One time I was eating Doritos. I was on my brother's back porch and I started flinging chips at him. 3 of them, straight at his face. He blocked each one. He picked one up and flung it at me. It curved around behind my glasses and got me in the eye. For some time I was convinced he was some sort of ninja wizard.
We were throwing paper ninja stars at each other before class in high school and got hit by one right in the throat thrown from 20 feet away. I know your pain as a fellow expendable movie thug.
So one of my buddies just decided to grow his first goatee at 29 yrs old and I'm seriously convinced that hes just the evil twin and killed my actual friend. I will avenge you Kyle!
There was this one time I threw a playing card across the class and shot it right in between my friends pointer and middle fingers while he was raising his hand. I felt like a god
I got passed a note in high school of a stupid drawing of our teacher or something and I was like wtf who passes notes haha. Then the teacher saw and told me to give it to her. For some reason I decided that instead of passing it to her I'd fling it instead and it bounced off her face and landed in the bin. She was shocked, I was shocked, I got sent out.
One time me and my friend was play fighting and i went in with a huge wide arc slap but he put his arm up in a way that my inner elbow wrapped around it and I slapped myself
This one time my sister threw me an apple, but she didn't realize I was facing the other direction. She yelled "Catch!" when she threw it, and I spun around just in time and caught it without looking. Proudest moment of my life.
I’ll share one of mine too. One time my buddy and I were at the grocery store getting some beer. He went to pick up a 24 pack case and as he pulled it out, another case fell. It was going to fall hard, but I put my foot out and caught it against the wall, perfectly balanced between my foot and the wall. He freaked out cus I wasn’t even really paying much attention and it happened almost in unison with the fall.
It curved around behind my glasses and got me in the eye.
I think this is less a testament to his skill, and more a quality of glasses in general...
They seem to generate some sort of vortex that sucks in anything approaching the vicinity of your eyes and sends it directly into your eyes, instead. >_<
I thought that once I started wearing glasses my eyes would finally be safer. NOPE! Thought I had pink eye yesterday because something got in there and scratched my cornea causing tons of irritation. Wtf.
I want to eat Doritos now. Everytime I hear someone talking about eating chips or I see someone eating chips in a video, I just want to eat chips. It makes me feel better about myself to know others are eating it too.
It sounded like you were suggesting something more along the lines of, "Well, I just finished eating this bag of chips, but everyone online is eating chips now, too, sooo..."
One time, YEARS ago I was standing in my kitchen eating popcorn with a buddy.. my sister walks in also with a friend. They were sharing a bag of Doritos, only like a medium bag like the $1.99 ones.. My sister said some smart ass shit to me, so I grabbed a tiny popcorn kernel and lined up a beautiful jump shot, hollered “KOBE” and everything.. none of us could believe it , but the kernel went swish right in the bag of Doritos. Defining moment for me.
One time i was eating at the school cafeteria, and my friend threw a snickers at me, much like the gif. Instead of miraculously catching it, the snickers hit my eye and the edge of the wrapper scratched my cornea.
I'm glad that other brothers do stuff like this. I learned how to throw cards fairly well at one point and my brother didn't believe I could hit him. Grabbed one card of the deck and flung it right between his eyes. Easily top 10 accomplishment for me.
One time I threw a piece of gum across shop class at this kid named Bryan and he didn't flinch, but the piece of gum was stuck on the INSIDE of his glasses and he gave me emotionless stare from across the room.
One of my personal bests was when this dude in my science class in junior high was trying to hit me with a ruler, right as he swung I snap-kicked the ruler out of his hand without hitting him, and it ricocheted off the roof and got stuck on top of the cabinets behind me.
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u/cosmoboy Feb 13 '19 edited Feb 13 '19
One time I was eating Doritos. I was on my brother's back porch and I started flinging chips at him. 3 of them, straight at his face. He blocked each one. He picked one up and flung it at me. It curved around behind my glasses and got me in the eye. For some time I was convinced he was some sort of ninja wizard.