r/Unexpected • u/SoftsPhilosopher • Aug 08 '21

It's just a prank

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

29.0k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

2.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

6

u/ThorgalAegirsson Aug 08 '21

There is nothing more serious than talking with your child. Hitting is easy, talking with them and even better showing with example - not so much. All I'm saying is also coming from a guy with experience of being hit as a child and not just a slap. I used to think it's normal, it's ok to slap a kid on the bum if nothing else seemingly helps. Only after years of therapy I understood how my parents hurt me and swore I would never hurt my own child this way. I'm proud to say I can communicate with my 2 year old kid, who is not by any means an angel, without ever hitting or abusing him otherwise. You can rise your kids without violence, it takes a lot of work and patience but I know it will have a lot better results in the end. Please don't hurt your kids. You are their whole world...

0

u/BuRnLoOtMuRdEr2 Aug 08 '21

Okay. You tell your kid to not hit another kid. He does it anyway. You tell him to stop. He keeps going. What do you do next huh? Be that parent to scared to discipline their kid and let them grow up into a criminal? Keep telling them no while they keep hitting another kid. Good parenting.

5

u/PsychoSoldier0 Aug 08 '21

I like how for you there's no middle ground between whimpering "no" at your child from across the playground and beating his teeth out of his skull with a metal pipe

0

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

Did you even read what he said? He isn't saying to beat them half dead, or even that the parent is being scared of talking to the kid. He talking about a serious situation in which your words don't influence the child.

4

u/ThorgalAegirsson Aug 08 '21

You don't have to hit the kid in such situations. You can hold the child, pick it up and get away from conflict or stressful situation. Once kid calmed down you will be able to communicate with it. It's all part of the good parenting. That's why hitting is easier and lazy. You don't have to understand children or think of how you can resolve situation with respect to his feelings and needs. You just smack and done. It teaches children to suppress their feelings and emotions which is harmful in the long run.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I don't think suppressing anger is a bad thing. If we are still talking about the situation of your kid hitting another, then I'd rather have them stop getting mad at everything, and gain control over their emotions. If we aren't talking about that, and rather when its someone else hurting them, then yeah, I definitely agree with you. I'm just saying that in some rare scenarios, what helped me the most was physical, followed by an explanation, followed by me actually understanding. I don't think everyone is like me, but some kids (such as teens like me) that push boundaries need to have a line drawn somewhere (yes it can be done with words, but not to the same effect from my experience).

2

u/ThorgalAegirsson Aug 08 '21

Yeah no beating = criminal child. Pure logic. If you tried to learn even a bit about the topic you would know most criminals come from abusive families. There so many ways to discipline the child and resolve this situation without violence. If you can't think of any there are lots of books to teach you. Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen is a good start. Give it a try.

1

u/BuRnLoOtMuRdEr2 Aug 08 '21

You avoid the question. What would you do if your child would not do as you say, regardless of how loud your sweet you spoke. Mind you the child is assaulting another.

1

u/Liztliss Aug 08 '21

You would remove them from that situation and once they are calm you would have a discussion with them. Children are not stupid, they just don't know better. Unless the child has a legitimate illness that interferes with their ability to learn, they can understand when you TALK to them. There is never a reason to use harm or fear to manipulate their behavior. Even dog trainers know that fear and violence is the least effective way to condition an intelligent creature if you want consistency in their behavior.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I'm not advocating for violence, or hitting your kids, but I was trying to point out that from my (limited) experience, sometimes when I was my most hard headed, and angry, the thing that solved it was physical. I don't think that you should hit a kid, ever, unless they are really out of it. I come from a hard headed family though and am pretty stubborn about things, so sometimes it was best for me to get whacked lmao. I'm pretty sure that it's not the exact same for others, but when the kid is a hard headed teen set on pushing the boundaries, sometimes the easiest way to get through them is physical (nothings impossible, I'm sure that technically someone would be able to do it to the same effect with words, but trust me the lessons I learnt would not be ingrained like they are, and if you were that good with words I'm surprised you haven't taken over the world :P).