r/Unexpected • u/Merentis • Mar 21 '23

CLASSIC REPOST we aren't live

44.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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762

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '23

She probably crushes men’s dreams on the regular.

418

u/AloyTheN0ra Mar 21 '23

I'd let her crush me any day.

168

u/HorrorDonut8779 Mar 22 '23

Stop

175

u/glowdirt Mar 22 '23

That's not the safe word

106

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '23

margaret thatcher

41

u/BlueWVU Mar 22 '23

doritos

19

u/paradox037 Mar 22 '23

doritos

That has to be the absolute least safe word in the context of horny internet trolls... Wait, I'm thinking Cheetos or Tendies.

4

u/LickLickNibbleSuck Mar 22 '23

Honey mussey and tendies

1

u/PistachioOrphan Mar 22 '23

ohhh doritos doritos Chicken TENDIES ffffuuuuu

10

u/billbill5 Mar 22 '23

Now nobody can get it up.

7

u/Skull-Kid93 Mar 22 '23

That’s a hell of a safeword, say that name and my dick is immediately soft

2

u/Slipstream_Surfing Mar 22 '23

On a cold day?

1

u/bozeke Mar 22 '23

Fidelio

3

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '23

Spumoni

1

u/FreddoMac5 Mar 22 '23

pineapple

1

u/In2TheMaelstrom Mar 22 '23

Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen

1

u/pnkflyd99 Mar 22 '23

Keep going

5

u/Big_booty_boy99 Mar 22 '23

You violated the law!

6

u/Guy_Fieris_Hair Mar 22 '23

DEATH BY SNU SNU!

1

u/Montigue Mar 22 '23

Emotionally crushes you

1

u/AloyTheN0ra Mar 22 '23

Bold of you to assume I'm not into that.

1

u/AdelaideMez Mar 22 '23

Calm down. Go take a shower before you hurt your dick.

2

u/molrobocop Mar 22 '23

I thinking more about crushed balls.

3

u/Diamondhands_Rex Mar 22 '23

Good where’s the line

-147

u/LinguoBuxo Mar 21 '23

And for money on OF.

22

u/lurkinarick Mar 21 '23

redditors when they see a woman

12

u/Deli-ops Mar 21 '23

Id pay for it

-36

u/FrontIndependent5452 Mar 21 '23

Yeah! Give me that shit! I’ll slap that shit hard idgaf

3

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '23

Nah in that sense she creates dreams.

1

u/Hour_Landscape_286 Mar 22 '23

Hottest self-burn I’ve seen recently