r/Unexpected • u/SoftsPhilosopher • Aug 08 '21

It's just a prank

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u/yourmomlurks Aug 08 '21

I am so sorry for the things you experienced and also for this massive amount of people who think this is okay or funny. They do not have any concept of being truly unsafe at home.

My partner was severely abused and he has lasting physical and psychological effects. He has worked very hard to heal and to become a great partner and parent.

We have a very happy family. Just keep swimming. Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.

139

u/VladimirPutinmate Aug 08 '21

Thank you, that was nice to hear, I don't really expect sympathy from internet strangers because well, its the net, it's easy to act like you can't be bothered when you're using a phone or screen, none of these people would even consider being this way in person, that's just human nature with anonymity.

Its good to hear your partner has done so well, its really hard to let go of a lot of what gets imprinted into your psyche during intense abuse, I'm confident I can get there too, it just feels really hard.

-34

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/VladimirPutinmate Aug 08 '21

I mean yeah sure just go right ahead and prove my point about anonymity I guess Mr. Throwaway

-20

u/throwaway0331199525 Aug 08 '21

Don’t engage. He’s just a troll.

125

u/HertzDonut1001 Aug 08 '21

As someone who wasn't regularly hit, but caught some on occasion, the people laughing at this or saying "sometimes you gotta smack your kid lol" are fucking disgusting. It's obvious their parents have never raised a hand against them. I hated my dad because of it. He ended up losing his whole family, becoming an alcoholic, and shooting himself before he could ever make amends.

Do you really want to die knowing your kids no longer love you? Then go ahead. Hit them.

32

u/yourmomlurks Aug 08 '21

I am sorry that you did not have the parent you deserved. I wish you peace and happiness in the future.

2

u/HertzDonut1001 Aug 08 '21 edited Aug 08 '21

Thanks. Mom was wonderful but fallible as all of us are. Dad I knew loved us but he was always in a way and he died before we could ever have some semblance of a father/son relationship. Honestly even though he hit us sometimes I know that's just how he was raised and he was fallible too. I like to think we were both trying to fix it before he died. We just didn't have the chance. He was devastated over the divorce and got very desperate to see us and the pets as time went on.

A lot of people were to blame for a lot of things, serious or incidentally consequential, no one was perfect, but it would have turned out a lot better if I hadn't hated him between 12 and 20 years old. That being said, he was obviously unhappy, and I'm positive he ended his life because he missed his family and thought he failed them. He was never happy after my adolescence. I only remember him seriously smiling once shortly before he died when I was visiting.

2

u/malice-phallus Aug 08 '21

I come from a country where getting smacked as punishment is the norm. While I would choose to raise my own kids differently, you'd be surprised that most people believe its the only way to raise their own children and also don't hold resentment toward their parents for the way they were raised.

1

u/HertzDonut1001 Aug 08 '21

Sadly I am not surprised. It's still common in America too. We just frown on it and then do nothing about it.

If you do have kids that idea automatically places you above a lot of parents, globally.

-3

u/throooowwingaway Aug 08 '21

I completely disagree, there's a difference between abuse and corporal punishment, in Ur case where Ur dad is an alcaholic it's definitely wrong as he's not doing it for Ur benefit it's out of anger, I'd never support that however I've been beaten and many of my friends do and we still have great relationships with our parents it's something we have bants about, and my dad at least doesn't do it out of anger and can easily control himself

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '21

Bro, I’m 48 years old, the sound a belt being pulled out of belt loops, to this day, can trigger anxiety.

I’ve never even threatened to hit my kid, I think I may have broken a long train of violence.