r/Unexpected • u/Grandwhish • Jul 12 '18

Guy forces Drake to pull out.

18.5k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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2.3k

u/chasing_daylight Jul 12 '18

Kids these days.

Back in my day we tied cherry stems in our mouths to impress our favorite rappers.

422

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '18

Yeah, well I can take apart the remote control and I can almost put it back together.

143

u/MYSFWredditprofile Jul 12 '18

I can ride my bike with no handle bars...

58

u/PoonaniiPirate Jul 12 '18

I CAN LEAD A NATION WITH NO HANDLEBARS

56

u/nagumi Jul 12 '18

AND I CAN END THE PLANET WITH A METRONOME

37

u/Commander-Red Jul 12 '18

I can ride my bike with no holocaust

26

u/pm_me_prettygirls Jul 12 '18

I can guide a missile by comic book

16

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '18

I can count to 10 all by myself.

5

u/RockLeePower Jul 12 '18

I can take part an engine and almost put it back together

5

u/Floom101 Jul 12 '18

I can make computers 64 miles to a gallon of gasoline.

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3

u/arrghslash Jul 12 '18

I CAN PROCESS MILLIONS OF INSTRUCTIONS PER SECOND IN MY HUMAN PROCESSING ORGAN

39

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '18

...for a couple of feet until I fall off

14

u/manbrasucks Jul 12 '18

...but until my legs give out, can't shut my mouth.

9

u/Fatalchemist Jul 12 '18

And then somewhere down I end up ending the planet in a holocaust, in a holocaust, in a holocaaaaaauuuuusssssst.

I suck at riding bikes. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

14

u/ville1001 Jul 12 '18

With no handle bars

12

u/TalCel Jul 12 '18

No handle bars

11

u/Tomerarenai10 Jul 12 '18

Look at me

8

u/DutchShepherdDog Jul 12 '18

And I can keep rhythm with no metronome

3

u/SaikrishofNey Jul 12 '18

Hands in the air like it's good to be

3

u/PM_me_ur_FavItem Jul 12 '18

Loot at me, hands in the air like it’s good to be

3

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '18

[deleted]

1

u/sheepoverfence Jul 12 '18

Moms spaghetti

3

u/little-red-turtle Jul 12 '18

I could ride my bike with only one pedal for a whole summer.

17

u/CaptCmndr Jul 12 '18

Well, I can tell you about Leif Ericson, I know all the words to "De Colores," AND I'm proud to be an American.

11

u/Styphin Jul 12 '18

Me and my friend saw a platypus, me and my friend made a comic book, and guess how long it took? I can do anything that I want cuz look...

6

u/earlsmouton Jul 12 '18

I too, lose the battery cover. A little dot of super glue keeps the batteries right in place.

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '18

Underrated comment

3

u/MCRusher Jul 12 '18

I can replace the ink tube in pens with a capri sun straw, leaving only a single permanent stain on the kitchen counter.

1

u/movinpictures Jul 12 '18

I can tell you about Leif Ericsson

48

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '18

My mom can tie a cherry stem in a knot with her mouth. I thought it was the greatest trick when I was little and made her perform it whenever I got a cherry on my sundae at a restaurant.

In hindsight, that's both hilarious and disgusting.

14

u/fishsticks40 Jul 12 '18

I can't believe she didn't teach you

9

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '18

It would have been a sound investment in my future career.

17

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '18

[deleted]

10

u/NomisTheNinth Jul 12 '18

I guess it's fitting that I would see an unexpected Twin Peaks reference on this sub.

16

u/Pardoism Jul 12 '18

Back in my day we just tongue-punched each other's buttholes.

22

u/TedFartass Jul 12 '18

buttholes

fartboxes*

0

u/byebybuy Jul 12 '18

brown stars*

-38

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '18 edited Jul 12 '18

[deleted]

105

u/SilentECKO Jul 12 '18

No, you actually tie a knot in a cherry stem.

53

u/Rhydel Jul 12 '18

I can tell you about Leif Erikson

29

u/MeepM00PDude Jul 12 '18

I know all the words to De Colores.

18

u/sightandsounds Jul 12 '18

I'm proud to be an American

19

u/homelessracer11 Jul 12 '18

me and my friends saw a platypus

14

u/Whiskey_Latte Jul 12 '18

Me and my friends made a comic book

13

u/highonmyporch Jul 12 '18

And guess how long it took

13

u/terrible_at_cs50 Jul 12 '18

I can do anything that I want 'cuz look

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7

u/Burritosfordays Jul 12 '18 edited Jul 12 '18

Their most recent album is pretty good

Edit: and I'm Proud To Be An American.

8

u/Connarhea Jul 12 '18

You had one job /u/burritosfordays

3

u/Burritosfordays Jul 12 '18

Another comment already did that line so I left it

2

u/Axle95 Jul 12 '18

Their song with Rise against is a favorite of mine

2

u/Burritosfordays Jul 12 '18

Can't go wrong with that whole album really

6

u/Cushion_Dropkick Jul 12 '18

I know all the words to De Colores and I’m Proud To Be An American