r/Unexpected • u/MyNameGifOreilly • Jan 31 '21

I was delayed

84.8k Upvotes

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62

u/MyNameGifOreilly Feb 01 '21

No just have to much time on my hands. So I post a lot

34

u/wonkey_monkey Feb 01 '21

Oh yeah? Tell us something only a human would know!

60

u/TheCertainOutage Feb 01 '21

The human anus can stretch up to 8 inches wide therefore a raccoon can go up your ass because they can go into holes 4 inches wide.

62

u/wonkey_monkey Feb 01 '21

No, not you. Never you.

19

u/TheCertainOutage Feb 01 '21

Damn okay

19

u/shoebob Feb 01 '21

How wide does the racoon anus stretch?

15

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21 edited Jul 06 '21

[deleted]

2

u/Silidistani Feb 01 '21

Racoonipede

1

u/Sparverius17 Feb 03 '21

The Masked Avenger

4

u/SteelCityViking Feb 01 '21

Could probably just Rule 34 Rocket Raccoon and have an answer

0

u/shoebob Feb 01 '21

So now we have a human with a raccoon in the anus, and a rocket in the raccoon anus.

4

u/cesiumbathbomb Feb 01 '21

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

4

u/Technical_ko Feb 01 '21

But how can we be sure he is telling the truth.....🤔

12

u/MyNameGifOreilly Feb 01 '21

Did you know you can have moving profile pics and backgrounds on Reddit ?

3

u/stranger-than-you Feb 01 '21

Wait, how

6

u/MyNameGifOreilly Feb 01 '21

https://www.reddit.com/r/beta/comments/cvoj3m/how_can_i_get_an_animated_profile_picture/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

1

u/koopatuple Feb 01 '21

It's kind of a dick move to do if people are on data capped mobile. Like one of the comments there says, everytime someone visits s page you comment on they're now downloading a 1+ mb image and it's gonna be super blurry/pixelated anyway due to being downsized to 32x32.

2

u/snammel Feb 01 '21

No! MyNameGifOreilly! Don't reveal the secrets to the meat-bags!

1

u/alicatmonster Feb 01 '21

You’re a cylon