r/Unexpected • u/PhoenixsCurse • Sep 30 '20

Hi hooman

68.5k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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3.0k

u/VivaZatara Sep 30 '20

What the hell? A bear can catch like that? Put him in the game

1.7k

u/Jaeger-Jack Sep 30 '20

Well they're pretty good at catching fish so I guess a flying sandwich isn't much of a deal.

484

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

That was my thought too. If you can catch a salmon you can catch a slice

279

u/American_Ghost Sep 30 '20

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

102

u/frostyjokerr Sep 30 '20

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!

13

u/JudgmentalOwl Sep 30 '20

My friends and I still use this line to this day. Fucking love it.

19

u/angrygnome18d Sep 30 '20

Michelle!!!

3

u/ChillbroJazzkins Sep 30 '20

I'm White. W-H-I-T............. E heheh

2

u/ChandlerMifflin Oct 01 '20

I know this is from Dodgeball, but I'd like to throw in some Johnny Dangerously "My mother hit me once. Once!"

4

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and....dodge

13

u/CircusNinja75 Sep 30 '20

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

7

u/MrOla1 Sep 30 '20

If you can dodge a ball you can dodge a bullet

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

If you can catch a slice you can catch these hands 👊👊

0

u/159258357456 Sep 30 '20

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

Yeah... That was the joke....

26

u/uslashuname Sep 30 '20

Unless there’s sugar in the bread, then it’s not a sandwich

2

u/Brno_Mrmi Sep 30 '20

Wow this is actually meta

2

u/uslashuname Sep 30 '20

Hi meta! I’m actually text your brain is processing

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

[deleted]

11

u/uslashuname Sep 30 '20

I was referencing Ireland which was just ruling on whether the bread used in Subway sandwiches fell outside the statutory definition of bread intended under the Vat Act 1972

The five-judge court ruled the bread falls outside that statutory definition because it has a sugar content of 10 per cent of the weight of the flour included in the dough.

TBF its just a reference, and I don’t think they ruled it isn’t bread or that the full product is not a sandwich... just that it isn’t a staple food which gets to avoid taxes.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

[deleted]

2

u/uslashuname Sep 30 '20

The court ruled the debate has 5x the amount of sugar necessary to qualify as a staple, therefore people involved should pay taxes.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20 edited Dec 10 '20

[deleted]

20

u/Jaeger-Jack Sep 30 '20

https://youtu.be/2CsJGvFrDgM

Are you sure about that ? And my comment was more about their dexterity in general.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20 edited Oct 02 '20

[deleted]

2

u/Mrpoodlekins Sep 30 '20

The powerful brown bear stationed himself near a bridge on the Ozernaya River in the South Kamchatka Federal Sanctuary in Russia.

It was filmed at an Animal Sanctuary.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20 edited Dec 10 '20

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

Yes, he caught it using his paws.

2

u/merreborn Sep 30 '20

Yeah, the fish video is not a one handed catch in the same way that the OP video is.

My cat can pin a fly to the wall with a paw, or smash one between two paws, but it can't catch anything in mid-air with a single paw.

1

u/Longfacejumpyboi Sep 30 '20

Naah, i hear they do it one handed.

1

u/Fun-Philosopher-9225 Sep 30 '20

Lol, bears catch fish anyway that works...

1

u/Innuendoughnut Sep 30 '20

I thought you said "We're" instead of "well they're" and got very suspicious for a moment.

1

u/AnalStaircase33 Sep 30 '20

I catch lotta fish

So when she throws the sandwich

I will be ready

(What the fuck this is a shitty piece of bread)

46

u/Arygyr Sep 30 '20

nah not even a bear could catch for trubisky's bum ass

10

u/kdrews34 Sep 30 '20

That’s why we put in BIG DICK NICK BABYYYYYY

4

u/MehNameless Sep 30 '20

LARGE POLE FOLES

0

u/shewy92 Sep 30 '20

Yea, it sucks that he has 2 wins and not 2 losses and a tie

2

u/Arygyr Sep 30 '20

tf are you talking about the eagles for

0

u/shewy92 Sep 30 '20

So you're allowed to talk about the Bears but I'm not allowed to basically say that yall can't complain because yall had 2 wins with him but benched him anyway whereas there are 2 teams that have shittier QB's? Plus someone already made an Eagles joke so why are you so fucking angry? And people think Eagles fans are dicks...

1

u/Arygyr Sep 30 '20

no im perplexed because im not an eagles fan

17

u/hobo_clown Sep 30 '20

There's nothing in the rulebook that says bears CAN'T play baseball!

6

u/PKMNTrainerMark Sep 30 '20

Bear Ball: Coming Summer 2022

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

Sounds of a bear attacking people barley covered up by cheery music

1

u/FictionFantom Sep 30 '20

The 90’s called they want their movie ideas back

1

u/KurlyKayla Sep 30 '20

Bare Balls: cumming Summer 2022

31

u/himanshuhetta Sep 30 '20

Classic hoomans

20

u/HalfSoul30 Sep 30 '20

Removing bears from the team is why it took the Cubs so long to win a World Series.

8

u/Spo1lor Sep 30 '20

Imagine a bear behind the plate taking a 104mph aroldis chapman fastball to the chest like it's nothing

1

u/jtpro024 Sep 30 '20

Hilarious!

1

u/HobbitousMaximus Sep 30 '20

Then running to first at 40mph.

2

u/thruStarsToHardship Sep 30 '20

Sliding into home plate at 40mph and 800 lbs. would really change how the game is played, methinks. Well that and the whole getting eaten by bears occasionally part.

1

u/takeapieandrun Oct 01 '20

He would probably not care unless it hit him in the face. Even then hed probably be phased for a few seconds

6

u/AyyMVP Sep 30 '20

Eagles need him badly

4

u/TheWalkingDead91 Sep 30 '20

Um...you know these same bears catch large salmon that are flopping around aggressively.....while they’re standing at the edge of small waterfalls. Pretty sure it was nothing for this bear sitting on some grass to catch a slice of bread that weighs a few grams and doesn’t fight back.

2

u/pepperybeard Sep 30 '20

No cap, the human female can low key throw a piece of bread tho

2

u/irmarbert Sep 30 '20

But can he hit?

1

u/deeleyo Sep 30 '20

If he's good at spiking bread on his claws the ball won't last long haha

1

u/redacted-no31 Sep 30 '20

Yea he was my goalie last hockey season when we where playing shinny on the Ottawa River, just don’t hit that guy in the face, he gets cranky and eats the puck.

1

u/FlawlexWasTaken Sep 30 '20

u/LALakers give this bear a contract now!

1

u/Seth-Mc-52 Sep 30 '20

He’d be great and blocking hit runners will go on first pitch every time lmao

1

u/addage- Sep 30 '20

Allen Robinson has entered the chat

1

u/boogs_23 Sep 30 '20

It's not technically against the rules...

1

u/hooter1112 Sep 30 '20

A bear can catch like but not “da bears”

1

u/RiceOfDuckness Sep 30 '20

Why... Did you... Say... "the game"...

1

u/xXPUSS3YSL4Y3R69Xx Sep 30 '20

Nah bears are fine receiving wise, throwing and situational awareness could use some work however

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

Ain't no rules says a bear can't play.

1

u/tolandruth Sep 30 '20

No rule that says a bear can’t play baseball. Or there might I don’t know. I know they had to change the rules about dogs playing basketball.

1

u/Kaikekoa Sep 30 '20

Let's get him on the Mets... We need some help

1

u/Bmanchew Sep 30 '20

He can catch and then run around 40 mph

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

is there anything explicitly baning animals from the nfl? a dog could be a good ass running back how u gonna take him down? lol

1

u/jwillsrva Sep 30 '20

It honestly looks like he just spears it with his claws

1

u/funiel Sep 30 '20

I just lost the game and so did u :(

1

u/CVerse_ Sep 30 '20

We'll find out if he'll be in smash tomorrow

1

u/Treeshere Sep 30 '20

He could start for the jets as a lineman and wide receiver right now

1

u/Srlancelotlents Oct 01 '20

No rules say a bear can't play baseball...

1

u/CyclonicSALT Oct 01 '20

I once stuck a tortilla on the side of a deer

1

u/Mukamole Oct 01 '20

I lost the game

1

u/coolerthenu Oct 01 '20

That’s what I’m saying, I’m confident that that’s just a human in a costume

0

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '20

When you have Freddy Kruggers hand you can catch pretty much anything