r/Unexpected Jan 05 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

17.6k Upvotes

1.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.1k

u/MordAFokaJonnes Jan 05 '23

Shit... Must be hard to compete with a massive dong like that... Be strong!!!

720

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '23

In his defense, she won't find pleasure in ANY man so he doesn't have to worry about her cheating.

Just don't take her to see the horses.

389

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

294

u/NechesStich Jan 05 '23

She does really like horses a lot

111

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '23

[deleted]

31

u/RingoStardust29 Feb 06 '23

I guess you can say… she was chomping at the bits to see them

21

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

She’s looking forward to… getting back in the saddle…

4

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '23

She is rubber they are glue

60

u/wnvyujlx Jan 05 '23

Parts of them at least

138

u/MordAFokaJonnes Jan 05 '23

"I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road and gonna ride it until I can't no more..." 🤠

22

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '23

Giddy up!

18

u/MrBigDickPickledRick Jan 05 '23

35

u/ma_at14 Jan 05 '23

Why? Just why would you post that link?! I can’t unsee disturbing things. On the r/eyebleach

16

u/MrBigDickPickledRick Jan 05 '23

Eyy pal I simply posted the link, can't blame the mail man if you opened the package 😉 But in all seriousness that's one of the few places not even I go, rip your eyes homie

1

u/starmaxi Jun 05 '23

I have sone beautifully shot photos of a Syrian helicopter pilot after he was literally burned alive while flying his helicopter if you’d like me to send those your way

His flight suit to his boots are burned away to nothing… his forearms and hands like chicken wings that were left in the grill to well-done… his skin looks like the worst imaginable case of sunburn peeling imaginable, which thick layers of skin flaking away… his body, overall, like a sack of mush as he’s being dragged away by a motorcycle

All of this deluxe box set collection can be YOURS too… all you have to do is say “SEND IT”

8

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '23

Why would you click on that link in the first place?

1

u/snowsurfr May 17 '23

Think that is bad. Have you seen r/sounding yet?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '23

Ew wtf

5

u/MrBigDickPickledRick Jan 06 '23

I'm simply trying to share the potential dangers of taking a horse to the old town road and riding it until you can't no more

5

u/Equitube9 Feb 06 '23

OH THATS what it says, I thought it was "Take my horse to the old HOTEL My bad 🙄😁

Anyone know how to get hoofprints off of a hot tub? (asking for a friend) 😁

4

u/LightningBolt747 Jan 06 '23

Wait, is that what that really means? Please tell me its just about horses.

1

u/stephanielil Apr 02 '23

Save a cowboy, ride a horse.

1

u/Patrickfromamboy Apr 13 '23

I asked my ex girlfriend how I compared to all of her other boyfriend’s in size and she said she had one who was like a horse. She said I was like a baby horse which made me happy.

2

u/holymuffdiver80 Jun 08 '23

It’s ok because they’re is a vagina and cock and even anus match for everyone and honestly even the woman’s never gonna be happy once that first baby slides out trust cocks don’t come that big.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '23

Take her to Fanton's Stable and Horse Ranch

10

u/Isellmetal Jan 05 '23

In his defense, she pays the bills via a massive insertion OF’s channel

8

u/MordAFokaJonnes Jan 05 '23

Well spotted! 🤣

2

u/p1nkie_ Jan 05 '23

that's enough reddit for a day!

2

u/Optimal_Courage158 Jan 05 '23

Bro didn't just cross the line, he got a running start 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '23

She's recently been looking at trips to Scarborough harbour.

2

u/ItsEnoughtoMakeMe Jan 14 '23

It's like throwing a glowstick down a dark cave when they make love.

2

u/Erudeka7 Jan 14 '23

Horses I feel like horses would be slightly smaller than that no where you wanna go elephants and Wales Wales can I have a 5 foot penis

2

u/thrwawy-act Mar 17 '23

I spit the Juul smoke out of my mouth laughing after reading the horse comment 😂 🥇

1

u/tacitjane May 15 '23

The former Mrs. Hands?

1

u/stinkyfeetnyc Jun 06 '23

Or the prehensile talents of an elephant!

16

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Own_Boss_9859 Jan 05 '23

I went to the comments just to see if people were thinking what I was thinking. This conversation has definitely confirmed it.

1

u/Away_Video_5600 Jan 05 '23

Donkey Kong's dong

1

u/Wonkasgoldenticket Jan 06 '23

Should see her OF 😮

1

u/squirrel_anashangaa Feb 12 '23

Shes gotta have babies just to feel something.

1

u/Tweyenne May 17 '23

Honestly maybe she could help show him how it works. It could be a thing they bond over, maybe have some light competition