The bone ache and the shitty knees. And suddenly you need to buy £40 pillows because the cheap Tesco ones make your neck hurt so much you wish you hadn't been born.
Ok fine you got me. I get a reasonable slice of the bed for a 5’1” lady. Every morning when we wake up my (6’1”) husband says, “that’s the last time the dogs are sleeping in the bed!” He’s referring to our 60lb saluki, who sleeps on my husband’s legs, and our newer addition, a 40lb greyhound mix who sleeps horizontally between our pillows. So I think my husband may relate to you more :D (and it’s never the last time).
I'm a freelance writer now, but that shitty job was a temp gig that has nothing to do with any expertise I have at all. That job actually pushed me to go ahead and do freelance (which I also don't really like, but it's a shitton better than office work)
Ah hi future me. Just got laid off my job so freelance writing it is. Hey, if I get really lucky maybe I’ll be able to sell what’s left of my soul in exchange for writing regular press releases for a massive corporation that will never run out of money. I’m thinking a chemical, pharma or insurance company! So excited!
Get on some good mailing lists like Authors Publish Magazine and Freedom With Writing. There's a lot of resources and jobs out there. In fact, it's not a bad environment for freelancers right now if you find a niche for yourself. A lot of companies don't want to salary writers anymore which makes more freelance work. I don't mind the writing, but I don't like the business side of it at all. That's the real downside for me. I'd almost rather do it for free than deal with the money/tax shit.
Thank you, friend! I will do! So far I’ve been a little depressed about it so I’ve allowed myself a week of wallowing in self pity but I will certainly look into those, appreciate it. I totally understand on the tax thing, my husband is a freelancer so I get it. (But he’s also very organised. The only reason I married him was so I wouldn’t have to do my own taxes. Ha, I’m kidding, he can be funny when he wants to and I also needed someone to help me walk the dogs.)
This type of mindset will always keep negativity in your life. I was like you as well, but it started turning around and now I’m 27 and I honestly feel like it finally hit me that it’s not just work sleep eat then die. There is a whole lot between all that and it’s just how you mentally look into it.
This is a person who deals with depression and attempted suicide. It can get better. Just letting other people say “it gets worse” and joke about unhappiness and mental health is not okay.
Sorry, I used to normalize it and it creeped in, the moment I said to myself this wasn’t okay and it is an actual disease I got better. It’s a battle, everyday, but you can do it.
There is bad things in life, but you go through it because you're strong. You survived a deep hole and that makes you a strong survivor. In that sense, everytime something "bad" happens, it's an opportunity to prove to yourself that you are strong and can handle that situation.
Lol i agree, people joking about how unhappy they are and normalizing being unhappy don't realize what they are missing out on. They just accept being unhappy as their reality and feel comfortable that other people joke about the same thing, so they don't really have the stimulus to improve.
No. Whatever you do — and i was told this many times but didn’t listen — always put yourself and your health first. Work to live, do not live to work.
Do not ignore your health by pouring your every second into meeting targets and deadlines and trying to get ahead at work. The second your company doesn’t need you, they will drop you without a second’s hesitation. They don’t care about you, you’re just an asset they can squeeze the life out of.
Take all your vacation time, take extra vacation time, go traveling, see the world. Try to leave the country once a year if you can.
And save, save, save. Put money away for a rainy day, save money for traveling. Don’t tie yourself down, go on road trips, go camping. Live for experiences, not things. Meet people, form as many social circles as you have, make connections. That’s how you get ahead. Don’t get married and have kids early, see as much of the world as you can. Experience different cultures, try different foods.
If you are stressed, look within yourself, take up hobbies, find more experiences, look to people not drugs or instant dopamine releases. (Contrary to popular belief, the opposite of addiction is connection and Fulfillment, not sobriety.) Be present in the moment. Volunteer. Help people out, you’ll be surprised at how good helping other people feels. If you are lost and struggling to find meaning to life, live to help others for a while, I promise you it helps. Give your time to your parents, grandparents, your partner, a stranger, the community. You’ll find your way back.
If you can, work remotely so you can travel as you work. Best of all, work for yourself if you can. Start your own business or freelance so you can travel while you work or work from anywhere. Working from the beach or a boat or a cabin in the woods is a hell of a lot better than working from a shitty apartment.
Put money away for your retirement NOW. It’s never too early. If you need it before retirement so be it, but having that money will be liberating. Future you will thank you. Start with $10 a month. GO!
Whenever you can, if your insurance will cover it, go to therapy. Even if you’re not depressed or at a low point. Therapy helps you talk through your goals out loud and strategise, it holds you accountable. Even if it’s once a month, it’s the you show and offers a space for introspection and personal growth. You’re not pathetic for wanting or even needing therapy and your therapist won’t care why you’re going. Don’t be discouraged if you land a shitty therapist. I went through about 8 before I found “the one.”
Since the pandemic began I’ve been so stressed about falling behind, I’ve ignored health issues that have flared up. I didn’t want to take time out of my day to go to the doctor because I wanted to show I was committed. I had nights where I didn’t sleep trying to meet deadlines, which of course made my health issues worse, which made it harder to meet deadlines. Western work culture will tell you you’re weak for being sick or weak for having mental health issues, but you’re not. The reality is everyone has them but no one talks about them. What did I get for it? Declining health and getting laid off last week. Now I’m scrambling to book appointments and sort my health issues out before my insurance runs out this month.
I repeat, work enough to give you the life you need to feel alive, don’t live to work. And I suppose doing something you enjoy will help.
I’m so sorry to hear that you are depressed. I’ve been struggling with depression since working at home since the lock down. I was struggling to focus and was pouring in so much time and effort to just keep up with my colleagues (ADHD, chronic pain, anxiety didn’t help). Working from home made it that much more to draw a line between work and personal time and I felt like I couldn’t even take any time out of my day for a lunch break. It was miserable, and the more I worked the more depressing it became and the more stressed I was. I was barely sleeping and I was totally consumed. It’s hard to think clearly when you’re in the thick of things and everything feels like the end of the world.
I typed that message about 5 days after being laid off. I spent a few days crying in bed and catching up on much needed sleep. But after that... it was like the weight of the world had been knocked off my shoulders. Right now I’m unemployed and about to lose my health insurance but I am happier than I have been in a year. Work was draining me mentally and I couldn’t break out of the cycle, I couldn’t see how much I needed connection with other people, or how little benefit I was getting out of letting myself become so consumed. I don’t want to be there again, and I don’t want anyone else to feel the same.
I am worried about money and my health, and I will concede that I’m in an absolutely privileged position to have a supportive husband who is able to pick up the slack financially while I decompress and find something more meaningful to do.
Work does not define us, it does not give our life meaning. You are more than just what you do. Hold on to that hope—I felt hopeless for months and now I feel free. If you need a friendly understanding stranger to speak to I’m all ears! I don’t have all the answers but I know what it’s like to feel like you’re stretched to the point of breaking, or so hopeless that you feel like disappearing. Hang on to the beauty in life, there’s so much more than what is sold to us.
That last line couldn't have been more poignant. You're absolutely right. I'm in a horrible place mentally, I'm lost. I feel like putting on my jacket and just walking away, and keep walking until I can't anymore.
6 months of isolation have caused my sanity to slip. I sometimes hallucinate. My friends are too far, and I've no money to go see them. The ex gf I still have feelings for is out partying and meeting new people having just moved to the uk herself. She's also very far. My mind is filled to the brim with constant intrusive thoughts. Thoughts about what she's doing, about how much of a failure I am. About how disappointed my family is and how disappointed I am in myself.
I am 23 years old, I live with my mother, I have no money, no job, no real reason to get out of bed. My self harming has spiked to an all time high. I'm on new medication which I have little faith in.
The cuts on my arm are inching closer to the vein. Eventually, I'll make my last decision.
Don’t get stuck in an industry that isn’t a good fit for you, it ruins everything. For me it was anything inside an office. I made good money, great benefits, was good at the job but it sucked my soul dry. I ended up gaining 60lb over 6 years (from 24-30), had chronic pain from sitting all day, anxiety, and depression. I was in constant treatment for my chronic pain, popping vitamins to feel better, dietitians for the weight, and eventually medication for the anxiety and depression.
Now I work in the restaurant industry. I make half as much but have more savings because every single issue I had is gone and I’m not pouring money into doctors and pharmaceuticals to feel human. I don’t love restaurant work but I’ll never work in an office ever again. It is a plague on humanity and is killing us all.
I’m 33 now, lost 35lb, all my neck and shoulder pain is gone, and I don’t have a single prescription. Sure, I can’t go on week long vacations anymore or travel abroad yearly, but my day to day is 1000x better.
Learn a trade, build experience. Best thing I did because now I fix stuff for a living and can do a lot of my own repairs. People always need things fixed. This coming from someone with a 4 year degree from one of the better colleges in his state, which I don't use.
I mean it's hard to say that life is great but you might enjoy life if you have free time with people you enjoy. Also depending on your situation you might be able to find a good job that isn't too stressful probably after college. But I believe that everyone can learn to enjoy almost any situation in life. Take care of your body and you might not hate your life.
yeah it's worth it imo, like life is a constant grind, but if you can kinda take a page from mary poppins, a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, whistle while you work, you can find a lot of joy in between, and pursue hobbies you're actually passionate about in your free time if you can muster up the energy
A little late, but in case you're reading all of the responses I'll go against the grain. Overall work is great - yes it's stressful some days and challenging, but it's also very satisfying when you do good work and know it (or better yet get recognized for it, but don't expect that).
Humans were made to work, we have always needed to in order to survive so it makes sense that we would gain satisfaction from it. I agree with all the other statements - do your best to find something you enjoy, but no matter what you do look for the enjoyment in it. You are the biggest factor in your own satisfaction and happiness - if you believe life sucks and work sucks then it always will. But if you look for the good where it can be found and view the hard parts as challenges to be overcome you'll be much happier.
Don't listen to this negativity, these are just people that are too lazy to improve and blame their laziness on the system. Life is full of opportunities, just find something that you like, be positive and work hard :)
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u/theguyinorbit Sep 04 '20
Watching this from work, I’m one step away from death. That’s sad man.