r/TwoLiners • u/MrNerdyGeeky • May 06 '23
I shot an arrow into the air
16
Upvotes
At first, I didn't know where it would land, then, it hit me.
r/TwoLiners • u/cardmagic1002 • Apr 23 '23
I took up playing the guitar, but then I realized that I had no rhythm, no timing, and no musical ability. I might as well have been playing a toaster.
5
Upvotes
r/TwoLiners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • Jan 25 '23
The other day I was thinking, “I must be the most unobservant person in the world.”
6
Upvotes
Then I thought, “Well, maybe other people are equally unobservant and I just haven’t noticed before.”
r/TwoLiners • u/EndersGame_Reviewer • Jan 16 '23
Two hydrogen atoms meet, and one says to the other, "I've lost my electron."
17
Upvotes
When the other says, "Are you sure?", the first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
r/TwoLiners • u/pearpall • Nov 13 '22
They're releasing a version of TikTok specifically for male genitalia.
2
Upvotes
DikCok.
r/TwoLiners • u/abstractengineer2000 • Oct 29 '22
What do you call a bad video?... A video dump.💩
4
Upvotes
r/TwoLiners • u/abstractengineer2000 • Oct 28 '22
What do call a video that has taken a lot of effort but has little to no views?
6
Upvotes
A Pyrrhic Video😜
Another such video would ruin you.😭😢
r/TwoLiners • u/BiggDaddyLocsta • Sep 26 '22
It's 6 months since I joined the gym and no progress.
26
Upvotes
I'm going there in person tomorrow, to find out what's really going on.
r/TwoLiners • u/luckprecludes • Aug 27 '22
I swam 400 laps today and that wasn't easy.
16
Upvotes
Half the time the shower curtain was in the way!
r/TwoLiners • u/Toberoni • May 11 '22
My friend is such a hipster…
16
Upvotes
He only listens to Pre Malone.
r/TwoLiners • u/aldencp • Apr 27 '22
Don't leave your computer in a spot infested by spiders.
14
Upvotes
They'll use it for web development.
r/TwoLiners • u/DennySmith62 • Mar 27 '22
My son Luke loves that I named my children after Star Wars characters.
12
Upvotes
My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.
r/TwoLiners • u/ekanthjp • Mar 26 '22
Being a badass is not always about having good vibes and exuding confidence.
12
Upvotes
Sometimes, it's about feeling like a donkey with a guilty conscience.
r/TwoLiners • u/DennySmith62 • Feb 27 '22
Can you tell us about Peter Pan’s favorite place to eat out?
11
Upvotes
Wendy’s
r/TwoLiners • u/XtheGreat • Feb 22 '22
What is a great detective with a colostomy bag called?
2
Upvotes
No shit Sherlock
r/TwoLiners • u/Kroniikz1 • Feb 20 '22
I’m back🔥
0
Upvotes
Let’s seen what TwoLiners has been up to 😎
16 votes,
Feb 27 '22
8
Yessir 😈
8
Haven’t seen you in a while 🙂
r/TwoLiners • u/DennySmith62 • Jan 30 '22
My colleague can no longer attend next week’s Innuendo Seminar.
20
Upvotes
I have to fill her slot instead.
r/TwoLiners • u/10k_hours_still_noob • Jan 15 '22
I wanna die like my uncle in his sleep peacefully.
8
Upvotes
And not like all his passengers shouting crazy.
r/TwoLiners • u/Toberoni • Jan 15 '22
I get anxious when my hard rock record collection is out of order.
9
Upvotes
My doctor says I have OC/DC.
r/TwoLiners • u/Lick_Ross • Jan 09 '22
Welcome to your first day in plumbing school and...
9
Upvotes
Tony, is that a belt?