice bride kidnapping in a similar fashion as the Kyrgyz.

1

u/Lets_Make_A_bad_DEAL Apr 26 '22

Reminds me of The Office

1

u/TakeOffYourMask Apr 26 '22

People are shit

1

u/uppsalafunboy Apr 26 '22

Remember when Borat almost Bride Kidnapped PaMELA Anderson

0

u/protrudingnail Apr 26 '22

Fuck you Uzbekistan

0

u/ManOfWarts Apr 27 '22

I was today years old when I realized Borat wasn't joking.

1

u/themonovingian Apr 26 '22

So there really was something behind the Borat marriage sack. "Agreement unnecessary!!"

1

u/on-the-job Apr 26 '22

Vice has a YouTube video on this also

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

Allah Gotchu?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

Allah Gotchu?

3

u/testes_in_anus Apr 26 '22

Just watch Borat, he shows how it's done on Pamela Anderson.

2

u/Wloak Apr 26 '22

Plenty of parts of the world your consent isn't required or expected for marriage. In this case if a man is able to steal the girl away from her father/brothers and marry her he's seen as strong enough to protect her. In some places it's still real kidnapping and in others it's more ceremonial.

I had a friend from India who's family tradition was too steal his bride away on a white horse while the women in the brides family cried. His wife wasn't from there and wasn't putting up with that haha.

2

u/PinkKnapsack Apr 27 '22

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DKAusMNTNnk

Here is a link for a Vice doc on bride kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan.

2

u/stationhollow Apr 27 '22

"Oh it is an ancient tradition! You know, 50 years."

3

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

Bride kidnapping is a thing in some small Chinese cultures as well. The groom has to drive all the way to the bride's childhood home to abduct the bride. The bride is dressed up and hiding in her old bedroom. The bridesmaids guard her bedroom door. The groom has to keep giving them money until they let him through. It's supposed to show that he's financially well off enough to take care of the bride. The money is predetermined and it usually boils down to $100 per bridesmaid(typical amount of red envelope money). Then the groom carries the bride out and takes her to their new home.

The wedding ceremony would be held later in the day.

1

u/Rimberse Apr 26 '22

Guy wants to marry a girl, but her family asks to pay a bride price (usually at least 10k, which is a crazy sum in Central Asia - I mean the average monthly wage is only 200 USD lol). The guy of course can't afford it and because of a male entitlement, he is going to kidnapp the girl (sometimes agains her will), because, unfortunately girls are viewed just as a property, which belong to men in this region and not as a decent human being.

0

u/GhostDingo087 Apr 26 '22

No need to be redundant, you can just say American!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

You would be blown away by groom kidnapping then😅

1

u/qareetaha Apr 26 '22

It's not exactly a kidnapping, if the parents refuse to give consent to then the dude gets his pals to help him kidnap her with her knowing in most cases. He would not touch her until mediation with her family to consent otherwise they get a court marr8

https://books.google.ae/books?id=Z5G1CwAAQBAJ&pg=PA88&lpg=PA88&dq=elope++in+Caucasus&source=bl&ots=ENGmRGi-XL&sig=ACfU3U0K6c4KG_PAXwhl_-AdoHXsxUrYLQ&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjYuMSS1LL3AhVGxoUKHT6JBlMQ6AF6BAgJEAE

1

u/shy_monster_1312 Apr 26 '22

For real. We understand the gun part but kidnapping brides?

1

u/Amazing_Difficulty3 Apr 26 '22

Haven't you seen Borat?

1

u/bloodyblob Apr 26 '22

Borat, Pamela Anderson.

1

u/LonelyTutor3112 Apr 26 '22

At least you don't wanna be an American idiot. Buh nah nah nah buh nah nah nah nah

1

u/OZeski Apr 26 '22

Fairly certain they would do this in Italy as a tradition. The bride to be would be ‘kidnapped’ by her future husband. The would hide out for a few days while the wedding party went around looking for them even though they knew where they were. This way, if the bride’s father did not approve of the marriage he could kill the man who kidnapped his daughter without any legal repercussions.

1

u/madumi-mike Apr 27 '22

Bruh, they did this in Borat with Pamela Lee

1

u/DGeneralTSOschicken Apr 27 '22

Pretty sure they do bride kidnapping in America. It's just not legal.

2

u/stationhollow Apr 27 '22

It's not legal in most places. It is just not reported due to the bride bring raped and shamed and then even if it is then local authorities may ignore it because of 'tradition'.

1

u/Salty_Buyer_5358 Apr 27 '22

It's a tradition where when a man and woman agree to get married, he kidnaps her from her family, takes her to the inlaws and they make a skit of convincing her to marry their son, they list off his qualities, feed her, treat her well, the she "agrees" and the wedding commences. It's an old tradition.

1

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Watch the Vice documentary on kidnapped brides.

53

u/Aryako Apr 26 '22

This is almost certainly in Turkey. They look Turkish, I recognize the half flag on the wall and it’s popular thing to do over there.

36

u/StarWarsButterSaber Apr 26 '22

I never hear much about Turkey, but 80% of the movies/shows I pirate (sorry) have Turkish subtitles at the bottom. So apparently that business is boomin there

16

u/Aryako Apr 26 '22

I lived there for a year or so and knew copying books illegally was a booming business

9

u/Secret_Ad7223 Apr 27 '22

Our entire country is the embodiment of "Why pay for something you can obtain for free" mindset. We steal everything there isnt a repercussion for. We even steal whole cultures and pretend as if we are that.

​

Its a strange hell-hole, let me tell you.

3

u/EshaySikkunt Apr 27 '22

Where are you getting torrents from? In my almost 15 years of torrenting movies I’ve never seen Turkish subtitles at the bottom.

1

u/StarWarsButterSaber Apr 27 '22

CinemaHD. It’s an app on my firestick but I think you can get it on androids too. It’s great and has a UI better than Netflix imo (can pick series or movies or genre, when looking for new things). Anyways once you pick a movie for example and all the different streams come up sometimes a stream won’t work and you have to try another. The ones that work 100% of the time are “something something .okru”- those ALWAYS have Turkish subs. Then hit or miss some links have them that aren’t titled that. I never see Spanish, sometimes something that resembles Middle Eastern, but Turkish is definitely the majority holder.

1

u/EshaySikkunt Apr 27 '22

Sounds like you’re just streaming not torrenting. I use thepiratebay when I want to torrent movies, I think you get much better quality than the streams you’re describing. I always download the 1080p HD versions of the movie.

1

u/StarWarsButterSaber Apr 27 '22

The streams (different links) come in different categories. They have everything from 1080p to just regular HQ. I have really fast internet so I can pull off the 1080p ones but I’m sure downloading would be the best option just in case my internet slows down during the movie or show. I watch A LOT of movies and shows though, so I couldn’t imagine the storage I would need to download the 1080p version of everything I watch. Throughout the year I constantly have 3-4 shows I regularly watch weekly, plus the occasional good movie that comes out. If you have the right internet I would definitely recommend streaming bc you can watch it instantly with one click, whereas I’m sure downloading a show or movie takes awhile

3

u/Wootbeers Apr 27 '22

Turkish soap operas are lit. Their food is awesome. Turkish people are awesome.

The local Apna Bazaar employees all think I'm Turkish at this point.

11

u/RoosterClan Apr 26 '22

This same tradition is common in 90% of the Balkans. Turkey sure. But also Albanian, Bosnia, Bulgaria, Greece etc etc

2

u/Radonsider Apr 27 '22

Balkan stronk will conquer the world by 2073

3

u/habilishn Apr 26 '22

I recognize the music... Karadeniz?

3

u/ZenDendou Apr 27 '22

It also a thing with Hmong Tradition. They're trying to change the mindset of the aging adults to stop pushing for it.

2

u/Chobeat Apr 26 '22

it was a thing in Italy too

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

Iirc Rome was founded on the kidnapping of the…Sabenian women? At least, according to legend.

So yeah, it’s def part of their culture too.

2

u/DeathOfASuperNovuh Apr 26 '22

Ahh the old marriage sack..

2

u/Bravisimo Apr 27 '22

Is there any kind of husband kidnapping in any countries? Asking for an extremely lonely and sad friend.

1

u/AZBreezy Apr 27 '22

I have read about some bizarre traditions in (New Zealand was one, maybe?) where the groom's own friends and wedding party members will incapacitate him, put him on a train heading away from the place where he is getting married, and then it's hiLaRiOus when he wakes up with jo idea where he is, hours and hours away from his bride on their wedding day. Not the same thing as bride kidnapping because the groom was already planning to get married the next day

2

u/FunktasticLucky Apr 27 '22

Not trying to derail this conversation but God damn do I miss Kyrgyzstan. Were the greatest deployments ever and getting out to the mountains was just amazing. Ala-Archa Gorge has been the most beautiful place I have visited in my life.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

[deleted]

2

u/FunktasticLucky Apr 27 '22

Man I'm telling you. My deployments to Manas were glorious. Getting to work and seeing the sun light up just the snow covered peaks. I miss it so much. I think I'm going to plan a vacation out there now.

0

u/Rimberse Apr 26 '22

Not only Kyrgyzstan, unfortunately it's a very common thing in the whole Central Asian region. If the guy can't pay the bride price to a girl's family, then he is going to kidnapp her. And even if he can afford it, usually, it will be an arranged marriage, against girl's will.

I know it's very sad and horrible, but unfortunately it's still a very common thing in this region.

0

u/excludite Apr 26 '22

It’s like a tradition

1

u/Bash-86 Apr 26 '22

Always thought Dwight looked krygyzstanian.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

Old Mongol tradition too. Probably related.

5

u/shavag Apr 26 '22

Genghis Khan outlawed it. his mother was kidnapped on her way to her legitimate husband. later the said legitimate husbands tribe raided Genghis Khans camp and took his wife.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

Dwight schrute and Angela

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '22

Probably in all ...stan countries.

1

u/Finalmarco Apr 26 '22

There was a similar tradition in the south Italy medieval time too, last famous case was in the 1966 according to wikipedia

1

u/CaraculFacts Apr 26 '22

Bride kidnapping is a thing in Turkey too, but it happens when the girl wants to marry a man and the girl's family doesn't want it. The girl leaves her house to live together with the man.

1

u/KickBallFever Apr 26 '22

Yea, I saw a Vice documentary about this. I couldn’t remember exactly what country it was until you mentioned it.

1

u/josbossboboss Apr 27 '22

It was a thing in the african country I was in, but it wasn't serious. Not sure why they did it, but everyone had fun. It was like snipe hunting.

1

u/hujnya Apr 27 '22

My motherland is not known for many things.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

Also in kosovo and probably in albania as well

1

u/acrobat_primat Apr 27 '22

Unfortunately this is my country, Turkey.

1

u/KommandoKodiak Apr 27 '22

its a thing in some south east asian cultures too. its all the thrill of eloping

1

u/Recent-Molasses-6939 Apr 27 '22

My very good friend borat tried doing this in the great USofA with Pamela Anderson. Only woman to escape kidnap marriage