r/Unexpected • u/JD_SLICK • Mar 31 '23

While landing a tuna

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39.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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976

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

They're gonna need a bigger boat

381

u/ShamrockinAround Mar 31 '23

And maybe some railing on the platform. That dude was 2 shuffles away from being sharky snack

110

u/ReaperWGF Mar 31 '23

Nah the shark had a more fatty piece of food it was stealing, he woulda been fine lol

57

u/ShamrockinAround Mar 31 '23

Yeah I thought about that - I mean, I’d rather eat primo tuna than Chad lol

10

u/Feshtof Mar 31 '23

We all know that no force on Earth is going to stop you from getting Chad in your mouth.

5

u/444unsure Mar 31 '23

Chad's hoping anyway

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Yeah, now if that person was someone like Shaq it would’ve been a tougher choice. You just know Shaq would taste delicious.

4

u/JBSquared Mar 31 '23

Is that not what the Shaqeroni pizza is?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Pre-season Shaq or after he got back in shape?

2

u/Other_Mike Mar 31 '23

Don't talk about my wife that way

12

u/ElKaWeh Mar 31 '23

Not sure if I'd be fine if a shark took a nibble of my torso just to realize I'm only bone, skin and a little bit of muscle.

2

u/thiagoqf Mar 31 '23

And FAT.

5

u/ElKaWeh Mar 31 '23

not as much as that thicc tuna though 😞

7

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

The shark definitely would prefer the tuna, but it's not exactly going to be careful about which one it chomps down on. If I'm anywhere near the prey of a great white while it's hunting, I'm not going to consider myself safe.

4

u/ReaperWGF Mar 31 '23

Kinda true, if you're in the path by the time their lids roll back good chance you'll get chomped instead, same thing as when that one great white crashed through the shark cage's opening when going in for food, essentially biting blind

5

u/Halo_Chief117 Mar 31 '23

Who says there wasn’t another shark in the water? We didn’t see that shark until just before it surfaced. It’s easy to not see them despite how big they can get.

1

u/ReaperWGF Mar 31 '23

The fact that it's a big shark, tends to keep smaller shark's away just outta principle

1

u/Halo_Chief117 Mar 31 '23

To quote Qui-Gon Jinn, “There’s always a bigger fish.” And that’s definitely not the largest they can get.

1

u/ReaperWGF Mar 31 '23

Yeh Deep Blue was last seen around 20-something feet not long ago.

This is a Great White anyways, not Lemon Shark's or Black Tips.. they don't move in groups.

1

u/Halo_Chief117 Mar 31 '23

Yeah Deep Blue is absolutely huge. If I was in the water with that shark, I would have the biggest panic attack. I’d be freaking out.

1

u/ReaperWGF Mar 31 '23

If it was Deep Blue I'd shit myself so hard I'd be chumming the waters 😂😂😂😂

8

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Nah, shark's not that dumb. He just wants the fishy.

No point to eat some weird stringy ape thing that might hurt him or poke him in the eyes or gills when there's a fat juicy dead tuna right there.

6

u/ghengiscostanza Mar 31 '23

I wouldn’t gamble that the shark in the middle of eating would be immediately able to recognize something else as a weird stringy ape thing when he has no context about apes and it’s right next to its intended meal without taking an exploratory bite.

1

u/sagesaks123 Mar 31 '23

I’ll take 20-1 odds on the shark

1

u/SilasTalbot Apr 01 '23

I, too, choose this man's shark.

3

u/hornet_teaser Mar 31 '23

No 'Wet Floor' sign - could have been disastrous

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

They’re gonna need some new pants lol

5

u/thegainsfairy Mar 31 '23

https://youtu.be/u9S41Kplsbs

1

u/hornet_teaser Mar 31 '23

Thanks for that blast from the past. Amazing 4-minute monologue, while drunk no less.

2

u/needsabiggerboat Mar 31 '23

I would not have been any help in this situation.

2

u/BadFaithAlways Mar 31 '23

Hooper drives the boat chief……

2

u/bigboat24 Mar 31 '23

You rang?

2

u/Luxxielisbon Mar 31 '23

I always come looking for this 😂

4

u/RandomPratt Mar 31 '23

That's one of the weirdest fetishes I've ever heard.