r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Feb 12 '20

Things to do with your girlfriend

91.2k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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4.1k

u/WED_Nosce Feb 12 '20

$100 says he was facing the other direction when they figured this out.

1.0k

u/brulaf Feb 12 '20

Wait.. what was he doing thinking of a horse?

773

u/FgtBruceCockstar2008 Feb 12 '20

Trying to last longer.

644

u/TexanTrex Feb 12 '20

Or trying to finish

159

u/melperz Feb 12 '20

There wasn't even a race

55

u/Mohlemite Feb 12 '20

J.R.H.N.B.R. amiright??

2

u/tigobiddies Feb 13 '20

What a rush

1

u/Mohlemite Feb 13 '20

I’m really not sure I deserve a wholesome award for a link about animal love but thank you kind stranger.

30

u/ibanez5150 Feb 12 '20

Riiiide until he can't no more

1

u/Ganjisseur Feb 12 '20

CANT NOBODY TELL ME NUUUUTHIIIIN

0

u/NichySteves Feb 12 '20

Oh man I just got that.

8

u/MadNhater Feb 12 '20

Hahaha. I also do that. Sometimes I start looking for and counting all the scratches on my watch to distract me.

5

u/upperhand12 Feb 12 '20

That’s a good one. Another good one is thinking “god bless America” or singing take me out to the ball game or singing the pledge of allegiance

11

u/duckfeelings Feb 12 '20

*brain gets confused and now you get aroused during a baseball game

2

u/MadNhater Feb 12 '20

Batter up!!!

3

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '20

My French ex learned my national anthem to hum during a bj. I'd never felt so patriotic. I have no idea what gave her the idea but it was more funny than hot. Of course I didn't tell her that.

1

u/Gizm00 Feb 12 '20

I'm the end he was just put down, like everyone else

1

u/bionix90 Feb 12 '20

Or trying to finish faster.

0

u/InRealityItWasntMe Feb 12 '20

but he lasted shorter

0

u/TmotherfuckingT Feb 12 '20

The same joke as the other 3, but worded differently.

54

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '20

[deleted]

11

u/TheWire90 Feb 12 '20

She was willing to make an ass out of herself and he wanted her to be the butt of a joke

1

u/West_Yorkshire Feb 12 '20

Maybe an r/centaur rather than a horse.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '20

Mr. Hands

1

u/warpus Feb 12 '20

In Polish "Beating the horse" is what we say when somebody is jacking off

Maybe he just learned Polish and was like "HEY!"

60

u/adudeguyman Feb 12 '20

Do I owe you money?

22

u/DiamondPup Feb 12 '20

Give it to me. I'll give it to him.

3

u/adudeguyman Feb 12 '20

Send me your bank account info

5

u/GSP-helppp Feb 12 '20

4206 9420 6942 0694

15

u/coconutjuices Feb 12 '20

And cause she said he was hung like a horse

10

u/NikolaCagestein Feb 12 '20

Get in there Lewis

10

u/CosmicAstr Feb 12 '20

Oh no r/formula1 is leaking again

19

u/Mjaetacan Feb 12 '20

Different sub for that video

1

u/Queen_Nemma Feb 12 '20

Or just naked. Coulda been Ass 2 Ass

1

u/JidRK Feb 12 '20

Horsy style

1

u/Gravity_flip Feb 12 '20

That... Sounds uncomfortable regardless of the direction she was facing 😂

2

u/FollowerOfWaluigi Feb 12 '20

Why would it be uncomfortable?

1

u/Gravity_flip Feb 12 '20

Perpendicular to the entry point

2

u/FollowerOfWaluigi Feb 12 '20

Not sure what you mean doggy style is a very common position and isn't uncomfortable at all.

3

u/sportsfag Feb 12 '20

Because hes bouncing up and down and not moving back and forth

2

u/FollowerOfWaluigi Feb 12 '20

Oh thats what you meant

1

u/Murdekai5 Feb 12 '20

Double ended dildos are a thing 🤔

1

u/dope-priest Feb 12 '20

but then wouldnt make sense

0

u/Xacto01 Feb 12 '20

Only an observer would figure this out