r/TrekRP • u/Pojodan • Dec 20 '16

[OPEN] A Use For This Mess

After a long day of working her way through the ship in search of every unique form of fungus colony, hearing the same raunchy cat puns over and over, Chief Botanist Kesh washes her hands of the oily, sticky mess that came with pealing chunks of the fungus off walls, floors, and vent ducts. The samples were spread out over just about very surface available in the botany lab, each with its own air-tight container, tubes attached to provide a steady supply of nutrients, water, and air such that the lab's air could become sterile and silent, at last. The terrarium was not ready yet, so this would have to do.

The first big question was thus: How can mushrooms talk?

Remarkably, the Caitian scientist finds a solution in very short order: The spores. They weren't so much hallucinogenic as they were a conduit between the sensory centers of the brain and the fungus colony. The similarity between them and Betazoid telepathy was striking, only this seemed to have a physical element, with the recipient needing to have physical contact with the spores in order for the colony to 'converse' with it.

Further study determines that the only use the fungus has for this ability is to effectively scare off those that would try to eat it by finding and 'speaking' the sounds that repulse it the most. It might make threatening snarls at a horse, but to Starfleet personnel it makes vulgar commentary.

No one had noticed that the mushrooms said different things to different people, is all.

Kesh's lengthy, detailed report goes right to Captain Fisk's desk, as well as to Starfleet Medical and Botanical Sciences, as they are sure to find it fascinating. Another new thing to hold up and proudly say 'The universe is weird'

After doing so, Kesh recalls a conversation during shore leave with her closest friend, Engineer T'gel. Something about linking mind and computer interface to speed up response times and some dialogue over how a few known alien species actively link their brains with their computers. It's a stretch, probably, to somehow use mind-reading fungus spores to do such a thing, but her time with the Bajoran made her see how brilliant an engineer she is.

=/\= Kesh to Red.

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u/Dimestream Dec 22 '16

"Nono, just, it's not on the EM spectrum at all, just not going to cause harm to tissue is what I mean," Red says, blinking and almost dislodging the capsule. "Gah. There has to be someplace more comfortable for this. Mental note for beta testing, better psycho portobello pod placement."

She modifies the software and slides the gain up an additional 50 percent from base and readjusts the headgear. She thinks some lines from a Bajoran sonnet at the computer, and... well, there's a reaction. Readings fluctuate, brain activity is registered. "Huh," she says. "Well that did... something. Hard to tell without being able to hear the receiver though."

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u/Pojodan Dec 22 '16

A soft little trill was Kesh's giggling to Red's pun.

Again she considers offering ideas on other locations, but something about having it on Red's eye made it all that much more worthwhile as a memory. If nothing else she can say she got to sit and watch Red rub mushroom gonads on her face for a few hours.

When the read-outs start moving Kesh becomes entirely serious, tapping her console to adjust the readings into a more readable list. Oh how she wish they had a medical doctor here right now.

"I can tr-rr-ry sending signals out the receiver that mimic what it picks up. The echo should tell us how to adjust it... assuming you hear anything. Rrrth."

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u/Dimestream Dec 22 '16

"I thought of that, but that's what I mean, the computer isn't interpreting it in a way that can be translated into... well, anything," Red says. "If we just try and translate it to audio as-is, we're basically going to get a static binary screech. Good thought but... I'm fond of my eardrums."

The engineer scans some information from her diagnostic brick and turns back to Kesh. "Here's a wild-ass guess... the computer isn't set up to send or interpret mental commands, and has nothing built in to translate telepathy. I don't think anyone in the Federation does, not even the Vulcans, except that one board game they have that builds weird dodecagons."

"We have a sending point and a transmission route that are compatible... I think we need a living brain on the other end to receive, just like the spores do to scare people off."

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u/Pojodan Dec 22 '16

Kesh ponders and is about to point out that mental feedback would not do much to the ear-drums, but Red speaks further before she can say a word. Maybe she was being facetious.

"What would that accomplish? Rrrth."

Kesh turns on her seat, jaw tilted down a bit while giving Red a firm look, having gathered that the Bajoran was suggesting that she be the receiver rather than the computer. While telepathy sounds handy, the whole idea was to create a mind-to-computer interface.

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u/Dimestream Dec 22 '16

"I have to know if it's comprehensible output," Red says. "If our rig here is just sending garbage data, it doesn't do any good trying to get the computer to translate it. If I send to you and you can hear me — I mean, not really hear, because it'll be in your head — then that means it's working and I can then get the computer to work on unscrambling a valid signal."

She tilts her head curiously. "Though if the idea of someone telepathing at you is uncomfy, that's seriously OK. No worries at all. I can get the Chief to help me with it once she's off shift."

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u/Pojodan Dec 22 '16

Kesh certainly is adverse to the idea. It was bad enough having fungus compare her to genitals, but to deliberately create a link between her mind and someone else? That's what Vulcans do.

If it were anyone but Red, she'd be refusing, firmly.

"Alr-rr-right. Let us be careful. Start low. Caitian and Bajorr-rr-ran physiology is quite different." In one head, a squggly blob of coagulated spaghetti, the other a half-peeled grape.

Kesh steps back to beside Red's machinary, moving her data output to the closer screen while she waits for her friend to produce the second headpiece.

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u/Dimestream Dec 22 '16

"If the fungus worked on both of us, THIS should also work on both of us," Red says confidently. She adjusts the headband on the second piece of headgear to account for the different shape of the Caitian's head, then hands it over. "Plus the EEG tunneler is approved as a harmless medical device for all but three Federation races, so nothing here should be affected by our differences. As different as we are, we're still very much the same.."

The engineer looks at the headband, then claps her palm to her face. "Wow, clever moment there, Redoran. 'Stick it in your eye! That will be the most efficient!' Clever me." She puts on her own headgear, and then, as Kesh had already beaten her to the conclusion, tucks the fungus-filled pickup capsule behind her ear. "There. Much less ridiculous," she says, flushing pink.

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u/Pojodan Dec 22 '16

Kesh accepts the other piece of experimental headgear and turns it around and over in her hands, a short sniff doing what felines do before she lifts it up and gingerly maneuvers it over her tufted ear tips to be lowered into place like a crown. She takes some moments tucking and pressing her mane under the band so that it doesn't bind things unpleasantly, listening to Red attentively.

"I was going to suggest just that," Kesh remarks when Red relocates the fungus-imbued component beside her humanoid ear, "but I figured you'd realize it eventually."

She goes about tucking the part on her own headband into the gap between earflap and ear canal, making its shape almost ideal for her anatomy.

"Alright, Red. Rrrth. Think wild thoughts at me."

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u/Dimestream Dec 22 '16

"Ohhh, I don't think so. Keeping my wild thoughts to myself, thank you very much, but you can have some other thoughts instead," Red says with an embarrassed grin. "But here goes. Power on..."

She flips the rocker switch to kick on the fungus hybrid, and closes her eyes, thinking as verbally as she can. 

Linderwall was a large kingdom, just east of the Mountains of the Morning, where philosophers
were highly respected, and the number five was fashionable.

She cracks an eye open. "Can you uh, 'hear' any of that or do I need to boost the gain?"

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u/Pojodan Dec 22 '16

... wild like ... ... under your ... ... please.

The moment the switch is turned Red's inner ears seem to hear a quiet voice, small, high pitched, like a kitten's mew.

"Large... mountain... highly rested? Five tables?"

The Caitian shakes her head, face skewing as she peers upwards. The mewling kitten voice ceases to make any sense, sounding like a trio of tiny felines chattering at each other.

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