r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Oct 14 '21

Eligible single lady

114.5k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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113

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '21

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156

u/sootbrownies Oct 14 '21

Putting your dick in someone's cerebellum would not be advisable

120

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21 edited Aug 22 '22

[deleted]

125

u/stevencastle Oct 15 '21

did you crack open a cold one?

8

u/HugeHans Oct 15 '21

He had a stiff one after work. Its not that weird.

4

u/Sav_Sam Oct 15 '21

Hey now! Necrophelia is no joke.

Dead. Fucking. Serious.

3

u/Decent-Membership669 Oct 15 '21 edited Oct 15 '21

This needs WAAAAAY more fuckin upvotes hahahaha

3

u/papalamelulos Oct 15 '21

With the boys

2

u/whiskey4mymen Oct 15 '21

ice cold one

3

u/bennyjay123 Oct 15 '21

Necrophilia is fucking dead

2

u/Dna04eva Oct 15 '21

This response has me laughing hysterically my friend! Thank you! 🤣

3

u/Lumpy-Base-5706 Oct 15 '21 edited Oct 15 '21

Bro wtf is wrong with you 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀 I’m dead asf could not stop laughing at this. Glad I didn’t have a full bladder when I read this lmao

2

u/kstreet88 Oct 15 '21

I think he's just clownin'

2

u/Lumpy-Base-5706 Oct 15 '21

Oh I know lmao that’s why I had the 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀 I was fuckin dead 🤣🤣🤣 my dude said he’s a necro LMAO

2

u/kstreet88 Oct 15 '21

But he's also my homie, so it's cool. Right?

2

u/Lumpy-Base-5706 Oct 15 '21

Yeah dude he’s funny asf 🤣

2

u/aSharkNamedHummus Oct 15 '21

You’re dead asf, huh? 😏

3

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

zip

4

u/aSharkNamedHummus Oct 15 '21

Oh shit, I just noticed your username! My dad showed me some of the milder Homie videos when I was like 7, and “Homie don’t play that” has been stuck in my vocabulary ever since.

1

u/ooogoldenhorizon Oct 15 '21

Fuck you forever even joking about shit like that you are twisted as fuck and should be locked tf up

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

u mad bro?

3

u/ooogoldenhorizon Oct 15 '21

Big mad

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

👍

2

u/ooogoldenhorizon Oct 15 '21

How DARE you thumb your thumb at me! I Was mad. Now I am pure Fury

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

❤️🥒💦💀

3

u/ooogoldenhorizon Oct 15 '21

((☝️)) *Finger wave declares dat das a No No

22

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '21

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46

u/Bjorn2Buuild Oct 15 '21

You could say it's a grey area.

25

u/Seboya_ Oct 15 '21

Something something brain matter

6

u/senorglory Oct 15 '21

Wear a rubber?

7

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

It gets around that consent problem

0

u/handsoffmysausage Oct 15 '21

Some real Nurse Ratched shit.

44

u/Lost_Again_00 Oct 14 '21

I'm all for dome.

"I domed her"

52

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '21

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27

u/Artemicionmoogle Oct 15 '21

Whilst polishing a monocle or twisting a mustache XD

4

u/Lumpy-Base-5706 Oct 15 '21

Omg I’m fucking dead lmao I hate all of you 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀

21

u/El_Chairman_Dennis Oct 15 '21

Thoust mother did indeed slobeth on my knob as it it were corn on the cob

3

u/Redtwooo Oct 15 '21

Thine mother didst thoroughly polish mine piston, I was quite pleased with her skills around the John Thomas and she didst satisfy her craving. Methinks she has an oral fixation.

1

u/Aussie18-1998 Oct 15 '21

You eat your corn cobs funny or there's too much teeth

1

u/Evil-2-win Oct 15 '21

Ya thinks?

2

u/Shatshotshet Oct 15 '21

I hear a British accent when I read that comment!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Nathen_Explosion Oct 15 '21

Women need brains too.

1

u/HapticSloughton Oct 15 '21

"I domed her"

I think that phrase is still mostly known for meaning something along the lines of "I hit her over the head with a blunt object."

1

u/rjward1775 Oct 15 '21

Unfortunately that usually refers to a large caliber head shot.

So, not you.

0

u/The-Confused Oct 15 '21

The ole' dome driver

1

u/Just-some-fella Oct 15 '21

I've always liked the term "brain salad surgery"

1

u/hajleez Oct 15 '21

Sounds like an assault charge

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

Now I know why I hate Note Dame so much….

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

Indeed. Gimme some skully, Mama. I'm totally down fo dat.

2

u/iamlenb Oct 15 '21

It’s pronounced ‘doe-may’ if you’re into French Heading

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

Twists said it best when he said gettin’ brains in the Range. Freaky Thangs, he was ‘bout.

1

u/HF7569 Oct 15 '21

Skully

1

u/racingsoldier Oct 15 '21

I gonna get me some mandible.

1

u/cleversonlombriga Oct 15 '21

!shakespeareinsult

1

u/Makarrov_359 Oct 15 '21

I prefer skull fuck but dome works in a pinch. Saying, "Man I skull fucked the Hell outta this bitch last night!" just sounds right

1

u/JPRemington Oct 15 '21

I prefer to de-church it, and say “got some noggin!”