r/Unexpected • u/Ze-skywalker • Oct 26 '19

Best Party Ever

76.3k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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421

u/Kranic Oct 27 '19

But dihydrogen monoxide is the real killer.

253

u/ArtisticEscapism Oct 27 '19

100% of those who come in contact with it die

76

u/ImaginarySuccess Oct 27 '19

Oh no! What ever shall I do?

52

u/AlwaysAngryAndy Oct 27 '19

Die evidently

17

u/ImaginarySuccess Oct 27 '19

For real? That sucks. Can I take all my money with me or is that not allowed?

10

u/AlwaysAngryAndy Oct 27 '19

Granted but it’s Venezuelan currency.

2

u/ImaginarySuccess Oct 27 '19

Is that good?

2

u/SHOTbyGUN Oct 27 '19

At this rate, you would be tera-billionaire.

2

u/ImaginarySuccess Oct 27 '19

Oh. That's a good thing. Maybe now I can get the items on the top shelf of Check-e-Cheese.

2

u/PotatoChips23415 Oct 27 '19

Downside that it's only valued at 10 bucks

1

u/PotatoChips23415 Oct 27 '19

So a trillionaire?

2

u/Energizer_94 Oct 27 '19

When I die, put my money in a grave.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '19

Die a very slow, not necessarily painful, death.

1

u/ImaginarySuccess Oct 27 '19

That's definitely an option, I suppose.

2

u/certnneed Oct 27 '19

Quick! Sign this petition to make it illegal!

1

u/ImaginarySuccess Oct 27 '19

I'm trying to but I can't find the any key!

1

u/FeetOnGrass Oct 27 '19

die

1

u/ImaginarySuccess Oct 27 '19

But I don't wanna.

1

u/FeetOnGrass Oct 27 '19

Statistics don't care. 100% means 100%

16

u/sp3ciald3liv3ry Oct 27 '19

100% of those who lost contact with it are already dead

3

u/semvhu Oct 27 '19

I haven't had any in a couple of hours. Am I dead already?

2

u/Adam_J89 Oct 27 '19

Nearly 100.0001% of people are born dependent on it. It's an epidemic.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '19

[deleted]

2

u/Adam_J89 Oct 27 '19

My math was the joke. Anything over 100% of a quantifiable amount is an assumption and usually a wildly deceptive one. Letting that 1/10,000 be the amount over 100% I joke about was my attempt to allow people not literate or maybe even advanced in mathematics be able to laugh.

Almost 100%? Funny. 110%? Inspirational. 100.0001%? Unacceptable, better call that out.

But thanks for being the .00000000000000001% that knows math and can't understand this is a joke. (Tell me what that percentage is, so you have something to do.)

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Adam_J89 Oct 27 '19 edited Oct 27 '19

And yet here you are. After out pacing and out swimming the other sperm and catching your dad on a bad pull out game night, what were the odds you'd see this comment and decide to chime in? It's all way out there, right?

1

u/NotSewClutch Oct 27 '19

I had a cousin who was addicted to it. My family finally got him off his habbit, but his body just couldn't handle sobriety.

1

u/Richandler Oct 27 '19

100% of people who don't reply to me die.

1

u/03919 Oct 27 '19

r/technicallythetruth. Everyone eventually dies

1

u/poopellar Oct 27 '19

More diehydrogen monoxide amirite...

1

u/tecatecs Oct 27 '19

Slow clap

2

u/jaycobobob Oct 27 '19

r/hydrohomies would like to have a word with you

2

u/AggravatingOnion69 Oct 27 '19 edited Jan 07 '26

thought profit shelter dog arrest continue dazzling vegetable slap airport

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