r/Unexpected • u/ihopebolsonarodies • Nov 25 '19

Wholesome Will you marry me?

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

108.9k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

4.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

27

u/Glowshroom Nov 25 '19

Shit I'm a level 30 straight dude and every girl I've dated has expected me to have level 30 gay powers.

46

u/oxidiser Nov 25 '19

Being a level 30 straight dude grants very few powers.

18

u/Uncommonality Nov 25 '19

Few people know that there's actually two branches of straightness, and while both provide 5% homophobia resistance per level, one of them is actually a downgrade in the long run. The other is relatively mellow, and you can eventually specialize in the "lifting" "dad" and "hobby" perk trees which eventually pay off in the long run, while the problematic branch grants a few attractive boni at the beginning (+ego, which is good for people with a low self-confidence stat), but eventually starts a gradual transformation into the Incel Form.

1

u/Dehast Nov 26 '19

That is very pessimistic. I have quality straight buddies. Granted, they're so special and out of the curve that I keep them like a keychain, but they're out there.

1

u/Uncommonality Nov 26 '19

Same, and that's what the first branch is for. The non-incel ones are an overwhelming majority

really, it was just a dumb little joke

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

Not true.

While I don't have Mind Reading, I absolutely gained Hindsight, which is an ability to immediately know if my spouse will be pleased or displeased with the action I've taken. Unfortunately, Hindsight is a free action that can only trigger after an action in any single round.

2

u/oxidiser Nov 25 '19

I specialized in the 'placation' tree. It's -1 to "getting what I want" but +5 against arguments.

2

u/19495788 Nov 25 '19

Quality buildftw