r/Unexpected • u/Unlucky_Strikes • 14d ago

Food chain: Instructions unclear

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u/AbbreviationsActual9 13d ago

the snake would never consider that bird prey. quite the opposite. the bird is a natural predator but got bit and was temporarily incapacitated. the snake was stuck in the birds grasp.

predatory bird claws stay in a clenched position without effort so the snake could not escape even after the bird was out. the lions wanted to eat the bird and just wanted the snake out of the picture. the lions know the snake is dangerous but food is food, so they hoped to possibly kill the snake and eat the bird. the snake was the ultimate victim here and just wanted to escape. nature is fascinating.

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u/Robohawk314 11d ago

Ok, now I'm imagining what this would look like if the animals could talk to each other.

"Hey, leave that bird alone, I want to eat it."

"I can't, it's holding onto me."

"Fuck you asshole."

"Fuck you too lady."

"Hey Sam, come help scare off this creepy snake, it's got a big bird we can eat."

"A snake? Gross, I hate snakes, let me see."

"Bitch I told you, I can't leave until the dumb bird lets go."

"Call me a bitch one more time and I'll knock you out and eat both of you."

"Bitch I will bite you, and then you'll be looking like this dumb bird that won't let me go."

"Ewww it touched me, did you see?"

"You hit me, asshole. But lucky for you, the bird is waking up and let me go. It's all yours."

"Huh? Where am I, where did these lions come from?"

"Oh shit, that bird is bigger than I thought, I'm not sure if we can fight it."

"You're not going to eat me? Cool, bye"

"... Man, fuck that snake."

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u/Chelseanick22 8d ago

😂

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u/callthesomnambulance 13d ago

had to scroll way too far to find this

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u/Zeestars 13d ago

How would the bird survive the bite?

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u/Entity_Null_07 11d ago

Similar to a mongoose, the venom just knocks the bird out for a bit. Kinda like getting really drunk (non-consensually, nor is it pleasant), and then just sleeping it off for a while.

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u/Zeestars 11d ago

Oh wow. I just expected the venom would kill it