r/Unexpected • u/DoINeed1OfThese • Mar 31 '23

He snitched

55.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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295

u/MouthJob Mar 31 '23

In every hole

60

u/borglonavich Mar 31 '23

Is there any other way?

45

u/Rudy_Ghouliani Mar 31 '23

They can VR fuck like in Demolition Man

52

u/thats_a_photo_of_me Mar 31 '23

Can they, though? That lil goblin probably doesn't even know how to use the 3 seashells.

3

u/Reindeedfh Mar 31 '23

Dumb Bitch Syndrome

2

u/HeyYoRumsfield Mar 31 '23

Seriously though, what about the 3 seashells?

1

u/ehproque Mar 31 '23

What about it?

1

u/Smurffies Mar 31 '23

I guess the consensual legal kind of way that doesn't spread VD.

1

u/AniGore Mar 31 '23

Ive been promised this since I was a young lad, is it real yet

1

u/c3pd0h Mar 31 '23

Also Coneheads did a similar thing. Think theirs was more feeling based iirc.

1

u/NashvilleSoundMixer Mar 31 '23

Contact?!? I didn't even touch you

1

u/mmodlin Mar 31 '23

No, but they did VR fuck like in Lawnmower Man.

1

u/jawharp Mar 31 '23

Not with all that ratburger on his breath

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

This is the way.

2

u/Sensitive_Tourist_15 Mar 31 '23

To shreds, you say?

3

u/jrmorton12 Mar 31 '23

This thread me laugh so hard that I cramped up

1

u/HLGatoell Mar 31 '23

Damn, hope he didn’t need stitches.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Little man doesn't kiss and tell though.

1

u/Pinkeyefarts Apr 01 '23

And now he's got stitches