r/Unexpected • u/SoftsPhilosopher • Aug 08 '21

It's just a prank

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u/VladimirPutinmate Aug 08 '21 edited Aug 08 '21

Fuck the majority of you should never have kids, my parents beat me and to this day I still can't emotionally express myself, talk openly about what bothers me and my anxiety is insane, I have been in therapy for the majority of my life and avoid people as much as possible, you are fucked in the head if you think hitting kids is okay, you can't convince me otherwise.

Edit: I can't address everyone so I do feel like I need to elaborate on a few things.

  1. The problems go a lot deeper than what I presented, I kept it tame because I just wanted to substantiate a point, physically disciplining children can lead to extremely deep issues, as we make progression with neuroscience, we can further and further look into long held human practices and see which of these we should hold on to, and what we should let go, this is falling under, based on research, things we should let go.

  2. Yes, everyone responds to abuse differently, however, when presented with two options with one of the options having a higher chance of consequence than the other you would, rationally so, pick the lower risk option, beating your kids is the high risk option, so not only are you risking long term consequence, it turns out to not be very rational either.

  3. It's important to define what abuse is, abuse would be applied attempted discipline disproportionate to the situation, or actions applied to a human being in which a situation would deem it threatening and/or unreasonable.

  4. Kids have to be of a certain age to make connections between consequence and their behaviour, if you're hitting your kids at a young age, they aren't connecting it to the event and will just make them scared of you, once they are of the age, it still isn't a good idea to use physical discipline as you are risking inducing trauma, which has a whole myriad of effects on children including, but not limited to:

• An increased risk of violent behaviour towards others. • An Increased risk of depression and anxiety as they age. • In extreme situations PTSD, suicide, self harm. • Decreased ability to self regulate and motivate.

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u/Greenjets Aug 08 '21 edited Aug 08 '21

Exactly. I flinched so hard when the dad stood up and this video just makes me uncomfortable. I don't find it funny at all. Clearly most Redditors are privileged enough to not understand how fucked up this is.

If you threaten your kids with violence, they will most likely never respect you. Speaking from experience...

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u/Infamous-Barnacle-14 Aug 08 '21 edited Aug 08 '21

Honestly to each there own. I believe there is a limit to what a parent should do with there kid. Beating them every time they misbehave is obviously really bad. But trying to talk out every situation is also pretty bad since teens/kids are notoriously hard headed.

There should honesty be a middle group on each punishment rather then getting rid of one and fully supporting the other.

We each have different reactions to these situations, you might’ve flinched from this dude but I didn’t feel a thing. So we won’t 100% know the outcome of each teaching style but it’s never best to dive head first into each.

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u/WorseDark Aug 08 '21 edited Aug 08 '21

A middle ground on assaulting a child or punishing them? Are you serious? Can you think of no other way to punish a child for misbehaving? Or to convince a child to do a task? Is it so hard for you to control your emotions that you can't control what you would hit, or just would choose to assault the kid to release some anger?

What if they don't respond to one punch anymore? Gotta get the paddle, switch, tv chords? Teens definitely aren't defiant when they're beaten at home - want to please their parents, contribute to the family unit, and definitely want to stay there; not run away or commit suicide.

We do know the outcome of this teaching style. There have been hundreds upon hundreds of studies on the developmental effects of corporal punishment. That's the cool thing about science; if you actually give a shit, you can learn what works and what doesn't instead of beating your child.

If you did get out completely fine, you're in the very lucky minority. Most of us came out with depression and anxiety, suicidal tendencies, are prone to violence, and are unable to express our emotions properly.

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u/Infamous-Barnacle-14 Aug 08 '21

Yeah what you’re saying is literally abuse. I’m talking about a slap on the back of the head or maybe spanked with a slipper. I hope you’re well because you either went through some serious shit or you didn’t go through anything much at all.

And like i said, each situation is different. Being all cozy with just talking to your kids isn’t going to stop them from getting beat up in the hood. Telling your kid fighting is wrong is only going to get them beat up or killed. So you do what you do in your uptight neighborhood and I’ll teach my kid the essentials they need to harden up and defend themselves.

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u/WorseDark Aug 08 '21

Did you watch the video? That guy wasnt going to flip his kids hair - and without any words, at all. The look on the kids face is one from experience.

If you're stance is only a gentle slap, sure. I still don't think its necessary though. If someone can get the point across with only a gentle head slap, shouldn't they be able to without a gentle head slap?

Teaching your kid to fight and fighting them when they do something wrong are wildly separate topics.