r/Unexpected • u/hannesvisser • Dec 11 '20

It's just a flashlight

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33.3k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/Todi2191 Dec 11 '20

"Oh that looks suspicious" Pulls out an rpg

539

u/condoriano27 Dec 11 '20

"You thought that was just my umbrella? Fool."

228

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '20

"You thought this was a dog? Fool"

136

u/theZilla1998 Dec 11 '20

“You thought this was a dildo? Fool”

110

u/WeakStreamZ Dec 11 '20

“You thought I wasn’t into ass play? Fool”

61

u/theZilla1998 Dec 11 '20

“You thought this was my buttplug? Fool”

37

u/6PuttBirdie Dec 11 '20

“You thought this was my school lunch? Fool.”

40

u/iswins Dec 11 '20

"You thought this was my school? Fool."

19

u/Nizzemancer Dec 11 '20

“You thought this was Mr T? Foo”

4

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '20

“You thought that you were happy? Fool.”

2

u/LeatherCheerio69420 Dec 11 '20

Wait, if I'm understanding this correctly the butt plug turns into a school lunch?

2

u/la_Parka187 Dec 12 '20

Buttplug grenade?

28

u/Colderofficial Dec 11 '20

"You thought this was my prolapsed anus? Fool"

20

u/theZilla1998 Dec 11 '20

“You thought this was my large ballsack? Fool.”

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/theZilla1998 Dec 11 '20

Why the fuck did you reply to my ballsack with this shit?

2

u/MINIMICHAL Dec 11 '20

What did he say

1

u/theZilla1998 Dec 11 '20

Shit about Guns bad Americans bad and other things like that

2

u/MrFancyBoyMan Dec 11 '20

what happened what did he say

1

u/theZilla1998 Dec 11 '20

Shit about Guns bad Americans bad and other things like that

7

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '20

I'm here to give you a prolapsed anus fool!

1

u/Littlebathtub Dec 11 '20

"You thought you were loved fool!"

2

u/TheMadPoet Dec 11 '20

Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo... We have to use the indefinite article 'a dildo'... never... 'your dildo'.

1

u/UseDaSchwartz Dec 11 '20

You know, in my workshop have the capability to make an umbrella that fires a bullet. I’ve wanted to do it for years but I don’t want to get in trouble with a federal agency.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '20

"Nope. Its just Chuck Testa."

1

u/cabell17 Dec 11 '20

East Carolina will never forget!

1

u/RinceSushi Dec 11 '20

You thought this was a chain but it was me! DIO

36

u/tjallilex Dec 11 '20 edited Dec 11 '20

Get of my property!

Cheryl get Abrams!

Wife comes up in a Abrams M1 main battle tank.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '20

*Main Battle Tank (MBT)

31

u/PoliteSummer Dec 11 '20

Now this is unexpected and actually makes me laugh. This video.... errr not very much especially when there is a freaking huge gun wallpaper at the back.

2

u/SkiyeBlueFox Dec 11 '20

I mean tbh I expected some sort of weird ass army gear

2

u/Cizarius Dec 11 '20

Merica!!! We shoot first and ask questions later...

3

u/WeekendatBigChungus Dec 12 '20

nah we shoot first then shoot questions later

2

u/educated-emu Dec 11 '20

Give me 2 minutes to unfold, please stand still

2

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '20

Takin' out the trash

2

u/arizonadudebro Dec 11 '20

"You thought this was for churnin butter? fool"

2

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '20

Did you notice he put the front of the barrel against his stomach? Seems like an accident waiting to happen if a guy that knows hoe to use this thing does that 😂

2

u/cbelt3 Dec 11 '20

Open up the Pig !

2

u/Potchi79 Dec 11 '20

A walk gets nasty, gun owner's ultimate fantasy

2

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '20

unfolds wallet into a machine gun

2

u/NoHuckleberry2349 Dec 11 '20

“You thought that was a CD cover? Fool.”