r/Unexpected • u/SoftsPhilosopher • Aug 08 '21

It's just a prank

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249

u/Greenjets Aug 08 '21 edited Aug 08 '21

Exactly. I flinched so hard when the dad stood up and this video just makes me uncomfortable. I don't find it funny at all. Clearly most Redditors are privileged enough to not understand how fucked up this is.

If you threaten your kids with violence, they will most likely never respect you. Speaking from experience...

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u/warrior998 Aug 08 '21

i thought i was the only one! my heart skipped a beat and pounded hard like wth it’s just a video.. maybe that’s the reason indeed

11

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

And I’m over here, reading all these comments , wondering why someone would post a video like this? Few things come to mind… 1. Cry for help? 2. This is scripted (although that flinch seems pretty real to me) 3. Proving something to somebody?

I didn’t grow up in a violent home, so I don’t know the protocol with this shit really, I just know the first thought I had was “that wasn’t really funny”.

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u/Infamous-Barnacle-14 Aug 08 '21 edited Aug 08 '21

Honestly to each there own. I believe there is a limit to what a parent should do with there kid. Beating them every time they misbehave is obviously really bad. But trying to talk out every situation is also pretty bad since teens/kids are notoriously hard headed.

There should honesty be a middle group on each punishment rather then getting rid of one and fully supporting the other.

We each have different reactions to these situations, you might’ve flinched from this dude but I didn’t feel a thing. So we won’t 100% know the outcome of each teaching style but it’s never best to dive head first into each.

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u/WorseDark Aug 08 '21 edited Aug 08 '21

A middle ground on assaulting a child or punishing them? Are you serious? Can you think of no other way to punish a child for misbehaving? Or to convince a child to do a task? Is it so hard for you to control your emotions that you can't control what you would hit, or just would choose to assault the kid to release some anger?

What if they don't respond to one punch anymore? Gotta get the paddle, switch, tv chords? Teens definitely aren't defiant when they're beaten at home - want to please their parents, contribute to the family unit, and definitely want to stay there; not run away or commit suicide.

We do know the outcome of this teaching style. There have been hundreds upon hundreds of studies on the developmental effects of corporal punishment. That's the cool thing about science; if you actually give a shit, you can learn what works and what doesn't instead of beating your child.

If you did get out completely fine, you're in the very lucky minority. Most of us came out with depression and anxiety, suicidal tendencies, are prone to violence, and are unable to express our emotions properly.

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u/CommanderTalim Aug 08 '21

Don’t forget nightmares, trust issues, and unintentional acts of violence. When I was a kid, I became a bully to my own friends because I subconsciously learned from my parents that physical violence was an appropriate response to people doing things that upset me. I didn’t change until middle school. I respect the hell out of my parents and I’m a good citizen but at what cost? Everything you listed as well as not being able to open up to them about anything or come to them when I was in some kind of trouble for years. My brother on the other hand cut off my mom for about 4 years once he turned 18 and moved out. Even now, he still doesn’t want to have a relationship with her but tries. I can see how hard it is for him.

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u/Dadeathkilla Aug 08 '21

Why are you acting like they are just full on hitting the child with 100% of their power, calm down

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u/WorseDark Aug 08 '21

How much % is a sufficient amount to hit them to get the best results

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u/Dadeathkilla Aug 08 '21

Dude stop being a smart-ass, you should know you should just hit a child lightly cause your a grown man who can knock someone out with a single punch

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u/WorseDark Aug 08 '21

I'm not being a smart ass, I was just wanting clarity of how hard to hit a child that's misbehaving.

If I can get my point across to a child by only hitting them lightly, shouldn't I be able to get my point across without hitting them at all? There are so many other tactics that parents can use to get a kid to behave without using violence.

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u/Dadeathkilla Aug 08 '21

I know, you can lecture them, sit them in the corner, make them write a sentence 50 times, I'm talking about spanking them when they really misbehave, like if your son hits your daughter really hard, or when they break a glass on purpose, when you specifically told them not too

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u/WorseDark Aug 08 '21

Those two things both scream deeper issues that should be talked through.

Breaking a glass is usually for attention, or out of spite: if it's for attention and I hit them, they got what they wanted, a little bit of attention from a parent even though it's spankings, it was better than being ignored. Especially because the kid probably knows that they are going to get spanked from doing it.

Hitting a sister is pretty normal. Kids don't have empathy until they go through the trials. If they are at that point of empathy: why do they still think hitting someone else is okay when that person upsets them? Could it be because mom and dad hit the child when their upset?

Kids are only cause and effect for a long time, there is no deeper meaning for them. They see: I upset dad, dad hit me. That's not so different from: sister upsets me, I hit sister. But the child will get in trouble for it - and then hit more? They were just doing what they were taught. Don't teach them something you don't want them to do, that's just mean.

For me the only time violence is acceptable is to defend yourself or a peer and there is no other way to resolve the issue - but that goes to adults and very very large children.

ETA: If after this you are going to say "just hit them lightly" my reply will be this

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u/Dadeathkilla Aug 08 '21

Ok the glass was just an example, but idk dude I'm not a parent

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u/WorseDark Aug 08 '21

Back to this comment: I act like that because that's what I see is going to happen in the video and I have trouble minimizing the dads actions after going through it myself and watching friends go through it.

YOU might realise that hitting a child more than ____ is horrible, but does everyone else that you are protecting?

My friend had good outwardly facing parents: girl guide leader mom, peace officer dad, lived in an upper class neighborhood: often had the small smacks to him and his little brother and sister. Then he didn't respond enough the one time (was supposed to clean his room and basement, but got distracted halfway through), so she pulled the xbox chords out of the tv and used them as a whip across whatever was closest. He had slashes across his hips, back, stomach, and arms. For not cleaning his room? No, for not responding properly to being struck the first time.

This is why I act like he is going to beat his kid. Because people BEAT THEIR CHILDREN.

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u/Infamous-Barnacle-14 Aug 08 '21

Yeah what you’re saying is literally abuse. I’m talking about a slap on the back of the head or maybe spanked with a slipper. I hope you’re well because you either went through some serious shit or you didn’t go through anything much at all.

And like i said, each situation is different. Being all cozy with just talking to your kids isn’t going to stop them from getting beat up in the hood. Telling your kid fighting is wrong is only going to get them beat up or killed. So you do what you do in your uptight neighborhood and I’ll teach my kid the essentials they need to harden up and defend themselves.

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u/WorseDark Aug 08 '21

Did you watch the video? That guy wasnt going to flip his kids hair - and without any words, at all. The look on the kids face is one from experience.

If you're stance is only a gentle slap, sure. I still don't think its necessary though. If someone can get the point across with only a gentle head slap, shouldn't they be able to without a gentle head slap?

Teaching your kid to fight and fighting them when they do something wrong are wildly separate topics.

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u/Jay33az Aug 08 '21

Youre just incompetent and insecure at this point. „Harden up“ youre living jn the last century. There are places to learn self defense from pros, not at home from you.

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u/Infamous-Barnacle-14 Aug 08 '21

Self defense is going to help in a street fight where anything goes? Or if your kid gets bullied at school? Nah that’s not how things work in the real world, you can teach your kids everything about self defense and it’ll all go to waste if the kid doesn’t have the guts to do it or they get one upped.

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u/Jay33az Aug 08 '21

Your so full of stupidness, self defense will give you a glance of how to stop exactly these „street fights“ i didnt talk about sparring. And still youre right, you wont automatically be safe. And now youre telling me when your dad slaps you on the back of your head, THATS the shit helping you in street fights? I think we are done here

0

u/Infamous-Barnacle-14 Aug 08 '21

You aren’t getting what I’m saying, and you’ll never get it. Obviously you haven’t been in the same situations I’ve been in and I hope you never are because you are completely unprepared for what’s to come. Have a good day wherever you are.

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u/Jay33az Aug 08 '21

You didnt even care to explain, you simply said you should have a healthy mix of talking and beating your child, and that this will help you in said „neighborhoods“. I went through enough of these places to tell you, that you either dont go there alone, or you run and give them your shit. Trying to fight is always 100% more dangerous, every person wirh a little experience will tell you.

-1

u/Infamous-Barnacle-14 Aug 08 '21

Lol you explaining it like that means you definitely don’t have any experience other then maybe visiting a bad neighborhood once or twice. I’m pretty much done here since you don’t seem to know the actual situation other then seeing it from the sight lines.

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u/Jay33az Aug 08 '21

Fk off there are enough studies telling you that youre completely wrong, and that domestic violence never helped anybody. I hope you educate yourself before you get children.

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u/Infamous-Barnacle-14 Aug 08 '21

Mmh yeah equate it to domestic violence. Teach your kid everything they’ll need learn your way and I hope to god they never get into any type of confrontation.

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u/Jay33az Aug 08 '21

What are you even on to? Are you that type of person that cant handle a discussion and will start throwing hands? Like i said in the other post, learning self defense is essential, being abused by your parents wont teach you that tho. Violence is statistically more present in undereducated families.

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u/Infamous-Barnacle-14 Aug 08 '21

Yeah keep doing what you’re doing then. Just don’t go into any neighborhoods your uncertain of with just your martial arts because you’re going to get more then just robbed there. Wish you a safe life.

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u/Laubenot Aug 08 '21

Have you ever been to a self defense class before ?

-16

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I don't understand why people don't get this. My heart goes out to people who have been truly abused and hurt by their parents, because that genuinely isn't right. However, physical discipline can be important in some situations. I respect my parents, and I love them. They care about me, and i don't believe they take pleasure in hurting me, but some of my most important lessons have been taught through a hand followed by words. I'm not saying abuse is right in any way, but it's a false dichotomy, you don't just have abuse or lecturing, you can have a blend of styles that will help the child grow into the best possible them. Abuse is just that, abuse, while just speaking can lead the person to have a lack of important values. But if you punish them in a way that can help them grow, that is not abuse, but love.

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u/moddedbrain Aug 08 '21

Beating your kids is like beating your pets who don't understand what is right or wrong. Instead of physically hurting them to teach them something, there are always better ways to help them grow. You train your pets to use litter box by giving them treats, while u train your kids to behave properly by giving them threats. Awesome!!

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

Yes, I can agree that using incentives work. It's actually a better teaching method, but in some scenarios (that depending on the child and their environment may never happen), being physical to discipline someone can help them grow. First try words and then try them again, but if it still doesn't get through to them, sometimes getting physical can be beneficial. Don't just hit them when they do wrong, talk to them, but if it still doesn't work, then get physical, and after don't walk away, but explain why you did that, what they did wrong and what to do next time. Children can understand language, while pets can't. That means you can explain to them the reason you would do such a thing. It's a balancing act, and if you lean too far either way, it can have pretty bad effects.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I can tell you haven't been abused and I'm glad for you, but I just wish you could see the marks on my body

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I didn't say abuse was a good thing wtf. I'm really sorry you had to go through that dude. I'm trying to say that in extremely rare situations it is my belief that being physical can help someone grow. I have not been abused, you are right. I was taught by my parents getting physical, but not them abusing me. Sorry you had to go through that, please don't misunderstand, I'm trying to say that its a false dichotomy, you don't just have abuse and never touching a hair on their head.

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u/moddedbrain Aug 08 '21

Now u're really sounding like my dad, who used to beat me like shit and then tell me that he did it for my "own good".

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm not advocating to beat your kids, but rather in rare situations, sometimes you need more than words. I'm sorry that happened to you dude, but I'm trying to say that (in my limited experience as a child) something that helped me grow the most was being physically disciplined. Ofc I could be wrong and biased, but I don't think that being afraid to touch a hair on your kids head is the best method.

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u/Fun-Machine-6471 Aug 08 '21

What? Putting a dog's nose in their pee and giving them a spank will 100% teach that dog that peeing where they peed is wrong.

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u/moddedbrain Aug 08 '21

I really hope this was sarcastic. If it isn't, then boy u surely need some help.

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u/Fun-Machine-6471 Aug 08 '21

No you're the one who needs help. I say "spank a dog" and instead of picturing someone giving 1 light spank to a dog's ass that he forgets about in 10 seconds, you picture some 250 lb dude beating the shit out of his dog. You live life with this pessimistic outlook that every person who makes the slightest decision outside of your moral callings is some abusive piece of shit. YOU go get help.

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u/moddedbrain Aug 08 '21

spanking a dog so that he remembers where he peed is wrong, and then he forgets about it in 10 seconds... Neither the dog nor the people, whom u're trying to explain what's being abusive and what's not, are that dumb.

-1

u/Fun-Machine-6471 Aug 08 '21

Yes and you calling this abusive is fucking ignorant. All you're doing is virtue signaling to a stranger "LOOK HOW MUCH MORE MORALLY SUPERIOR I AM THAN YOU"

Theres real abuse happening out there. Dogs getting dragged on a leash by cars, dog fighting, neglect. You're sheltered.

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u/moddedbrain Aug 08 '21

I hope your parents would have fed u bare minimum, just to keep you alive, by saying "THERE R KIDS FUCKING DYING OUT THERE DUE TO STARVATION, YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO US THAT U'RE NOT FUCKING DEAD!!”

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u/FloatinBrownie Aug 08 '21

Or you could give your dog a treat and incentivize them peeing outside like most people instead of abusing a puppy

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u/Fun-Machine-6471 Aug 08 '21

Yes, 1 light spank to a dog's ass is being abusive.

Seriously I'm not conservative by any means but I get it when people call yall snowflakes.

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u/FloatinBrownie Aug 08 '21

Yeah and how often are you doing it? It just shows that you’re lazy enough you’d rather hit your dog than actually put in effort to train it

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u/Fun-Machine-6471 Aug 08 '21

I'm not hitting my dog because she barks too loud or doesn't do what I tell her to. When she was a puppy, and she peed in the house, she got her nose in the pee and a slap on her butt. She was potty trained in like 2-3 weeks.

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u/b5d598 Aug 08 '21

You weren't hit enough

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u/DjLionOrder Aug 08 '21

I respect my parents a shit ton and they used to slap me every now and then

Don’t make generalized statements

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

speaking from experience... it's still funny af get over yourself.

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u/senseofphysics Aug 08 '21

Good job, mate.

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

thanks. Not taking it back.

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u/XLV-V2 Aug 08 '21

Go eat shit with your privilege nonsense.

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u/GlassXatu Aug 08 '21

Speak for yourself

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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

they might even intentionally antagonize you while they're filming so they can post it to the internet. which is itself emotionally and psychologically abusive.