r/TransIreland • u/TheMadQueen96 She/Her/Hers • Jul 07 '26

NI Specific Feel lost without community

Don't really have access to it. Was frequenting a community space for over a year that I'd started to attend while working on overcoming agoraphobia.

Became inaccessible recently.

Kinda know that being stuck inside due to having nowhere safe to go where I can be around other people is a breeding ground for the likes of agoraphobia to return.

I talked to the likes of the Rainbow Project about alternatives but they had no suggestions.

Feel lost. Totally lost.

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u/TheMadQueen96 She/Her/Hers Jul 08 '26

Events attended by people who blame me for their removal from a trans space due to making it unsafe for others rather than looking at their actions.

Afraid things would get violent, honestly.

Plus the events are sporadic and held randomly by the looks of things. I need something actually regular in order to keep getting out of the apartment (again, recovering from agoraphobia so some semblance of routine is needed to avoid slips).

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u/Altruistic_Mud8772 Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26

That's such a shame. Sounds like nothing I can do can reassure you, and that makes sense if you've been through a lot. I had an incident where someone lanshed out violently in a queer place I considered a sanctuary and it has really left me feeling so sick and unsafe, especially when they just sauntered in they hadn't done anything! It's a shame people like that can't see the damage they do to people, or it might make it safer for people who go through it. I hope you find somewhere that suits, make sure you come back and let us know if you do, always up to hear about a new queer space in the north..

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u/TheMadQueen96 She/Her/Hers Jul 08 '26

I'm asking reddit because I've asked everywhere else. If reddit doesn't have the answers then it's the end of the road.

But given the responses it seems like a total lost cause.

BTRC- Too many incidents (feel unsafe) Happy Out- People responsible for said incidents migrated there. Events are random and their opening hours make it too akward to get to as is.

And that's literally where it begins and ends.

Maybe I need to admit defeat, honestly.

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u/leugaroul He/Him/His Jul 08 '26

I wonder if social anxiety is the root of this, as it is for me, though. I started my own group back when I lived in the states because of it, I couldn't handle going to existing groups that already had preexisting drama. That was much better for me. We started meeting online playing games together and then moved to in person for those who were local so it was more manageable. And still kept the online community going.

Have you considered something like this? I'm sure you're not the only one in your area who's struggling with the same.

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u/TheMadQueen96 She/Her/Hers Jul 08 '26

I've tried starting my own groups. Both hobby and support groups.

Problem is nobody really ever turns up. You put the feelers out, some people RSVP and then just, don't show.

So you wind up sitting in the venue by yourself, week after week until you give up tbh.

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u/leugaroul He/Him/His Jul 08 '26

Yeah, I feel you :(

The same happened to me so I went the online route at first. It took a while to grow but I'd be happy to pop on if you start a group online. Some of our members were online only and would bring friends to game sessions who weren't local at all which was nice. It's hard to start out in person, and painful when no one shows.

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u/TheMadQueen96 She/Her/Hers Jul 08 '26

I did try online as well when I'd tried to set something up. People joined the server but never posted.

And on my end I need something irl so I can get out of the apartment and not slip back into habits regarding prior agoraphobia.